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Search "Elisabeth" returned 7 Jokes
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Mike Lemme
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Kate Gosselin+The View=Death

By: Mike Lemme (C)
Submitted: Aug 27, 2009
Category: Entertainment  Staff Pick!
From Hot Topic

The View

141 Jokes

Kate Gosselin, from the hit TLC show Please Leave America, will soon be a guest host on The View. She will be the most useless and "How are you famous?" co-host since Sherri Shepherd, Elisabeth Hasselback, and Joy Behar. 


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Steve Knowles
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"The View"s Hasselbeck shows off newborn son

By: Steve Knowles (C)
Submitted: Jan 8, 2008
Category: News  
From Hot Topic

Elisabeth Hasselbeck

6 Jokes

New York - Elisabeth Hasselbeck took her newborn son, Taylor Thomas, to work Monday.

In a ratings ploy, one of Rosie O'Donnell's kids bullied Elisabeth's kid.

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Julia Gorin
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Barry Bolshevik Manilow

By: Julia Gorin (C)
Submitted: Sep 21, 2007
Category: Entertainment  Staff Pick!
From Hot Topic

Elisabeth Hasselbeck

6 Jokes

Barry Manilow has either backed out, or was canceled (the more likely scenario), from appearing on "The View" -- because he didn't want Elizabeth Hasselbeck to be among the interviewers. Here's what he posted on his Web site:

I had made a request that I be interviewed by Joy, Barbara or Whoopi, but not Elisabeth Hasselback [sic]. Unfortunately, the show was not willing to accommodate this simple request so I bowed out. It’s really too bad because I’ve always been a big supporter of the show, but I cannot compromise my beliefs.

And apparently, what Manilow believes in is a one-party system. Conservative Elizabeth Hasselbeck, on the other hand, is OK not only with sharing the stage every day with three liberals plus a liberal guest, but look at how graciously she doesn't even discriminate against Jewish fudgepackers:


Not that there's anything wrong with that.

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Julia Gorin
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Sharon Osbourne on The View's Elisabeth Hasselbeck

By: Julia Gorin (C)
Submitted: Jun 21, 2007
Category: Entertainment  
From Hot Topic

Elisabeth Hasselbeck

6 Jokes

In this week's issue of People Magazine, Sharon Osbourne is quoted as saying, "Elisabeth needs a lobotomy! How can she defend the Bush administration? Being pregant doesn't [screw] with your head that much."

But Sharon, if Elisabeth gets a labotomy, she'll think like you.

(She might even dump her NFL husband for a bird-head eater.)

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Keith Alberstadt
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Whale story

By: Keith Alberstadt (C)
Submitted: May 24, 2007
Category: Entertainment  
From Hot Topic

Rosie O'Donnell

69 Jokes

In California, the mother whale that has garnered so much attention showed signs of distress this week. But this time, Elisabeth Hasselbeck stood up to Rosie, and The View continues to inexplicably be newsworthy.

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DC BENNY
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Viewmaster

By: DC BENNY (C)
Submitted: Mar 6, 2007
Category: Entertainment  Staff Pick!
From Hot Topic

Elisabeth Hasselbeck

6 Jokes

Rosie O'Donnell got into a scrape with fellow "View" motormouth Elisabeth Hasselbeck on the show this week.

Hasselbeck, who is a conservative, stated that "It's okay if the "gubbernmint" wants to listen in on your phone conversations," at which time Rosie blabbed loud and non-stop for over 7 hours straight.

A male member of the audience who had mistakenly wandered in, listened to Rosie talk for 2 minutes and then shot himself in the head.

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Stan Silliman
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In a related matter

By: Stan Silliman (C)
Submitted: Oct 24, 2006
Category: Entertainment  
From Hot Topic

Rosie O'Donnell

69 Jokes

Seattle Seahawk quarterback Matt Hasselbeck is out three weeks with a knee strain.

In a related matter, sister-in-law and View host Elisabeth Hasselbeck has been verbally dressed down by co-host Joy Behar for one of her insipid, wrong-headed and just plain rightwingish remarks.

In a related matter, Joy Behar is bitch slapped by The View co-host Rosie O'Donnell. When asked why, Rosie replied "No reason. I just love bitch slapping."

In a related matter, Chris O'Donnell's veterinarian character from Gray's Anatomy shoots Lasix into Patrick Dempsey's character which causes Dr. McDreamy to quote "piss like a race horse" during a delicate neurological operation.

When asked why he shot up Dr. McDreamy, O'Donnell replied he was feeling low as a Seahawk's fan and despondent because Matt Hasselbeck had been on his fantasy football team.

 


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