A Democratic senator from Arkansas is not sure if she'll vote for the health care bill because she wants to make sure that it's good for the people in her state.  I say, "Vote for the bill.  We'll fly all 7 people in your state to our New York doctors whenever they're sick!."

I am glad to see Newsweek using sex to promote the magazine(Sarah Palin cover).  The awful covers of the past were the most unattractive containing the ugliest people.  Now, I hope your highly trained publishing staff takes it to a new level.  Let’s have fold outs of Hillary Clinton, Nancy Pelosi, Molly Ivin ( oops sorry, past away),  and of course Michelle!.  These could be done tastefully…like that Burt Reynolds fold out years ago.  In order to be politically correct, how about Senators Bird, Reed, and maybe even commentators such as Keith Olbermann.  He is always looking for ways to promote himself-look at Sunday Night Football (talk about odd ball-it's like having Bozo in a discussion with scientists on Global Warming). I would add Limbaugh and some others, but they are not good looking enough for your high quality publication.  I suggest sticking to Liberals, The Beautiful People! Why, maybe your editors could win the Nobel Peace prize for Literature using sex.  After all, sex is true peace!   Gene Stray

Putting a good spin on bad news : April 15, 1912 , White Star Liner officials announce, : Titanic sinks, but the good news is 705 people were rescued . Unfortunately 1517 died but they were mostly lower class steerage passengers  .  ****** Election Day November 7, 1972 : President Nixon beats George McGovern in a lopsided landslide victory. The McGovern campaign manager declared, " We may have lost 49 out of 50 states including George's home state of South Dakota, but we won Massachusetts ! "  ********  November 16, 2009  General Motors announces a loss of Only $1.2 Billion Dollars for the third quarter. President Obama was so pleased with the good news G.M. didn't lose another $6 billion of taxpayer money as had been expected.  He said on Chinese National TV, " I think it's time we pop open the champaigne bottles and celebrate ! "   .

   An elderly local sign-maker found that he had in stock over 20,000 somewhat dated placards, declaring :  "The Customer Is Always Right."

   The oldtimer was not optimistic about selling these signs --until he got an idea and made a quick phone call.

   Fox News bought them all. 

I have looked into the future.The bad news is: Sarah Palin is elected President on November 6,2012.The good news is:On December 21,2012,the world comes to an end.

   Irate hypochondriac to medical specialist:  "Look, doc, I paid you good money--find something!" 

Hasheem Thabeet fractured his jaw after colliding with Zach Randolph's head. Finally – we knew Randolph's head had to be good for something.

Late credit cards payments have taken a sharp spike, which analysts say is a sign that the economy is leaving consumers broke.  ***MARLAR: Whew!  It’s a good thing we still have our credit cards then, isn’t it?

Two students claim they were recently pushed by Michigan athletic director Bill Martin. It's never a good sign when your AD has more fight in him than your football team.

What's the difference between the Oakland Raiders and Goodyear tires? Normally,  Goodyears don't suffer blow outs only on Sunday afternoons in autumn..