A Democratic senator from Arkansas is not sure if she'll vote for the health care bill because she wants to make sure that it's good for the people in her state.  I say, "Vote for the bill.  We'll fly all 7 people in your state to our New York doctors whenever they're sick!."

LeBron James says he hasn't ruled out signing a contract with the Knicks. And doctors have not ruled out brain lesions.

Doctors have always assumed that both human ears were basically the same. But a UCLA study of babies may change a lot of assumptions about the way the brain works, because it found that the right ear is better at picking up speech-like sounds, while the left ear is better at processing music. ***MARLAR: So one ear is for talking and one is for music...Which ear does rap go into?

Michelle Mack has turned medical thinking upside down. Born with only half a brain, Mack can speak normally, graduated from high school and has an uncanny knack for dates. At 27, doctors determined that the right side of her brain had essentially rewired itself to make up for function that was likely lost during a pre-birth stroke.   ***MARLAR: Jessica Simpson is said to be encouraged by the news.

Barack Obama on Monday filled the Rose Garden with doctors supportive of his health care overhaul.  No wonder I had no trouble getting a tee time.   

If President Obama's health care plan goes through, this country could face a shortage of doctors and would have to add another 40,000 just to keep up with the demand. The good news, fewer lawyers.

Is Coca-Cola an effective form of birth control? Does rectal message cure hiccups?

Scientists who have devoted their research (and sadly, their lives) to these burning questions are converging on Harvard University for the 2009 Ig Nobel Prizes, an annual tongue-in-cheek tribute to studies that “cannot or should not be reproduced”.

Past winners of the illustrious award, include:

--Dr. Francis Fesmire, for a paper he wrote called “Termination of Intractable Hiccups with Digital Rectal Massage”.

--Ellen Kleist and Harold Moi, for the cautionary medical report “Transmission of Gonorrhea Through an Inflatable Doll”.

--Three doctors at a Navy hospital in San Diego, for research into “Acute Management of the Zipper-Entrapped Penis”.

By all accounts, the 2009 Ig Nobels are shaping up to be a fierce competition, with numerous projects worthy of taking home the top prize.

Among the favorites to win:

--Jon Gosselin, for a paper he wrote called “Marrying a Bitch Results in Birth of 8 Kids”. 

--Kanye West, for his research into “The Boundless Limits of the Celebrity Ego”.

--Thirty-seven doctors, for their study entitled “How in the Hell is Amy Winehouse Still Alive?” 

Doctors writing in the Archives of Surgery say their research suggests that people who have been drinking have less brain damage and are less likely to die than those who are sober when they are injured in an accident.

Apparently, getting retarded keeps you from becoming retarded. Now that’s advice from a doctor I’ll actually listen to. “Why yes, officer, I have been drinking... Doctor’s orders!”

The woman who inspired the Beatles song "Lucy In The Sky With Diamonds" passed away after a long battle with Lupus...in the sickbed, with doctors.

He's doing much better today.   In fact, doctors have given him the OK to host Monday's Tonight Show.