Paris Hilton has a new CD that will showcase her intellegent side.  The CD will be released Tuesday and is called  "I Could Have Dunced All Night." 

What does Paris Hilton and Tiger Woods have in common? They both are a big hit with clubs.

Over 100 celebrities gathered for Friday nights's telethon.   Among the celebrities manning the phones was Paris Hilton.   Paris Hilton said the telethon was a great idea to raise money for Haiti; she thinks he will make a great senator. 

Paris Hilton has leaked another video of herself. This self titled video is called DESIGNER VAGINER.

 In tonight's episode Ralph Kramden finds a suitcase full of drug money, a kilo of cocaine, Tiger Woods' cellphone, and a bottle of  Viagra on his bus . Wife Alice was heard saying " I really don't give a crap about any of Ralph's transgressions now that I have all that money and Coke .  I always dreamed I could live the life of Paris Hilton and now I can . C'mon Trixie , Let's go upstairs and party ! "  

Never minding what seems like rather profligate, unprotected sex (can someone say that there's a little Magic in that Johnson?)... attention must certainly be turned to all those (and no doubt, yet more to cum) women who seemed to have shown hardly any compunction at all about their serial, consecutive if simultaneous affairs with a married man...

Paris Hilton says she and her boyfriend cuddle with her pig at night. "Doug and I will be lying in bed, watching DVDs, and she'll just lie there between us. 

***When asked if she was afraid of catching a disease from cuddling with such a filthy creature, the pig said no .

Today wartime President Obama accepts the Nobel Peace Prize, tomorrow Paris Hilton accepts the Oscar for Best Actress. 

Never minding what seems like rather profligate, unprotected sex (can someone say that there's a little Magic in that Johnson?)... attention must certainly be turned to all those (and no doubt, yet more to cum) women who seemed to have shown hardly any compunction at all about their serial, consecutive if simultaneous affairs with a married man...

In consideration and in all fairness to them and to Elin, Dr. Jones is issuing a special invitation to:

RANK... THE.... SKANK !!!

CAST your ballots NOW...for the woman best able to capture and personify ALL those personal qualities one must have to be an A-LIST 'Ho. HELP US ....  HELP ALL AMERICA decide.

VOTE NOW....VOTE OFTEN....FOR:  


____   Jaimee Grubbs (now that's a fitting surname, ya think?)

____   Jamie Jungers

____   Mindy Lawton

____   Kalika Moquin

____   Con Rist

____   Rachel Uchitel

____   Somebody else..who's certainly out there, just waiting..that we don't know about..yet

* Paris Hilton and Kim Kardashian..as living members of the ALL TIME 'HO HALL OF FAME are ineligible for this competition. A separate "Vote off" for THE WORLD'S GREATEST 'HO is planned sometime in the Spring 2010. Look for your ballot arriving in your email, shortly



Rank The Skank (tm) is a duly registered trademark of T.L. "fairway woods" Jones' productions.     Any use, without due authorization, is welcome.

Paris Hilton said in an interview today , " This is why I don't date Black Men . With my luck he would cheat on me with a Negress, a Mulatto, or a Puerto Rican "