According to a recent study, drinking beer is good for a person’s bones.   One group exempted from this study- drunk snowboarders.

UFC is releasing a new video game, thrilling all the UFC fans who are in good enough shape to only play video games.

Good news--Tiger now out of sex rehab. As part of his treatment, they've prescribed a twelve step program starting with a "snatch-patch" to wean him off his addicktion. 

Vanilla Ice performed at halftime of a New Jersey Nets game. To make the Nets look good in comparison.

Man walks into a church and heads to the confessional.

"Father, I've done something terrible."

Naturally, the priest is comforting.  "Now, son, God forgives all sins if you're truly sorry.  I assure you that nothing you've done is as terrible as some of the things I've heard before." 

The man then confesses to five-year adulterous relationship with a local beautician.

After sighing deeply, the priest says:  "Well, that's pretty bad stuff.  This isn't going to be any three Hail Mary's and an Our Father.  Naturally, you'll have to cut it off."

The man gulps.  "Cut it off?  Surely, there must be something else I can do, Father."

"SINNER!", the priest shouts.  "I'll accept no excuses.  If you're truly sorry you'll cut it off immediately.  If not, there's no absolution for you.  Now, go cut it off right now and come back here and tell me when it's done."

The man, obviously distraught, leaves the confessional in a hurry.  As directed, he returns within the hour.

In a slightly higher voice, he says to the priest.  "Well, Father, I've done it - I've cut it off."

The priest says:  "That's good son.  How did she take it?"   

Good news for the Obama administration.  The snowstorm should create lots of those "shovel-ready" jobs promised in the stimulus package.

Guy dies and heads up to heaven.  St. Peter says, "Well, your record is a bit mixed, Harry. Some good deeds, some bad.  I'm afraid that banging your secretary for the last few months has tipped the scales against you.  It'll take a couple of months in Purgatory to cleanse your soul."

Harry is nonplussed.  "Purgatory? That's nothing.  My wife gave me Hell for doing that." 

Talent is in the ear of the beholder Taylor Swift sqeaked out some sounds at Grammy's last night million dollar vocals good for about a buck fifty?