Rush Limbaugh has pounced on Rahm Emanuel's "retarded" blunder and is using the same offensive term to bludgeon his enemies on the left.

"Our political correct society is acting like some giant insult has taken place by calling a bunch of people who are retards, retards," Limbaugh said on the show.

 An old classic -----Three blondes meet at the Pearly Gates of heaven. St. Peter gave them an entrance exam. He asked the first blond, “What is Easter?”
She answered, “Oh, that’s easy. It’s in November and we all eat turkey…”
“Wrong,” St. Peter said. “You can’t come in.” He asked the second blonde, “What is Easter?”
“Oh, that’s in December, when we celebrate the birth of Christ, and exchange gifts, and eat lots of turkey.”
“No, no,” St. Peter said, looking discouraged. He turned to the third blonde and said, “Can you tell me what Easter is?”
“Of course,” he said. “Jesus was crucified by the Romans. They nailed him to the cross, made him wear a crown of thorns, and pierced his side. His friends buried him in a cave and sealed it with a stone.”
“Excellent,” St. Peter said. “Go on.”
“On Easter, they roll away the stone, and Jesus rises. If he sees his shadow, we’ll have six more weeks of winter.”

When Pat Robertson arrives at the pearly gates Saint Peter will probably ask him.

Where in the HELL ....... do you think your going?

The Consumer Electronics Show and AVN Adult Entertainment Expo occurred simultaneously in Vegas... Unfortunately, a scheduling mixup sent guest speakers to the wrong venues.. Bill Gates' speech on Windows 7 at AVN fell on deaf ears while Jenna Jameson's strap-on demonstration drew record crowds at CES...

Former NFL player Chris Henry showed up at the Pearly Gates yesterday, shirtless, wild eyed, and dishevelled.

St. Peter gave him a skeptical once over and laughed.

"This is an exclusive gated community, kid, we don't just open up the doors to the first joker who happens to fall off the back of the truck.".

Sol Price, who founded Price Club, has died at 93.  But he unfortunately got turned away at the Pearly Gates- didn't have a membership card.  And, no, they wouldn't even give him a tiny sample  

It’s possible that the Dodgers may play the Angels in the World Series. Fans will be searched at the stadium gates for weapons and awful spec scripts.

Patrick Swayze died today at the age of 57.

Swayze was welcomed at the pearly gates by Jennifer Greys career.

Her nose was seen making out with Michael Jacksons nose.

During the first show, Professor Gates will break down Door Number Three.    

Obama has suffered from a sharp drop in support among white voters after criticizing a white policeman's arrest of a black Harvard scholar.  To improve his image with white voters, Obama is going to take up yoga, buy a Prius, and appoint Kenny Chesney as Czar of The Arts.