In an interview with “Good Morning America” on Thursday, singer Rihanna discussed domestic violence and her relationship with Chris Brown, saying: “Forget about love… Love is so blind.”

Yeah it is! Especially when your eyes are black and blue and swollen shut! 

Vets and scientists have been left baffled as three bespectacled bears that live at a zoo in Leipzig, Germany have suddenly and inexplicably gone bald.

Upon hearing the troubling news, Andre Agassi immediately donated all his wigs to the chrome-domed creatures. 

In Iowa City, Iowa, a 54-year-old man has been charged with assault after getting into a broom fight with a cleaning woman. The problems began when the guy was awakened early in the morning by a woman cleaning the house. After yelling at her to keep quiet, an argument began which escalated into a fight with the guy allegedly pushing the woman and hitting her with a broom handle, causing minor cuts. So the cleaning woman returned fire by grabbing her own broom to defend herself, and then struck her attacker on the head! But police concluded that it was the guy who was the primary aggressor in the assault so he was charged with domestic abuse assault without intent, causing injury. (The Gazette)  ***MARLAR: Ironically, it all began when the woman flew off the handle after the guy called her a witch.

Musician Moby has donated 100% of the proceeds from his California concerts to domestic violence shelters that had lost state funding.

Sounds like a good cause… Too bad no one listens to Moby anymore. (What's 100% of nothing?)

written by mr.j 2009 (c)

Honestly, when did mouth-breathing-barbaric-louses use the computer so
much that we make Bill Gates look like an Amish Ted Kaczynski?

Look, this pixilated intellectual prism is populated by a parade of
texting, tweeting, twittering, bulletins, blogs, blurbs, black
berries, black boards, e-mails, and g-mails.

For Christ's sake, this human collective's blindly acquisitive nature
of asinine antics has elicited the intrusive perpetuation of the term
'login' more than Paul Bunion at a Lumber Jack Convention.

Listen folks, nowadays the cyberspace-Stargate has reconfigured the
molecular structure of the basic rules of human discourse.

What I'm saying is, banality of banter flourishes like a Blue Angel
soaring through social-stratospheric-chat-fests and caroming off
intergalactic solar plexuses of vastly vacant headed vernacular.

Truth be told, acronyms have stormed the beaches of conversations
resonating from the deepest part of my skull to the pillars of
Hercules to the café at the fucking Thunder Dome okay.

Face it, sump-sucking conversations orchestrate more mouse clicks than
when Mickey tap danced while speaking Ethiopian with a pocket full of
Tic Tacs.

I see ads on the subway now addressing the crisis of gay domestic violence. Two guys beating on each other used to be called an even match, but now it's domestic violence. Reminds me of that gay domestic dispute between Bruce Lee and Chuck Norris...

First case of domestic violence/gay bashing in Iowa reported shortly thereafter.

A 3 year old Tarantula has successfully undergone the removal of a large tumor from it's abdomen that rather remarkably resembled a young girl.

 In Las Vegas, due to the faltering economy the Kardashian sisters were unable to draw in sold-out crowds to their own events. Alas, Kim Kardashian's posterior--which is now bigger than the Astrodome and has housed just as many blacks--will have to work part-time until things pick up.

MMA fighter Justin Eilers was killed in a domestic dispute, marking the third such death in MMA.  This proves what boxers have long since known: fighting at home is not always an advantage.