Here's a custom essays about Obama:

 Jamie Waylett -- who plays the school bully in all six "Potter" flicks -- was popped in April after cops found eight bags of weed in the car in which Jamie was riding. Cops then searched Waylett's mom's place and found 10 pot plants.

Mr Waylett has denied that it is marijuana and steadfastly says that the bags and plants confiscated by the police are in fact -Chinese Chomping Cabbage- that he had grown as a wizardry/herbology project.

Professor Dumbledore, Headmaster of Hogwarts, was unavailable for comment. It seems he got hold of some of Mr.Wayletts "cabbage" and went on a magic carpet ride and was last seen somewhere between South Carolina and Buenos Aires.

Messages keep popping up on my computer that I need to update this and download that.  I think I have a Jewish motherboard.  

Pacers owner Herb Simon is considering moving his team out of Indianapolis. That way they can find another city to disgrace.

David Beckham is currently starring in a Chinese TV commercial for anti-impotence pills. The pills are made of natural herbs, chemical supplements, and pictures of Beckham's wife.

A Chinese herbal remedy called horny goat weed is a promising alternative to Viagra for impotent men, Italian researchers said on Monday.   Unfortunately, possible side effects include headaches, visual problems, and an appetite for tin cans.