Tennessee has dismissed two freshmen football players charged in an attempted armed robbery. Miami sent them honorary degrees.

The Supreme Court has refused to hear a case by Native Americans who consider the football team's name to be racist. Why don't the Redskins change their name to something more accurate and less offensive like the DC Colored People or the Washington Negroes?

I am glad to see Newsweek using sex to promote the magazine(Sarah Palin cover).  The awful covers of the past were the most unattractive containing the ugliest people.  Now, I hope your highly trained publishing staff takes it to a new level.  Let’s have fold outs of Hillary Clinton, Nancy Pelosi, Molly Ivin ( oops sorry, past away),  and of course Michelle!.  These could be done tastefully…like that Burt Reynolds fold out years ago.  In order to be politically correct, how about Senators Bird, Reed, and maybe even commentators such as Keith Olbermann.  He is always looking for ways to promote himself-look at Sunday Night Football (talk about odd ball-it's like having Bozo in a discussion with scientists on Global Warming). I would add Limbaugh and some others, but they are not good looking enough for your high quality publication.  I suggest sticking to Liberals, The Beautiful People! Why, maybe your editors could win the Nobel Peace prize for Literature using sex.  After all, sex is true peace!   Gene Stray

The Supreme Court won't hear an appeal from a group of Native Americans who think the name of the NFL's Washington Redskins football team is offensive.  The Supreme Court also refused to hear an appeal from a group of Redskins fans who think their team's play is offensive.

Wow, the church must be really desperate for a winning football program at Notre Dame--they're even looking to recruit extra-terrestrials.

Two students claim they were recently pushed by Michigan athletic director Bill Martin. It's never a good sign when your AD has more fight in him than your football team.

10. You see your cousin walking in drunk and drugged out of his mind with a stunning new woman on his arm. He mentions casually she works as a hooker. Your response, “Man, it must suck to have a chick that cheats on you every time she goes to work.”

9. Your cousin and her husband, the newlyweds of the family, are hosting the holiday. Your cousin’s husband mentions that they served the food the night before to their friends and are saving money by doing this. Your thought is, “Your friends are rich snobs. At least they washed their hands.”

8. You and your cousin are watching football when the fat ass mentions he is known as Mr. Triple Team by his prep school football squad. He says it’s because he can tackle three guys at once. Meanwhile you know every time he farts three guys fall down.

7. Your cousins are in from the trailer park and the oldest son of this family has just been released from the psych ward. Apparently he is supporting his illegitimate child by working as a lab test subject. His father also adds this is the best job his son has ever had.

6. During dinner your slut aunt who is cheating on your uncle steps out to call her boyfriend. Your uncle is drunk and depressed and passes out. Their children are crawling under the table biting people’s ankles and getting kicked. Your slut aunt is quick to say, “Careful, they might have diseases. I should know.”

5. At dinner your aunt who cannot deal with the fact her son is gay mentions he got abducted by aliens yet again. She has him show the supposed probes in the back of his head and mentions that she saw the UFOs last night and they are coming back for her son. To protect her she mentions she has her Ouija Board where she plans to channel the spirit of J. Edgar Hoover.

4. During the phase of the meal where people name things they are thankful for your grandfather says, “That I’m so old that if I killed your grandmother they couldn’t send me to prison for too long because I will be dead soon.” And then he passes out.

3. As a family craft you are making turkey’s by tracing your hand. However, your cousin who has been struck by lightning (and survived) three times cannot partake. It’s because he is having a bad reaction to the electrical socket not so far away.

2. You open the bathroom door to pee and turn on the lights. Lo and behold your grandmother is using the bath tub to mix the stuffing.

1. Thanksgiving makes you remember when times are tough you have family. But when you have family, that’s when you need egg nog with plenty of Southern Comfort.

Ticking someone off could get you a ticket in one Michigan City. The Brighton City Council on Thursday approved an ordinance allowing police in the Livingston County community to ticket and fine anyone who is annoying in public "by word of mouth, sign or motions.” The first people fined by the city council were the University of Michigan’s football team. As Brighton City Councilman Peter Murphy said, “They deserve it. I'm annoyed every time I watched them play.”

Police in Indiana say a woman set fire to her ex-boyfriend’s clothing at a self-storage center and caused more than 100,000 dollars in damage. Donna J. Duell was arrested in connection with the fire Wednesday night. Duell told officers she did save one piece of clothing from the inferno. As she stated, I can’t think of anything worse than having to wear the only piece of clothing left, a Detroit Lions football jersey.

 I started a fantasy football team the other day. My starting quarterback is a unicorn.