A local guy is in the process of forming a group to promote breast feeding--for adult men.

   His tentative slogan:  "Human breast milk, a super-nutritious food--and udderly delicious!"

   A defensible viewpoint, to be sure.  Though it does seem an awful lot like taking candy from a baby. 

I went into Mc donalds the other day  and theve got all this mc cafe shit, mc cafe le cafe

im like, really? thats what kids want now?  A fucken fritatta and a latte?

I guess its all just money at the end of the day tho, but i mean couldnt you come up with something better then a fucken cafe? seriously? you are a multi billion dollar company and your idea is to put another food outlet...in your..... food.... outlet? wtf

Personally my idea.....Mcwhore house..im serious,it would work, just dont get confused about where you are,thats all im saying... walk up to the madaam and order a quater pounder with cheese, cause ull end uop with an anorexic chick with thrush sitting on ya face 

What have we done to our kids tho seriously?, things were alot different when i was growing up, Fast food is now healthy, video games now have fucken fitness programmes, have you seen that shit. Wii Fit.got this fucken board that you stand on and it tells you how fat you are...wow, thanks...im glad i bought this game.

Seriously dont buy this game for your girlfriends if you EVER want to get laid again. Here you go honey its fun,stand on this..calculating body mass....Oh wow you got.... the high... score...yaaaaaaaay :s ..the couch?....ok :(. 

President Obama is currently in South Korea.Staffers are having a difficult time translating Seoul food to soul food on the menu. 

The #1 reason people fail on their diet, is simply people get tired of dieting, according to the About.com Health/InsightExpress dieting survey. 40% said they get tired of dieting, while 22% said their diet didn't allow favorite foods and 21% said their diet was too restrictive.  ***MARLAR: Amen to that.  I would’ve been fine on my diet if they’d allowed me to doctor up my Slim Fast with some double-chocolate chunk.

Researchers have found that pigs are brilliant at finding food stashes, and will even follow other pigs that seem to know where the food is.  Reminds me of researchers who are always looking for grant money!

10. You see your cousin walking in drunk and drugged out of his mind with a stunning new woman on his arm. He mentions casually she works as a hooker. Your response, “Man, it must suck to have a chick that cheats on you every time she goes to work.”

9. Your cousin and her husband, the newlyweds of the family, are hosting the holiday. Your cousin’s husband mentions that they served the food the night before to their friends and are saving money by doing this. Your thought is, “Your friends are rich snobs. At least they washed their hands.”

8. You and your cousin are watching football when the fat ass mentions he is known as Mr. Triple Team by his prep school football squad. He says it’s because he can tackle three guys at once. Meanwhile you know every time he farts three guys fall down.

7. Your cousins are in from the trailer park and the oldest son of this family has just been released from the psych ward. Apparently he is supporting his illegitimate child by working as a lab test subject. His father also adds this is the best job his son has ever had.

6. During dinner your slut aunt who is cheating on your uncle steps out to call her boyfriend. Your uncle is drunk and depressed and passes out. Their children are crawling under the table biting people’s ankles and getting kicked. Your slut aunt is quick to say, “Careful, they might have diseases. I should know.”

5. At dinner your aunt who cannot deal with the fact her son is gay mentions he got abducted by aliens yet again. She has him show the supposed probes in the back of his head and mentions that she saw the UFOs last night and they are coming back for her son. To protect her she mentions she has her Ouija Board where she plans to channel the spirit of J. Edgar Hoover.

4. During the phase of the meal where people name things they are thankful for your grandfather says, “That I’m so old that if I killed your grandmother they couldn’t send me to prison for too long because I will be dead soon.” And then he passes out.

3. As a family craft you are making turkey’s by tracing your hand. However, your cousin who has been struck by lightning (and survived) three times cannot partake. It’s because he is having a bad reaction to the electrical socket not so far away.

2. You open the bathroom door to pee and turn on the lights. Lo and behold your grandmother is using the bath tub to mix the stuffing.

1. Thanksgiving makes you remember when times are tough you have family. But when you have family, that’s when you need egg nog with plenty of Southern Comfort.

We know that drinking and driving is a big problem, but what about eating and driving? A man in New Zealand was stopped by the police for driving erratically along a busy road. It turns out that he was attempting to drive and eat Chinese food. With chopsticks in both hands, he was using his knees to steer the car! This type of behavior might not be so uncommon. A new survey says that 8 out of 10 drivers eat while behind the wheel. I do it every day on my way into work.  ***MARLAR: I heard this on the way into work this morning and almost dropped my bowl of Fruit Loops.

I've heard that not even rich people consider themselves to be rich. But I think I've finally found a test to prove that you're rich. If you can afford to EAT GOLD, then you are pretty well off, wouldn't you agree?

A restaurant in Duesseldorf has put gold-covered sausages on its menu. The restaurant owner claims eating gold is healthy. In addition to traditional tomato sauce and curry powder, the sausage comes with a piece of 18 carat leaf gold on its skin and diners at Curry restaurant pay handsomely to get it. How can it be healthy? Well, according to the restaurant manager, "It has been done in Greece for hundreds of years. One of our customers always brought in his own gold and asked us to cover his food with it, that's how we got the idea." The restaurant's manager also suggests ordering the gold-covered sausage for somebody instead of flowers if you're in love. ***MARLAR: Yeah, that'll work. "Baby, I love you so much I'm giving you a long cylindrical meat object wrapped in intestine and covered in metal." 

William Rudd, a 64-year-old retiree from Salem, has collected more than 1,500 prizes including food, gift certificates and other goodies under the state lottery's "Replay" program, which gives losing lottery tickets a second chance to win. Here's just a sampling of his haul: four bottles of maple syrup, 20 pizzas, 33 ice cream cones, 86 cinnamon buns, 92 steakhouse gift certificates, 161 chicken sandwiches, and 484 cups of coffee to wash it all down. Oh, yeah. And a one-month fitness club membership.  ***MARLAR: Well, the bible does say “the last will be first.”