Man walks into a church and heads to the confessional.
"Father, I've done something terrible."
Naturally, the priest is comforting. "Now, son, God forgives all sins if you're truly sorry. I assure you that nothing you've done is as terrible as some of the things I've heard before."
The man then confesses to five-year adulterous relationship with a local beautician.
After sighing deeply, the priest says: "Well, that's pretty bad stuff. This isn't going to be any three Hail Mary's and an Our Father. Naturally, you'll have to cut it off."
The man gulps. "Cut it off? Surely, there must be something else I can do, Father."
"SINNER!", the priest shouts. "I'll accept no excuses. If you're truly sorry you'll cut it off immediately. If not, there's no absolution for you. Now, go cut it off right now and come back here and tell me when it's done."
The man, obviously distraught, leaves the confessional in a hurry. As directed, he returns within the hour.
In a slightly higher voice, he says to the priest. "Well, Father, I've done it - I've cut it off."
The priest says: "That's good son. How did she take it?"
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