...the New York Mets today released their 2009 season highlights DVD...the DVD was 90 minutes long with nothing on it.  

Have you ever noticed how Chinese restaurants use outdated stereotypes like "China Dragon" and "China Panda"? Why not use more modern stereotypes like "China Lead Toy,""China DVD Counterfeiter" and "China Astrophysicist"?

A Massachusetts postal worker has confessed to stealing more than 30,000 Netflix DVDs.

The postman is now facing a prison sentence, during which, he will have as many dicks as he wants, delivered directly to his box, for only $20 a month.

The Russian submarines cruising off the U.S. east coast are looking for the best deal in the "Cash for Clunkers' program.

The United States State Dept. secretly worked out the ransom demands of  Kim Jong-IL for the release of Laura Ling and Euna Lee . The next 8 episodes of  " The Simple Life " will be filmed in North Korea . Highlights of some shows include, - Paris and Nicole help Reprocess nuclear fuel rods into enriched uranium ,  Assemble Taeodong-2 long range missles , Round-up many starving refugees fleeing into China , Learn how to make counterfeit $50 dollar bills with simple inkjet printers  , Unload unstable ammunition from ancient railway box cars , Patrol the DMZ with unfriendly boarder guards , Direct traffic in that nations capital's busiest streets  , Make a feeble attempt to sneak bombs aboard a South Korean airliner . The show's finale ends with the girls discovering Kim's gigantic porno stash and sex toy collection .  Nicole hands a very familiar looking dvd over to Hilton and shouts , " You're in this one too Paris ! "   Our Dear Leader's been a very naughty boy too, as Paris gets her last licks in,  "THAT'S HOT !   

A Northern California elementary school teacher sent her students home for the summer with a video of class memories, only the DVD included six seconds of her having sex on a couch.  Even more embarrassing, she was having sex with one of her students.

 "I'll take 60 copies of Off The Wall, 80 copies of Thriller, 80 copies of Bad, 100 copies of Moonwalker on DVD...etc."

Randy "Macho Man" Savage releases a DVD package of his most famous matches,and a Slim Jim factory explodes on the same day.Coincidence?Oooh,yeah!

A Burbank family is suing the Walt Disney Company, claiming its 1957 air conditioning system released toxins that migrated into nearby residential areas and contaminated drinking water, resulting in death. Disney stated they have not released toxins since 1957, however, in 2010, ‘The Toxins’ will be released for a limited time only on a 3 Disc Special Edition DVD.