Christy Harp, a teacher from Ohio, won top honors in a pumpkin-growing contest.

Her 1,725-pound gourd is expected to set a world record.

In related headlines…

Massachusetts Salutes Red Sox for Laying Giant Egg in 5-0 Loss vs. Angels in Game 1 of ALDS

A tearful David Letterman announced on his show just how sorry he was to everyone who was hurt by his scandalous sexual indiscretions that became public headlines recently .  " It was so much fun to screw around with my girls until I got caught . That blackmailer guy ruined everything for me . "  " Anyway, i plan to give all the people i wronged a special gift for Christmas . A 5% pay increase and a $500 gift card to Fredericks of Hollywood , plus another $500 gift card for Victoria's Secret ! " ..........................................................................(kascha/whitney)

31-year-old Tiffany Shepherd, the Florida biology teacher who made headlines in April after bikini-clad pictures of her on a fishing charter got her fired from Port St. Lucie High School has landed a new career—in pornography!

Apparently, those who can’t do—teach. And those who can’t teach—do porn!

General Motors made headlines with the new Chevrolet Volt electric car.

Among its amazing features, it is said to get 230 miles per gallon, and, because of its amazing gas millage, is rumored to run on gas companies tears.

I don't buy porn magazines anymore. The flavor text on the cover got to be annoying. Why do porn mags need flavor text anyway, as if it's not enough to have a naked woman on the cover as a selling point? Perhaps there's a guy out there who's afraid of being branded both illiterate and a pervert? The flavor text can be a bit much though, they're always lurid headlines--TEEN SLUT IS A CUM JUNKIE! Or HORNY HOUSEWIFE DOES 25 GUYS IN BUKKAKE ORGY!

 It's sad that even now, the porn mag industry still feels the need to degrade copy editors.

South Carolina's governor Mark Sanford made headlines earlier this week after suddenly disappearing deep into the woods of the Appalachian Trail. It seems that the governor was actually visiting the new Republican headquarters.  

Whats the pig deal?

Special Olympian Kolan McConiughey made headlines by boasting he could beat Barack Obama at bowling. And George W. Bush at the SATs.

Bill Gates, co-founder of Microsoft made headlines this week when he released a cloud of what was believed to be Malaria mosquitos at a technology conference this week.  A quick thinking Michael Phelps sitting in the front row, fought back by racing around the auditorium with what was believed to be an insect fogger. 

Later while laughing hysterically, and scarfing down some Doritos and Mountain Dew, Gates admitted they were not Malaria mosquitos, and Phelps admitted that was no insect fogger.  The audience was last seen hanging out at a nearby Taco Bell.

 I was reading the paper the other day and I saw an article titled, "Utah Poison Control reminds everyone not to take poison."

I love it when...people do their jobs