Two sisters won the Pittsburgh-area boys doubles tennis championship. Karli and Tayla Timko defeated Tin Chu and Drew Gallatin of Thomas Jefferson High 6-2, 6-1 Friday. The sisters from Chartiers-Houston High said “Its not that we don't like to play girls tennis, it’s just that we prefer to play with the boy’s balls.”

A Cleveland museum has learned that what it thought was a lock of hair from Amelia Earhart is just thread. Shocking... who knew Amelia Earhart wore a cheap wig.

10 ) Must be able to keep your mouth shut, (after sex)

9 ) Be able to work late hours after stage hands and cleaning crew go home .

8 ) Must be single, no kids, and never married .

7 ) Can not have any jealous boyfriends lurking around the studio

6 ) Prefer you have the face of Heather Locklear, the eyes of Catherine Zeta-Jones, the lips of Angelina Jolie, the fiery red hair of Angie Everhart, and the body of Cindy Margolis .

5 ) Be able to take dictation to CBS law firm while sitting on Dave's lap .

4 )  You are not allowed to wear pantyhose . Dave prefers you wear black stockings, garter belts, thong panties, and 5 inch spiked heels .  

3  Know how to do C.P.R., Letterman is no spring chicken .

2 ) Must be able to have your eyes open and keep a straight face during Dave's love-making sessions .

1 ) Stay at least 100 feet away from Paul Shaffer . He's Dave's Boy-Toy !    

31-year-old Tiffany Shepherd, the Florida biology teacher who made headlines in April after bikini-clad pictures of her on a fishing charter got her fired from Port St. Lucie High School has landed a new career—in pornography!

Apparently, those who can’t do—teach. And those who can’t teach—do porn!

...after his recent outburst at the VMA awards, kanye west is now the first entertainer to be #1 on the charts while still being "#2"... 

An Australian school was forced into lock down mode after a herd of deer amassed on the playground. Authorities said game wardens armed with tranquilizer guns are being called in.. Coincidentally, Ted Nugent has chartered a flight to Sydney..... and he didn't pack a tranquilizer gun!!

Ron Artest plans to wear No. 37 this season because that was the number of weeks Michael Jackson's Thriller topped the record charts. It will certainly look better than 00, which is the number of people who bought Artest's last album.

Governor Tim Pawlenty of Minnesota had some sharp words regarding fellow Republican Mark Sanford's extramarital affair...even going so far as to compliment Jenny Sanford for not standing by her husband during his press conference confession.

Gov. Pawlenty: "It's a sad and troubling situation with Jenny and Mark Sanford. I know them. I'm proud of Jenny for her strength and her commitment to her family...Frankly, I was glad to see her not standing at the press conference like many have, and kind of charting her own path."

Translated: "So listen Jenny...if y'ever find yourself in need of a little of that T-L-C once the kids are all tucked in for the night, why don't you g'wan ahead and give Big Timmy a call. I could have a 'copter waiting for you right now, baby. Just say the word, and you can swing by the Governor's Mansion for a mouthful of Good an' Paw-lenty anytime you want it. Awww, yeah."

A major GPS manufacturer recently announced that you can now purchase Dale Earnhart Jr's voice for your GPS system. Even though it is great to tell you "left turn ahead" or "right turn ahead", it does have a hard time finding certain streets like, Pit Road and Victory Lane.

Josh Hartnett was at the Chateau Marmont hotel when he began complaining of "excruciating" abdominal pain. The actor had just finished a Josh Hartnett movie marathon.