Rodell Vereen was sentenced on Wednesday, November 4, to three years in prison after being caught, on video, having sex with a horse.  He admitted to buggery and pleaded guilty, for the second time in two years, to abusing the animal.

In a related story, on Tuesday, November 10, British scientists announced the beginning of a new study on using human DNA in animals!

Do you think the timing of these two news events is just a coincedence?

Women in North Korea are eating more dog meat because of a rumor that it prevents wrinkles.  ***MARLAR: They believe the rumor was started by cats.  (If you want to prevent wrinkles, don't eat the Shar-pei!)

A group of folks who like to stage random and bizarre public events in New York, have struck again to celebrate the anniversary of the invisible-dog leash. And what better way to commemorate a device by having literally hundreds of people take to the streets of New York with invisible dogs? Thousands of people saw the event that still has people talking.  ***MARLAR: Even stranger, everyone refused to clean up the invisible doggie droppings.

Oprah will travel to Copenhagen, Denmark to lobby for new Olympics events: celebrity confessionals, yo-yo dieting, Bonbon lifting and dubious medical advice-giving.

I'm sitting in a bar,remarkably similar to the sports events listed in TV Guide.(Subject to Blackout) 

Sarah Palin says she quit her office to answer a "higher calling"...sigh.

Y'ever feel like you could almost see how a chain of events will come to pass? I like to call it "Writer's Foresight," because sometimes people's lives will fit a certain narrative model almost perfectly. And I'll tell ya - considering this woman has never met an epiphany she couldn't MISS, I do NOT see her personal story ending well.

At the rate she's going, I'd bet anybody $100 she winds up drunk and insane like "Lola" from "Copacabana:" Her name was SArah...she was a MOron...she sported shoulderlengthbrownhair, and a foureyedvacantstare... 

The singer's death left coverage lacking for other noteworthy news events:

1.  Six GOP governors admit to orgy ring based in Madrid, Spain.

2.  Jay Leno admitted to "Hospital for the Morose" in Carlsbad, New Mexico.

3.  Angelina Jolie adopts a village of 189 children. Father Jon Voight now regrets having had sex. Hillary ecstatic. Elbow healing well.

4.  Obama appoints last Russian Czar. Will oversee caviar usage at White House.

5.  McDonald's to introduce RONALD, a new car that runs on fat.

Miss California Carrie Prejean has been stripped of her crown for skipping events while speaking out against gay marriage at unsanctioned appearances. Ironically, assuming the reign of Miss California will be runner-up and wife of Ellen DeGeneres, Portia De Rossi.

www.jerrywolski.com

Category: Writing and Poetry Chaz-izims update Aug 18, 2008 or the Weekly Freaky Speaky Updizzy My Nizzy. "If you're to cool to Holla, then sit still & swalla!" AntiEbonyx: (prn: An-Tee E-bon-icks) 1.Treatment used to rehabilitate caucasians (i.e. whites, Honkies, the Man, Cracka, Wigga, Brady Bunch and Wood) suffering from a severe form of Terets Syndrome in which these individuals uncontrolably speak and act as if they were inter city Afro-American males struggling to survive the daily socio-economic trials and tribulations of being cursed as Black man in the White Devil's Paradise. Most will claim that they grew up with the same hardships and predjudice as any "Homie" today dealing with the reality that the only way up and out of the gutters of thier hoods and projects is by Pimpin, Slangin, Ballin, Hoopin, Rappin, Prison or a Pine Box. So since these infected whites live this life 24/7, Hood Slang is thier native toung. This claim becomes lame just soon as you notice thier waivering conviction falters when thier voice gets soft and a quick glance over the sholder to see if the coast is clear before dropping the "N-Bomb" in public. 10)Triminagen: (prn: Try men again) 1. All natural, non-persciption, inexpensive treatment for lesbians.WARNING: side effects are; loss of breath, sweating, nausia, gagging, sore thoat, inflamed colon, bruised nipples, shaking leg, mod swings ranging from bliss and laughter to guilt and shame, in some cases suiside, can be habit forming, if you become uncontrolably dependent to this treatment call us immediately! Any time, any where. our cracked out responce team is standing by our hot lines ready to give you hands on treatment attacking the situation from all angles, probing all oppertunities, multiple entries if nessisary. Our large staff will work long and hard to ensure that all your needs are met, working as many shifts as nessisary to achive 100% customer satisfaction. We are hard pressed to find a cure so we will go down and rub out all lesbians of the world because together, we can lick this. 11)Here are some fun names to use for prank calls, making reservations or paging people in public. Ivitch Urcaukopft: (prn: I bit your cock off) Juanna Belle Jolla: (prn: Wanna blow ya) Juan Opena: (prn: One up in ya) His older brother Ben Opena: (prn: 'been up in ya) Rick Dees Gentury: (prn like asian: Lick these gently) Ishia Kama-Gazura:(prn like asian:Is she a cum guzzler?) EsQuintin Tarintiseyo: (prn: Squinting tearing tissue, name I would use if I was an annal porn film director) 4:31 PM Speak July 24, 2008 - Thursday Category: Life Here are some "Chaz-izms" that I've come up with. Feel free to use, share comment or simply ignore any of these. 1)Verbal Masterbation:(prn:ver-Ball mas-Ter-Bay-shun)1 .speaking solely for one's own personal satisfaction, 2. mostly people in love with the sound of there own voice. 2)Macholism: (prn:mah-Chow-liz-em)1.the infectious lowering of I.Q. in men when gathered together around women or sporting events. Beer and fried food will accelerate the syndrome instantly which will usually lead to a "pissing contest" then ultimatly a fight. 3)Mattriculate: (prn: My Trick, You Late)1.how a Pimp would address his employee,("Ho" or "bi-atch"), for being tardy. 2."Sir/Maam, you are not on time". 4)Ephelleippy: (prn: F,L,I,P.)1. a form of terret's syndrome that retards a Filipino's abillity to pronounce the letters "F" or "V" properly. 2. this number "75" would be pronounced "seh-Ben-ti Pie-b". ex."I tink da singer Frince is a pagot".

I got new Chaz-izms for you. July 25, 2008 - Friday Current mood: froggy 5)Contemporary: (prn:Con-tem-poor-RAH-ree) 1. To be involved in any illegal or immoral skee-los occasionally for brief periods only. 2. "I'm 100% legit now but I'm behind on my court and probation fees which is why I'm only doin this CON-TEMPORARY like, then I'm out, for good this time". 6)Omnipotent: (prn: Ahm-nip-O-tent) 1. Sterile 2. Unable to impregnate. 3."Bitch, i can't be your baby daddy cuz omnipotent!" 7)Dysentery: (prn: dis-in terr-EE) 1. To mock or disrespect a person named Terry. 2."Yo, why you always be dyssintery?" 8)Monogamy: (prn: Mah-noh-gah-ME) 1. Type of wood used on pimped outsteering wheels and dash boards. 2. "Nothin spells class with a capital "K" other than imported french monogamy wood trim in my S-ka-laid". 12:19 AM Speak July 24, 2008 - Thursday Category: Life Here are some "Chaz-izms" that I've come up with. Feel free to use, share comment or simply ignore any of these. 1)Verbal Masterbation:(prn:ver-Ball mas-Ter-Bay-shun)1 .speaking solely for one's own personal satisfaction, 2. mostly people in love with the sound of there own voice. 2)Macholism: (prn:mah-Chow-liz-em)1.the infectious lowering of I.Q. in men when gathered together around women or sporting events. Beer and fried food will accelerate the syndrome instantly which will usually lead to a "pissing contest" then ultimatly a fight. 3)Mattriculate: (prn: My Trick, You Late)1.how a Pimp would address his employee,("Ho" or "bi-atch"), for being tardy. 2."Sir/Maam, you are not on time". 4)Ephelleippy: (prn: F,L,I,P.)1. a form of terret's syndrome that retards a Filipino's abillity to pronounce the letters "F" or "V" properly. 2. this number "75" would be pronounced "seh-Ben-ti Pie-b". ex."I tink da singer Frince is a pagot".

From my brother-in-law.

Ah, only in America.  A whole new reason to drink....

Heidi is the proprietor of a bar in Detroit.  In order to increase sales, she decides to allow her loyal customers - most of whom are unemployed alcoholics - to drink now but pay later.

She keeps track of the drinks consumed on a ledger (thereby granting the customers loans).

Word gets around about Heidi's drink now pay later marketing strategy and as a result, increasing numbers of customers flood into Heidi's bar and soon she has the largest sale volume for any bar in Detroit.

By providing her customers' freedom from immediate payment demands, Heidi gets no resistence when she substantially increases her prices for wine and beer, the most consumed beverages.

Her sales volume increases massively. 

A young and dynamic vice-president at the local bank recognizes these customer debts as valuable future assets and increases Heidi's borrowing limit.  He sees no reason for undue concern since he has the debts of the alcoholics as collateral.

At the bank's corporate headquarters, expert traders transform these customer loans into DRINKBONDS, ALKIBONDS and PUKEBONDS.

These securities are then traded on security markets worldwide.

Naive investors don't really understand the securities being sold to them as AAA secured bonds are really the debts of unemployed alcoholics.  Nevertheless, their prices continuously climb, and the securities become the top-selling items for some of the nation's leading brokerage houses who collect enormous fees on their sales, pay extravagant bonuses to their sales force, and who in turn purchase exotic sports cars and multimillion dollar condominiums.

One day, although the bond prices are still climbing, a risk manager at the bank (subsequently fired due his negativity), decides that the time has come to demand payment on the debts incurred by the drinkers at Heidi's bar.

Heidi demands payment from her alcoholic patrons, but being unemployed they cannot pay back their drinking debts.

Therefore, Heidi cannot fulfill her loan obligations and claims bankruptcy.

DRINKBOND and ALKIBOND drop in price by 90 %.  PUKEBOND performs better, stabilizing in price after dropping by 80 %.  The decreased bond asset value destroys the banks liquidity and prevents it from issuing new loans.

The suppliers of Heidi's bar, having granted her generous payment extensions and having invested in the securities are faced with writing off her debt and losing over 80% on her bonds.

Her wine supplier claims bankruptcy, her beer supplier is taken over by a competitor, who immediately closes the local plant and lays off 50 workers.

The bank and brokerage houses are saved by the Government following dramatic round-the-clock negotiations by leaders from both political parties.  The funds required for this bailout  are obtained by a tax levied on employed middle-class non-drinkers.

Perfect.