Jersey Shore" dimwitted diva Snookie, again embarassing her teachers in Marlboro, NY by declaring New Jersey fighting for the "South" during the Civil War. Seems she was thrown off by the word "Civil".

Toyota halts production, sales, and will recal millions of cars due to sticky gas pedals that may cause sudden acceleration.. Funny thing: Toyota owners would have welcomed such a problem in the 1970's.... the SUDDEN ACCELERATION problem that is.... because those cars HAD NONE!

James Cameron's AVATAR has just sailed past James Cameron's TITANIC to become the highest grossing movie of all time, domestically and internationally.

Wait a minute Avatar is not the grossest movie of all times. John Walters movie PINK FLAMINGOS is. It’s suppose to be funny but it’s grotesque, sick and disgusting. If you don’t believe me Google PINK FLAMINGOS.

Oh, hold on. They didn’t say “grossest”, they said “grossing”. SORRY. My Bad.

Rush Limbaugh has pounced on Rahm Emanuel's "retarded" blunder and is using the same offensive term to bludgeon his enemies on the left.

"Our political correct society is acting like some giant insult has taken place by calling a bunch of people who are retards, retards," Limbaugh said on the show.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=In5Pg2RgVVc

Not mine. But funny.

Newly elected Massachusetts Senator Scott Brown says nudity is what got him to where he is now..In politics, the reverse usually happens.

I found a book called "Power of Focus" in my closet today, while looking for something. For arguement sakes, lets call the item I was looking for... porn! So anyways, I have had "The Power of Focus" for several years now and haven't even read the entire first chapter! We are only talking 13 pages here people!! Perhaps the author didn't understand that people that would be reading the book "might" have a problem "focusing"!! So needless to say, NO props to this book or the book's authors for keeping my attention!! However, I did go to the bookstore today to get a book on "motivation"!! WooHoo, I actually managed to pick up a book and start walking toward the register to check out. After skimming through the book, It just wasn't motivating me at all! I have a funny feeling the author was related to "The Power of Focus"! Thank God I wasn't looking for a book on "Depression"!! I probably would have hung myself between the origami isle and Starbuck's stand!! However, if  my day job as a male dancer doesn't pan out I know I can be an author on pretty much anything, because the qualifications to write a book don't seem to be that stringent!!

We've spent the last 10 to 20 years outsourcing jobs all over the world and for the last few years we've been plagued by unemployment in this country.  Does anyone see anything funny in that?

Funny peculiar not funny ha-ha.

I heard that even the unemployment office is being outsourced.

Next we should probably outsource Congress.

 Hang in there.
 
The forest was full of Pine Trees thick as grass with a dirt road that led the fox up the path. The fox was collard by a leash of a chain. If you were to see the fox on a picture 20 feet in width, you would notice the chain of leash extended with no one in sight. The fox was not tired of being held by this chain for he had done it many times before. The fox was strong now and could smell he was on the right path. The fox had just made it up a light incline through the forest on the dirt grassy road.  He knew the holder of his leash was no where in site to be sure.. he had lost sight of the holder of the leash once he had made it around the bend in the road and hurried over the top of the hill.. The fox glanced back to be sure and looked over his right shoulder and all he could see was the leash that was still pulled tight off the ground pulling to the left tight around the bend in the road. The  fox knew this time by instinct his senses were right. As the fox traveled up further through the black forest his paws could feel the dirt and his sensitive smell made him turn to a look again behind. His nose sensed and saw three wild ducks or chickens crossing the path he moments before had passed. The fox said to himself screw them, I could eat them all if I wanted too but he pressed onward. The vibrations were getting to fabricate in his ears and he moved more swiftly towards the humming. All of a sudden the humming of the Queen bee engulfed his whole fox senses. At that moment a gigantic Queen bee appeared before the fox, and at that moment the collar was released from the fox and all the weight of the world and the chain dropped for the first time in years as the Queen bee carried the fox off to a pot of Honey and dropped him in. The honey tasted so good.
Thank you Mister Richards said the man behind the desk. Welcome to our company. Mr. Richards reached out his hand and shook the hand of the owner of the largest clothes manufacturer in the world and said thank you sir for hiring me. As Mr. Richards left the lobby and walked out into the street. He looked up to the Heavens and said “Thank You God, I’m glad that’s over.”
 
Scot Marinick