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NEW YORK-Resident and amateur actor, John Loftin, solidified his
status as a Hollywood Star after attaining his first officially
registered credit on iMDB.
Loftin has been busy racking up
credits in short films, student films, internet series, TV commercials,
one feature film appearance, and as an extra on One Tree Hill for the past year. Shockingly, not one of these inspired performances catapulted Loftin to stardom.
Everything
changed this week for Loftin after conducting the sixth Internet search
of his own name, and was shocked to find he was officially, famous.
The film that cast Loftin as a supporting actor finally registered with
iMDB, and even spelled the actor's name correctly in the credits. For
that he thanks them dearly. "I used every sick and vacation
day of the past year from my career job to chase the impossible. Well
. . . mission accomplished." said Loftin.
Loftin was also the
recent recipient of a "Hometown Hero" award, of which the awards
committee did not contact him to attend their ceremony, but believes
his good fortune will continue indefinitely. Convinced after reaching
this new plateau of success, his career will be fraught with few
snakebites and cactus pricks.
"I've watched my Starmeter rise
400% in a week and fall just as fast. But now that I actually have an
official credit, my Starmeter is headed up, up, and up! If you're one
of those losers without a credit, your Starmeter means jack shit!"
screamed Loftin at reporters.
Loftin is excited the film's
trailer on his iMDB profile features his one spoken line from the
film. No one has yet to add photos of Loftin from the red carpet film
release.
John Loftin iMDB Profile
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 Imelda Marcos wants to offload billions of dollars in frozen assets and hidden gold bullions to "save the world".
The former first lady sent a letter to US President Barack Obama about her desire to use her family fortune that her husband stole from the
Philippines to help stimulate the world economy, lawyer Oliver Lozano told The Star. What she did not tell the President that her husband stealing all that money made the Philippines one of the poorest and most corrupt nations on the planet.
If they Obama agrees she will tell him the secret location of the gold, it is buried somewhere near the
port of
Somalia, marked by an X, between two trees, a hut and a bunch of bullets.
Marcos has invited US First Lady Michelle Obama and Secretary of State Hillary Clinton as guests at her birthday party as well as Batman and Robin. Former dictator Ferdinand Marcos had amassed an estimated $35 billion in alleged ill-gotten wealth.
Picture: Hillary already getting dressed for event. Batman and Robin have declined but the Joker will be attending if he can get a weekend pass from
Gautama
Bay.
.
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