Researchers in Spain discovered that men who drank 3 or more shots of liquor per day had 50% less heart disease as well as 28% more sex with a transvestite named "Penelope Cruzin'."

Dennis Rodman was detained in Germany after a hotel said he skipped out on a $5,000 bill. That's nothing: Rodman used to spend that much just on dress alterations.

I knew I had a rough Childhood when looking at Entertainment pages and seeing that ghastly Rihanna beating photo and thinking to myself "Wow that looks a lot like my memories"

Allen Iverson has placed phone calls with the Knicks and the Bobcats. Up next, the Suicide Hotline.

Hector Medina, one of Argentina's wealthiest men, had his body cryogenically frozen until medical science can develop a cure for gunshot wounds. 

Typical  Muslim Terrrorist child upbringing words of advice from parents. "Keep to yourself, walk softly, Praise Allah and carry a Neutron Bomb at all times."

Photo Shown is a 5 year old Muslim Future Terrorist having playtime with parents.

Mike Tyson was detained by the police after hitting a photographer at LAX. He was the only person there to make his connection.
 

You know that Frank's Red Hot Sauce commercial on the radio, the one with the slogan "I Put That Shit On Everything"?

That would've made a great slogan for K-Y jelly. 

A teacher who became notorious in the 1990s for having an affair with a sixth-grader is hosting a “Hot For Teacher” night at a Seattle bar – along with the former student, now her husband. Bar owner Mike Morris says Mary Kay Letourneau has served her sentence and it’s OK for the couple to have some fun. Before they can enter the contest, each contestant must cross the crowded bar and ask one of the pimply faced, pocket protector wearing 14 year olds to dance and fondle their ass.

   My wife has a grey thumb; she's killed more plants than have locusts.

   The only painless dentist is a dead dentist.  

   Can you believe that Ted Kennedy used to take his lawyer with him into the confessional? 

   A very well known--usually drunk--late-night radio talk show host has been known to leave his chair, on occasion, to piss in the corner of the studio.

   His producer often takes that time to remind listeners the show is "streaming live."