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john G
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redneck halloween

By: john G (C)
Submitted: Jan 27, 2010
Category: Weird  
From Hot Topic

Halloween

73 Jokes  4 Videos

I used to live in a redneck town, so for halloween we had to visit a haunted trailer. I once saw a baby ghost wearing a dirty diaper.


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Terry Tyller
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Dirty Shorts

By: Terry Tyller (M)
Submitted: Jan 25, 2010
Category: Weird  
From Hot Topic

Cop

1506 Jokes  17 Videos

Osceola County sheriff’s deputies found a 12 foot anaconda they believe is responsible for a number of missing geese, chickens and ducks. The snake was found Wednesday during a mounted-patrol training exercise. The deputy in training examined a storm grate and saw the snake. The snake was taken to the Reptile World Serpentarium. The deputy was dropped off at local dry cleaner to have his shorts cleaned.


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SillyWilly
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Male Prostitutes? Cum on its Hard to believe it took so Long

By: SillyWilly  (M)
Submitted: Jan 24, 2010
Category: Weird  Staff Pick!
From Hot Topic

Nevada

193 Jokes

Male Prostitutes? Cum on its Hard to believe it took so Long

As you all have probably heard Nevada has now given approval for the first male prostitute. His “professional” name is “Marcus” and he wants to make this his living as a gigolo not a prostitute.

The difference is in his presentation. As a gigolo for a $100 he’ll offer the client conversation, companionship and romance. For $200 he’ll offer passion, love and sex. For $300 he’ll offer hard-core, down and dirty sex.

As a prostitute he’ll slap them around, have them perform on him, take all their money and then throw them out.

 


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missy wilson
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Peep this

By: missy wilson (C)
Submitted: Jan 11, 2010
Category: Entertainment  
From Hot Topic

Maine

66 Jokes  4 Videos

I read an article talking about why men shy away from getting married.

After analyzing the information, I've gained a little bit better understanding

of the reasons. I realize that men want to enjoy the single life as long as they can

but I didn't realize that meant spending inordinate amounts of time at my crib

, underneath my heat and not paying half of the heating bill. I know that men

like to remain single, in hopes of one day meeting the perfect mate but let's face

it- Janet is with Jermaine Dupree now, guys. Many men desire to own a house

before they tie the knot, and guys, there is no quicker way to do that than

having two inomes going into a large purchase. And i know my kids might scare

a man away but what's wrong with the pitter-patter of little feet?

The little one may bite but she has all her shots. Everybody wants to claim my

kids around tax season, so why can't they claim them all year? People are

some-timesy. Men complain about too much compromising change coming

along with marriage. I myself, do not require change. I just like to have fun

with my man, but if he wishes to leave dirty socks on the bathroom floor

and he doesn't like change, then perhaps I should just leave the socks down

there. If I picked them up, I'd be changing something and i wouldn't want to

alter anything because that would mean change.

 

 


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Barney James
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Tourette's Wife

By: Barney James (M)
Submitted: Jan 8, 2010
Category: Weird  
From Hot Topic

Marriage

1575 Jokes  26 Videos

I was talking to a woman the other day about her husband who has Tourettes. She told me most people don't believe her, but her love life is actually quite fantastic. I said, "really? Why's that?" She said, "I just love the way he talks dirty to me."


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DARREN MARLAR
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Bomb Sniffing Dogs Fail in Philly

By: DARREN MARLAR (C)
Submitted: Jan 8, 2010
Category: News  Staff Pick!
From Hot Topic

Philadelphia

87 Jokes  4 Videos

Three bomb-sniffing dogs at Philadelphia International Airport failed recent tests, and Congressman Robert Brady says it’s ridiculous and the dogs should be replaced.  ***MARLAR: Really? How about YOU try telling the difference in smell between dirty bombs and airline travelers, Congressman. 


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Rick Gilstrap
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New Sponsor for Tiger Woods!

By: Rick Gilstrap (C)
Submitted: Dec 31, 2009
Category: Sports  
From Hot Topic

Tiger Woods

874 Jokes  9 Videos

New Sponsor for Tiger Woods!

After losing sponsor after sponsor, Tiger has his first new sponsor ‘Dirty Dick’s Crab House’! 


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DARREN MARLAR
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Get Dirty For Your Health

By: DARREN MARLAR (C)
Submitted: Dec 26, 2009
Category: News  
From Hot Topic

Parents

1321 Jokes  24 Videos

Doctors are saying a child's immunity system can actually be strengthened by exposing them to a little dirt.  ***MARLAR: That’s why my parents gave me a subscription to the National Enquirer.


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Daryl Gazey
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Tiger says...."They're GRRRRRRRREAT!!

By: Daryl Gazey (C)
Submitted: Dec 17, 2009
Category: Sports  Staff Pick!
From Hot Topic

Tiger Woods

874 Jokes  9 Videos

Tiger says....

The Associated Press (AP) announced this week that Tiger Woods has been named the 'athlete of the decade'. 

Concurrent to this news, Tiger was also recognized for his time management skills by dirtyrottenscoundrels.com

In light of the recent news, Nike has announced their newest campaign entitled, "Just Do Me"

Tiger was on the 18th ho at the time of the news release and unavailable for comment

 


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The Skandles
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Parody-Rihanna,Snoop & Biggie! The Elf that Jacked Christmas

By: The Skandles (C)
Submitted: Dec 13, 2009
Category: MP3  
From Hot Topic

Rihanna

24 Jokes



(Will E's rap)

workin' fo da Cracka Kringle gets me faded
9-5 nogs only keeps me jaded
another sleigh filled and my soul is traded
fo little toy trains and socks brocaded

doin' time fo life in da f*****n' north pole
opressed, repressed, doin' what I'm told
I'm sick of dis **** and dis f*****n' cold
gonna **** st nick in his f*****n' north hole

(chorus)
elfomatic
automatic
gangstatic
pimpomatic

elfomatic
automatic
gangstatic
pimpomatic

something is going down tonight
santa won't be around tonight
don't whack it's gonna be alright
santa's sleigh is gonna make its flight
(end chorus)

with little willie elf bustin' at the wheel
keepin' Rudolph on the take, gonna keep it real
flyin' high all night in santa's jacked-mobile
with two bitches and a ho and my sex appeal

slippin' down the chimneys goin' shack to shack
my hand on my nine and santa's sack on my back
spreadin' cream for my homies while I'm nippin' Jack
put my finger to my nose and I be makin' tracks

(chorus)
elfomatic
automatic
gangstatic
pimpomatic

elfomatic
automatic
gangstatic
pimpomatic

something is going down tonight
santa won't be around tonight
don't whack it's gonna be alright
santa's sleigh is gonna make its flight
(end chorus)

ditched the sleigh, ganked an Escalade
with an eight track by The Skandles playing Robot Maid
riding dirty in da hood like my old school days
pimp hand to da hos! Bitches better pay

jingle bells, jingle bells, jingle all the way
cappin' santa in the **** made Will E's holiday

(Santa Clause rap)

Ho Ho Ho My name is Santa Clause
and I'm still the boss,
the original sauce
the candy cane daddy,
the jelly belly fatty
Biggie Kris Kringle
the master of the jingle

well this little elf **** been jackin' my style
bust a cap in my **** like a naughty pedophile
he's a poser, a loser, a good fo nuttin' boozer
so listen up kiddies while I throw him in my cruiser:

So, this is da end of his holiday charade, tirade, betrayed,
gangsta raid, imposter escapade,
'cause Santa don't get played!

he's a low down Christmas cookie Keebler freak
his ride is chic, but his plan is weak
tic toc, he forgot,
here's a shock:

I'm the motha f****n' pimp who owns this block!

(chorus)
elfomatic
automatic
gangstatic
pimpomatic

elfomatic
automatic
gangstatic
pimpomatic

something is going down tonight
santa won't be around tonight
don't whack it's gonna be alright
santa's sleigh is gonna make its flight
(repeat chorus)

You can buy a censored or uncensored version of this song at http://indiestore.7digital.com/theskandles

 

 


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