An Alaska dentist has given a bald eagle a unique beak - using a temporary crown, sticky poster putty and yellow highlighter. The bird was found in December with severe damage to its beak, apparently from fishing line that wrapped around it and started cutting into it.  Cindy Palmatier at the Bird Treatment and Learning Center says staff there decided to turn to dentist Kirk Johnson, who thought of patching up the beak with the same material used to make temporary crowns for people.  The "crown" is being held on with poster putty, and Johnson colored it in using highlighter to give it a yellow tint. The bird center says the eagle is doing just fine but won't be able to return to the wild.  ***MARLAR: Because even the animal kingdom sees ugly nose jobs. 

The tip-off was the sunglasses.  A New Yorker faces a $135 traffic fine for using a mannequin as her "plus one" in the high-occupancy vehicle lane of the Long Island Expressway.  An alert sheriff's deputy on Long Island became suspicious this week when he saw the "passenger" wearing sunglasses and using the visor. The problem: The sky was overcast.  When he stopped the vehicle, he found the mannequin, fully dressed with a long dark wig, blazer, shirt and scarf.  ***MARLAR: The driver said it was an honest mistake as he thought his plastic mannequin was actually Cher.

A company planning to open the first hotel in space says it will be able to accept its first paying guests in 2012.  The hotel amenities will include high-end toiletries, a mini-bar, and a beautiful view of the Earth’s demise.

Man walks into a church and heads to the confessional.

"Father, I've done something terrible."

Naturally, the priest is comforting.  "Now, son, God forgives all sins if you're truly sorry.  I assure you that nothing you've done is as terrible as some of the things I've heard before." 

The man then confesses to five-year adulterous relationship with a local beautician.

After sighing deeply, the priest says:  "Well, that's pretty bad stuff.  This isn't going to be any three Hail Mary's and an Our Father.  Naturally, you'll have to cut it off."

The man gulps.  "Cut it off?  Surely, there must be something else I can do, Father."

"SINNER!", the priest shouts.  "I'll accept no excuses.  If you're truly sorry you'll cut it off immediately.  If not, there's no absolution for you.  Now, go cut it off right now and come back here and tell me when it's done."

The man, obviously distraught, leaves the confessional in a hurry.  As directed, he returns within the hour.

In a slightly higher voice, he says to the priest.  "Well, Father, I've done it - I've cut it off."

The priest says:  "That's good son.  How did she take it?"   

James Cameron's AVATAR has just sailed past James Cameron's TITANIC to become the highest grossing movie of all time, domestically and internationally.

Wait a minute Avatar is not the grossest movie of all times. John Walters movie PINK FLAMINGOS is. It’s suppose to be funny but it’s grotesque, sick and disgusting. If you don’t believe me Google PINK FLAMINGOS.

Oh, hold on. They didn’t say “grossest”, they said “grossing”. SORRY. My Bad.

WELLINGTON, New Zealand - Using the web name "Unigirl" a 19-year-old student offered her virginity to the highest bidder on a auction site called ineed.co.nz saying she would use the money to pay for her tuition.

She says that more than 30,000 people viewed the site and more than 1,200 made bids.

She accepted an offer of more than 45,000 New Zealand dollars (US$32,000).

Tim Tebow, the Heisman winning quarterback, will be starring in a superbowl ad this Sunday stating his opposition to abortion, because his mother and father decided not to abort him.  Leaving aside the question of whether they were right or wrong, the fact is, both of his parents were itinerant preachers, wandering around the country "evangelizing" about Christ, while preventing young Tim from attending school....That's called "homeschooling".....Ya know I should tell my boss about "vacation-working"....Anyway,

Tim Tebow could recite the laws of Newtonian physics directly from the textbook and I would raise an eyebrow...........

He could tell me that the 8-sided red signs at the ends of many streets are stop signs, and I'd be highly skeptical.....

For Heaven's sake, Tim Tebow could tell me that the sun rises in the east and I'd think he was full of shit!

A 19 year old New Zealand girl desperate to pay for college put her virginity up for bid online, with offers going as high as $31,900.  

Conditions were listed as "slightly used" but the seller's rating was just over 95%, so you know you'll get your money's worth.