There's a new video game out there which allows players to mix and scratch songs.. It's called DJ Hero and the game controller is a combination turntable / effects mixer.. During game development, the most asked question by teen focus qroups was......"What the hell is a turntable!"..

This same university conducted a similar project on the Clinton presidency.   Of course, Clinton's oral history focused on Monica Lewinsky.

The public has finally gottten bored. For three weeks, all OBIT media will only report on:

carpenters killed by their staple guns

lightning rod installers zapped during thunderstorms

and cheating men having heart attacks while in bed with their lovers. 

Michael Jackson has just signed on as the new Crypt Keeper.Tales will focus on dead celebrities,such as Walt Disney and other famous people that I never think about. 

Strange but true...

I'm sitting in one of the washroom stalls focusing on the number 2 when a voice pops up from the adjacent stall inquiring, "How you doing?"

Odd, I quickly try to dismiss with a smug, "Fine thanks"

Then I'm quickly puzzled by another response of, "What are you up to tonight?"

Awkwardly, I'm trying not to be rude or dismissive so I reply, "Just enjoying the show."

His response dropped my jaw when he asks, "So, how about we get together tonight after the show?"

Damn! There's a zinger... My bold reply, "Listen, no offense but I'm busy and..."

Quickly he cuts me off and states, "Listen babe, can I call you back, some idiot next to me keeps answering my questions."

I started wearing a nicotine eye patch,to curb my cravings for reality television.I kind of think it's working,because now I only focus on the National Enquirer. 

Miko Brando who has been a regular guest on Larry King Live ever since the death of Michael Jackson, will be given his own TV program later this fall called  " Deaf, Dumb, and Blind "  It will be shot live from the Neverland Ranch and hosted by Brando . Miko and his guests will take part in lively discussions about their controversial best friend celebrities .   The main focus of the show will be how they never knew, saw, heard, or felt,  anything strange or unusual about the person they were closely associated with .

McNair's pastor said: "Yes, he was cheating on his wife and 4 sons - Yes, he was probably cheating on his mistress who shot him as well.... but we choose to focus on the positives at a time like this......for instance:  Steve McNair, at least he wasn't involved in dog fighting, or sleeping with kids!"

I think this focus on the doctor is unwarranted.  So what if he practiced medicine for five years as an assistant to Dr. Kevorkian.

While the gay community is good at dishing it out, apparently it can't take any ribbing back.

About a photo shown in the upcoming Bruno movie of a baby sitting in a hot tub where two men are having sex (only two?), GLAAD senior director Rashad Robinson said, "As someone who sat at the back of a focus group audience outside of Los Angeles, I felt they were laughing at us at times."

God forbid gays should be comedy targets like the rest of us! Geez, you'd think if anyone should be OK with being the BUTT of the joke...

I mean, you'd think that if there's anyone who wouldn't be tight-assed about comedy...it's gay people.