-If you combine the letters K and N, K becomes a silent letter. I wish K would stop being so shy and tight lipped when he hangs out with his buddy, N who does all the talking.

"Hey, N, Knock knock?"

"Speak up."

"Ka nock ka nock"?

"Who's there?"

"Ka-new then and Ka-now now"

"Ka-new then who and ka-know now who? "

"Ka-new then was phonetic pronunciations for canoe boats or Keanu Reeves …"

"Hahaha…."

"Wait there's more…Ka-now now that I'm no longer your silent partner when we Ka-nit a sweater, Ka-not shoelaces, Ka-neel down on one Ka-nee or I'll Ka-nife you to death!"

Then a (parenthesis police dept)  squad car creeps up, "This is the PPD. We have you surrounded. And remember that everyone's a silent letter when we patrol the streets bitches. So both of you shut the fuck up!"

N whispers to K, "Happy now, god damn it?"

I heard we dropped the bomb...so IRAN home to my FOX and I saw it on the TV.

We gave them the A bomb and then the H bomb.

The people in Iran said AH!!!!! The rest of US said HA!!!!!

The more we give them AAAAHHHH!!!!! The more people say HAHAHA!!!!!

Have you heard the one about a stupid American marrying a beautiful foreigner from lets say a third world country in Asia that sounds a lot like Philippines, and the beautiful foreigner steals kids and $200,000.00 and gets Visa and moves to California. It's hilarious. It will drive you insane. You should try it sometime if you want to go the funny distance. Not recommended for minors or unprofessionals. This could be very dangerous to your health and should only be undertaken by professional madmen. To all the good Filipinos out there and there are many may you always be blessed.

Note: Anyone who wants to set their friends (haha) up with the one mentioned above, I'll gladly do it. She is beautiful, has a smile that will kill you and actually does.

P.S. Next time I will marry a squirrel, I know they like nuts and are loyal. Or a martian.

I was watching a horror movie with my buddy, and these kids are in the house with the killer and my buddy goes:

"Man! I would be so out of there..."

haha and so I pointed out:

"Yeah, and that's why no Hollywood exec would spend money to make your horror movie. They dont make movies... horror or otherwise... about a group of teen-agers that all make good decisions."

Did you know it’s possible to drink too much water?  People have overdosed and died from water.  Meanwhile... no one has ever overdosed from weed... hmm.  Either water should be illegal... or...

Also... water is completely safe if used in a bong... there's no way the water can harm you that way... hahaha... put that in your pipe and smoke it!

Hey Gang, Welcome back to The View From Silverhorn Mountain.

Sad news to report today, the United States has lost it's 38th President, Gerald R. Ford. President Ford was President Ford for about 895 days back in the early 1970's. Although he turned down several invitations to Silverhorn Lodge, well..... actually he never  replied to our invitations, although we did have a nice visit from some Secret Service chaps who stayed for tea one afternoon....nonetheless we always had a special place for him here on the mountain. He seemed like a nice man....President Ford was 93 years old when he cashed in his presidential seal...and speaking of seals...or dolphins... 

As you know, our research has shown animals are acting strange these days, and some are striking back in one form or another, take Boo the Bear, Hoppy the Irish Kangaroo and of course, Crusty Croc. Well add another one to the list. We now have Dick Dolphin, a New Zealander who put a woman in critical condition in hospital after he jumped into her boat and crushed her....

Apparently a 27-year-old woman had been watching from the bow (that means the front) of the small boat cruising among the marine mammals off the North Island's Coromandel Peninsula on Tuesday when the bottlenose dolphin landed on her, the New Zealand Herald said. Experts, (where would we be without them) say if the dolphin had a bottle stuck on his nose, that may explain his actions.....

Not happy to just crush a woman and leave, this guy also smashed the boats windshield and bow rails. Witnesses say he gave one of those high pitched Flipper laughs and then flipped them the..eh...well flipper, before jumping back into the water. 

Another expert, reportedly from the Coast guard, trying to sound like a...well...an expert, said the dolphin probably got over-excited and jumped on to the boat.....uh-huh...and duh....you can count on an expert to turn up and explain it to us dummies....this expert was breaking new ground...er..I mean water...because he added that he had never heard of such an incident before. Well obviously he doesn't read The View From Silverhorn Mountain because we reported on just such a similar incident some time ago.  Frequent readers will remember the 'indepth' report we did regarding sturgeons leaping into boats in Florida, if you don't remember you can find it <a href="http://robertparker.blogspot.com/2006/08/">HERE</a>

Experts....hmmmmmmphfff!!!

In other totally unrelated stuff, the world's oldest hockey stick, circa 1850 (I have absolutely no idea what circa means but all the antiques 'experts' say it) recently sold for 1.9 million american dollars....whew...Not bad for an old piece of hickory...It is going to be displayed at the Hockey Hall of Fame in Montreal...the building is probably not worth as much as the old stick.

The buyer, who made the purchase on an internet auction, is an unclothed Canadian man who plans to store the stick in the Hall of Fame until he decides what to do with it...oops...I think that should read "Undisclosed" not "unclothed" although after spending 1.9 mil on a hockey stick, who knows, sounds like he bid the shirt off his back....

Ok, lets leave Canada for a second and travel down to North Platte, that is in Nebraska, which is a nice name but doesn't stir up much emotion for me...well, it seems a stink at the county jail has landed a man in court. It seems Brian Bruggeman, may have...well...passed a little gas a little too close to another inmate by the name of Jessie Dorris...or Dorris Jessie, you can't be too sure with those reversible names...Well, I guess the gas leak started a little bruhaha between the two ah...er...smellmates...I mean cellmates..and ended up with Bruggeman shoving Jessie's head into the cell bars.

Now Bruggeman is enjoying some extra time in the crapper..no, I mean slammer, waiting for a preliminary hearing on January 11th. It seems the charges could earn him an additional  couple of years in prison.

Brad Dawson, Bruggeman's attorney, didn't offer much in the way of comment to our Silverhorn Researchers, but did say his client planned on causing quite a stink over this.....

Well I think I have done enough damage for one night......

Hey Silverhorners! Welcome back to Silverhorn Mountain. It's Tuesday and you all know what that means...ummm....ah...well...I'm not sure but it means something.....

Another great day around the Silverhorn as we prepare for our next Christmas Party bash to be held this coming weekend. Everything is ready, just a matter of packing in the participants and we are off on another party odessy. Be sure to book your party here next year, unfortunately we are fully booked this year, sorry, I know that is disappointing.

<strong>AM I STUPID?</strong>
Marcello and his great team of Silverhorn Researchers have been hard at work and found this little gem for the Am I Stupid? category. It seems a bank robber in Vienna, left his bank card at the bank...duh..it seems he checked his balance before deciding to hold up the bank, forgetting to get his card back. He is going to have 4 years in the slammer to think about it. OK, forgetting your bank card is one thing, but, this guy returned to the bank to deposit some of the money he had stolen, and at the same time reported his card lost.....I think it is safer for him if he just stays in jail...

<strong>I AM STUPID</strong>
And from the <strong>I am Stupid files</strong>, a fellow from Wichita (he might have been the Wichital Lineman we're not sure) called the police to report a robbery. Yes, this guy wanted the police to track down the perp who robbed him of $1100.00 worth of marijuana.

The police, always pretty sharp about stuff like this, brought in a drug sniffer who located more marijuana in the guys house. Nope, they didn't catch the robber, but they did manage to book a room at the county jail for the victim.

<strong>OTHER STUFF</strong>
In other stuff, Tony Soprano, ah no, actually James Gandolfini, has claimed the crown as the monarch Bacchus for the New Orleans 2007 Carnival. I gotta mention, I like the name Gandolfini...it's got a ring to it...Gandolfini...say it out loud....

Anyone who doesn't participate in the carnival...well....it's business...just business...sorry...but we gotta whack ya....We are thinking about putting a Silverhorn Mountain Float in the parades. The gnomes are busy building a plaster of paris lifesize Silverhorn Mountain now.

<strong>THE CONSPIRACY CONTINUES - SILVERHORN RESEARCHERS ARE ON THE CASE</strong>Well well...it seems my penchant for conspiracy theories is paying off...a French jeweller made it known today that Dodi Al-Fayed (doesn't roll of the tongue like Gandolfini does it?) and Princess Diana, purchased an engagement ring  before they were killed in a "car crash" in Paris. The happy (up until then) couple picked up the ring hours before the fatal crash.

This is apparently substantiated by a receipt and a close circuit television tape dated August 30, 1997. These were turned over to authorities, (similiar to officials, but with more authority) who were investigating the crash.

For the benefit of those of you who just came back from a 10 year odsessy in the wilds of Borneo, the crash was blamed on the driver of the allegedly apparently possibly likely recently engaged couple, a mysterious little fellow by the name of Henri Paul. I dunno about you, but I am always suspicious of guys who have two first names as their name...take for example, Robert Parker...

Investigators say Henri Paul was drunk, high on prescription drugs and driving too fast.

The soon to be released report is expected to confirm the findings of the French investigation that it was an accident, not a plot by British intelligence and others.

Aha! Tell that to Dodi's father, who is convinced that the couple were killed in an elaborate plot by MI6 (British Intelligence...if I tell you anymore than that, I have to kill you) and was covered up by the establishment including the Royal Family...this is juicy stuff folks and we here on the Siverhorn Investigative Research Team (SIRT) are not going to let it go easy...we're all over it. Agent Marcello is trying to book a flight to London tonight...unfortunately, owing to a little passport mishap involving a some snakes on a plane, I can't go....

OK, I can buy that he was drunk, but how did he get drunk? Why was he allowed to drive? His being drunk doesn't rule out a conspiracy...c'mon...think about it..I'm drunk most of the time, how else do you think I can write this stuff...that doesn't mean I can't take part in, or be victim of a conspiracy if one comes along...

<strong>Tomorrow night...Was the US Secret Service bugging Diana's phone? The Conspiracy Continues. </strong>

<strong>BRITNEY NEWS</strong>
OK, I give up all pretense, I am a Britney Spears convert, and I have decided to dedicate a sextion (oops ha ha) of this blog to Britney regularly in a blatent attempt to get her attention.

Britney Spears has been reading these posts and seems to be cleaning up her act, snagging a new beau and a nice pair of panties. Talk around the celebrity set here on Silverhorn Mountain is that Britney has found a new love interest in a chap by the name of Jonathan Rotem, who, because people have trouble remembering his name, call "JR"

JR is a panty manufacturer from LA, oops no, little typo there, he is actually a music producer which is convenient since Britney is into music.

It seems the only reason Brit was running around without her shorts, and causing the big paparazzi blogger bruhaha was an attempt to win the My Guy Pillow, a male torso shaped pillow awarded to the celebrity most in need of a pillow shaped like a guy. The pillow comes from a company called Kemry Corp, who's slogan is When Your Guy Won't Cuddle, My Guy Will...it's slogans like that which get a people in trouble. Fans voted for Britney, in an attempt to try and tame her down a bit, and get her back on track as she (close your eyes if you are under 21) 'mounts her comeback'...

So now the big blogger question is...who is her comeback?

Does anyone recall the words to Wichital Lineman? Glen Campell song...
<em>"I am a lineman for the counteeee and I drive the back roads....searching in the wires for anotherrr overrrload....and I need you more than want you...and I want you for all timmmmmee, and the Wichital linemannnn is still on the linnnnneeeeee"</em>

EVERYBODY NOW SING!!

Hey Silverhorners! Welcome back to Silverhorn Mountain. It's Tuesday and you all know what that means...ummm....ah...well...I'm not sure but it means something.....

Another great day around the Silverhorn as we prepare for our next Christmas Party bash to be held this coming weekend. Everything is ready, just a matter of packing in the participants and we are off on another party odessy. Be sure to book your party here next year, unfortunately we are fully booked this year, sorry, I know that is disappointing.

<strong>AM I STUPID?</strong>
Marcello and his great team of Silverhorn Researchers have been hard at work and found this little gem for the Am I Stupid? category. It seems a bank robber in Vienna, left his bank card at the bank...duh..it seems he checked his balance before deciding to hold up the bank, forgetting to get his card back. He is going to have 4 years in the slammer to think about it. OK, forgetting your bank card is one thing, but, this guy returned to the bank to deposit some of the money he had stolen, and at the same time reported his card lost.....I think it is safer for him if he just stays in jail...

<strong>I AM STUPID</strong>
And from the <strong>I am Stupid files</strong>, a fellow from Wichita (he might have been the Wichital Lineman we're not sure) called the police to report a robbery. Yes, this guy wanted the police to track down the perp who robbed him of $1100.00 worth of marijuana.

The police, always pretty sharp about stuff like this, brought in a drug sniffer who located more marijuana in the guys house. Nope, they didn't catch the robber, but they did manage to book a room at the county jail for the victim.

<strong>OTHER STUFF</strong>
In other stuff, Tony Soprano, ah no, actually James Gandolfini, has claimed the crown as the monarch Bacchus for the New Orleans 2007 Carnival. I gotta mention, I like the name Gandolfini...it's got a ring to it...Gandolfini...say it out loud....

Anyone who doesn't participate in the carnival...well....it's business...just business...sorry...but we gotta whack ya....We are thinking about putting a Silverhorn Mountain Float in the parades. The gnomes are busy building a plaster of paris lifesize Silverhorn Mountain now.

<strong>THE CONSPIRACY CONTINUES - SILVERHORN RESEARCHERS ARE ON THE CASE</strong>Well well...it seems my penchant for conspiracy theories is paying off...a French jeweller made it known today that Dodi Al-Fayed (doesn't roll of the tongue like Gandolfini does it?) and Princess Diana, purchased an engagement ring  before they were killed in a "car crash" in Paris. The happy (up until then) couple picked up the ring hours before the fatal crash.

This is apparently substantiated by a receipt and a close circuit television tape dated August 30, 1997. These were turned over to authorities, (similiar to officials, but with more authority) who were investigating the crash.

For the benefit of those of you who just came back from a 10 year odsessy in the wilds of Borneo, the crash was blamed on the driver of the allegedly apparently possibly likely recently engaged couple, a mysterious little fellow by the name of Henri Paul. I dunno about you, but I am always suspicious of guys who have two first names as their name...take for example, Robert Parker...

Investigators say Henri Paul was drunk, high on prescription drugs and driving too fast.

The soon to be released report is expected to confirm the findings of the French investigation that it was an accident, not a plot by British intelligence and others.

Aha! Tell that to Dodi's father, who is convinced that the couple were killed in an elaborate plot by MI6 (British Intelligence...if I tell you anymore than that, I have to kill you) and was covered up by the establishment including the Royal Family...this is juicy stuff folks and we here on the Siverhorn Investigative Research Team (SIRT) are not going to let it go easy...we're all over it. Agent Marcello is trying to book a flight to London tonight...unfortunately, owing to a little passport mishap involving a some snakes on a plane, I can't go....

OK, I can buy that he was drunk, but how did he get drunk? Why was he allowed to drive? His being drunk doesn't rule out a conspiracy...c'mon...think about it..I'm drunk most of the time, how else do you think I can write this stuff...that doesn't mean I can't take part in, or be victim of a conspiracy if one comes along...

<strong>Tomorrow night...Was the US Secret Service bugging Diana's phone? The Conspiracy Continues. </strong>

<strong>BRITNEY NEWS</strong>
OK, I give up all pretense, I am a Britney Spears convert, and I have decided to dedicate a sextion (oops ha ha) of this blog to Britney regularly in a blatent attempt to get her attention.

Britney Spears has been reading these posts and seems to be cleaning up her act, snagging a new beau and a nice pair of panties. Talk around the celebrity set here on Silverhorn Mountain is that Britney has found a new love interest in a chap by the name of Jonathan Rotem, who, because people have trouble remembering his name, call "JR"

JR is a panty manufacturer from LA, oops no, little typo there, he is actually a music producer which is convenient since Britney is into music.

It seems the only reason Brit was running around without her shorts, and causing the big paparazzi blogger bruhaha was an attempt to win the My Guy Pillow, a male torso shaped pillow awarded to the celebrity most in need of a pillow shaped like a guy. The pillow comes from a company called Kemry Corp, who's slogan is When Your Guy Won't Cuddle, My Guy Will...it's slogans like that which get a people in trouble. Fans voted for Britney, in an attempt to try and tame her down a bit, and get her back on track as she (close your eyes if you are under 21) 'mounts her comeback'...

So now the big blogger question is...who is her comeback?

Does anyone recall the words to Wichital Lineman? Glen Campell song...
<em>"I am a lineman for the counteeee and I drive the back roads....searching in the wires for anotherrr overrrload....and I need you more than want you...and I want you for all timmmmmee, and the Wichital linemannnn is still on the linnnnneeeeee"</em>

EVERYBODY NOW SING!!

"...and then I said TRYPTOPHAN! Get it? TRIP-TOE-FAN! HAHAHA!"