Two Brooklyn men have been arrested and charged with trying to modernize an Al- Qaeda cell.  The two bought digital watches, encryption software, and installed wall-to-wall carpeting in their cave.   

I understand that Michael Jackson might be digitally inserted into the new We Are The World video.I'm sure Michael was quite familiar with inserting his digits. 

So in 2015,  I guess we can anticipate a digitally updated photo of  Tiger Woods

(Will E's rap)

workin' fo da Cracka Kringle gets me faded
9-5 nogs only keeps me jaded
another sleigh filled and my soul is traded
fo little toy trains and socks brocaded

doin' time fo life in da f*****n' north pole
opressed, repressed, doin' what I'm told
I'm sick of dis **** and dis f*****n' cold
gonna **** st nick in his f*****n' north hole

(chorus)
elfomatic
automatic
gangstatic
pimpomatic

elfomatic
automatic
gangstatic
pimpomatic

with little willie elf bustin' at the wheel
keepin' Rudolph on the take, gonna keep it real
flyin' high all night in santa's jacked-mobile
with two bitches and a ho and my sex appeal

slippin' down the chimneys goin' shack to shack
my hand on my nine and santa's sack on my back
spreadin' cream for my homies while I'm nippin' Jack
put my finger to my nose and I be makin' tracks

(chorus)
elfomatic
automatic
gangstatic
pimpomatic

elfomatic
automatic
gangstatic
pimpomatic

something is going down tonight
santa won't be around tonight
don't whack it's gonna be alright
santa's sleigh is gonna make its flight
(end chorus)

ditched the sleigh, ganked an Escalade
with an eight track by The Skandles playing Robot Maid
riding dirty in da hood like my old school days
pimp hand to da hos! Bitches better pay

jingle bells, jingle bells, jingle all the way
cappin' santa in the **** made Will E's holiday

(Santa Clause rap)

Ho Ho Ho My name is Santa Clause
and I'm still the boss,
the original sauce
the candy cane daddy,
the jelly belly fatty
Biggie Kris Kringle
the master of the jingle

well this little elf **** been jackin' my style
bust a cap in my **** like a naughty pedophile
he's a poser, a loser, a good fo nuttin' boozer
so listen up kiddies while I throw him in my cruiser:

So, this is da end of his holiday charade, tirade, betrayed,
gangsta raid, imposter escapade,
'cause Santa don't get played!

he's a low down Christmas cookie Keebler freak
his ride is chic, but his plan is weak
tic toc, he forgot,
here's a shock:

I'm the motha f****n' pimp who owns this block!

(chorus)
elfomatic
automatic
gangstatic
pimpomatic

elfomatic
automatic
gangstatic
pimpomatic

something is going down tonight
santa won't be around tonight
don't whack it's gonna be alright
santa's sleigh is gonna make its flight
(repeat chorus)

You can buy a censored or uncensored version of this song at http://indiestore.7digital.com/theskandles

Footprints Filmworks Foundation(FFF) Investment Holdings:
Page 1
--FF News—Footprints Filmworks—January 2010—December 2014—Todays Times—Shareholders--
Thank you for receiving previous correspondence with Footprints Filmworks. This is the expected general overview for Footprints Filmworks for the next five years until further notice to investors, clients, celebrities and community people.
Footprints Filmworks is an investment company that invests in internet media, print media, text media, film and distribution. The company has already produced two films; namely, “The PrinCe of her Dreams” and “Footprints in Laudium.” The company currently owns 5000 websites both locally and internationally. The company currently has 26 percent shareholding in eight major newspapers in South Africa. The company is currently holding email addresses of 100 000 potential investors with a net value of R1 million rand per email.
Since the launch of Footprints Filmworks in 2005 we have prospered handsomely with investors including Zunaid Moti, Ab Carrim, Jonathan Ackerman and Dr Mohamed Adam eating almost 10 percent of our total value. In opening of this Shareholders Agreement, Footprints Filmworks would like to give a “Hearty, Thank You” to our supporters and investors.
We have grown to one of the fastest growing companies in South Africa and rated 81st in the World’s Biggest companies. Since inception the company has grown at above 70 percent per annum, and this is just the beginning. Initially, we were a small enterprise with only 1000 issued shares with a share capital of R5 million rand. Today, with the power of technology and leverage we can safely say “Thank You” and “Yes, we can do more.”
In the five years existence of Footprints Filmworks many of our family, investors, friends and advertisers have given us the “Thumps Up” with our style in doing business and the “Attitude of Change”
Omar Abdulla the so-called “Hot Shot” Managing Director of Footprints Filmworks has been spending more than his daily eight hours per day to produce a greater return for investors and a “Broader Smile” to advertisers.
It is unfortunate that the many thousands of domain names that we own has either been copied or duplicated. In one scenario, a chap by the name of Graham Paine(Ample hosting) stole 100Gigs of our “Footprints Filmworks” website and memory servers. Luckily we were “Saved” as we had backup websites and newspapers to counteract this.
Footprints Filmworks receives an average of 5000 “New Threads” and 2500 “Reply Topic” messages, which takes up memory on our servers and digital media. On average this daily posting of messages costs us R5 per message. To date, we have more than one million messages on our “Bulletin Boards.”

Footprints Filmworks—FF News—January 2010—December 2014—Todays Times—Shareholders
Page 2
The FF Bulletin Boards that was created by Web Wise Solutions solely belongs to Footprints Filmworks. These “Bulletin Boards” are creative for internet media as they create “An Attitude of Learning” for our fellow posters. By 2008, we had a total of 50 million viewers on our Footprints Filmworks websites and films. We do however; aim to reach 100 million viewers by End December 2013.
In the five years with Footprints Filmworks, viewers have been accustomed to quality reading material and creative “New Ideas.” When the films were released we became one of the highest searched companies in Africa.
Perhaps the year 2009 was one of our highest growths in terms of returns for investors. If an investor invested R25000.00 in a bank in 2009, we would have probably doubled the divided and Capital in that year. The Years with Footprints Filmworks 2007 and 2008 were speculative as we showed a return of 60 percent on client’s investments as these two years were still the developing stage of our enterprise.
Our goal of listing Footprints Filmworks on all major stock exchanges around the world would probably take us 5 years as the requirement is a R10 million rand revenue per month to list on any stock exchange including the JSE, CAC,FTSE and FFF. Our goal of listing Footprints Filmworks will take course in 2014.
In due course our initial share price of R8000.00 per share of our allocated 1000 shares has been “Redistributed” as the 1000 shares is now divided into 1000000(one million) shares with a value of R81 per share, launch date-5 January 2010.
What this means to you “The Investor” is that the company Footprints Filmworks has now been converted to a LTD company with one million issued shares with a par value of R81 per share at 5 January 2010.
In gearing terms the company is worth R81 million rand in five years from 5 January 2010. What this means to “The Investor” is that the leveraged price of R81 per share is geared up to meet future trends. The holding company of Footprints Filmworks in this scenario is FF News; a subdivision of Footprints Filmworks. Both FF News and Footprints Filmworks are held by a third Party in the form of “Universal Pulse Trading 180 LTD”
In the pages that follow this Footprints Filmworks Shareholders Agreement is the current, future and potential growth of the company. In this scenario, you our advertisers are referred to as “The Investor.”
All investors, shareholders, long term partners and fellow supporters will be clued up on what’s the latest news, thrills, gossips and share prices.
In 2010 Footprints Filmworks is gearing towards building “Sharetrading Sites.” Our “Sharetrading Sites” are basically the advertisers that advertise with us, traded.

Footprints Filmworks—FF News—January 2010—December 2014—Todays Times—Shareholders—
Page 3
What this means to you “The Investor” is that your company, example, Capital Soaps, can be listed and traded by our investors to generate a profit or a loss. This is more for “fun” as everybody knows “Easy come, easy go.”
Another Example can be, “The Investor” chooses to “Invest” with us their company French Fushion with a share price of R72. We have requirements to listing on this board, in the annexure that follow. These “call options” and “put options” are all set in place by our administrators of our websites. Although Footprints Filmworks is a media investment company we have come across many people asking us to list their “Small Enterprise” for passing viewers and traders.
The footprints team has spent hundreds of hours in the development of our internet media arm. Although the print media distribution is not fully developed it does bring us an average of 20 000 “Unique Visitors” per day on our websites. Footprintsfilmworks.com and Omarabdulla.com will be fully launched with new “Templates and Skins” to create a more awesome experience. Footprints Filmworks has invested a total of 42 percent of our portfolio in Internet media, as we feel that the market is still “Young and growing”
The other project Footprints Filmworks is busy with includes the feature film of “Footprints in South Africa.” “Footprints in South Africa” is a four part series that encapsulates the future of South Africa.”Footprints in South Africa” is estimated to cost a hefty R8 million rand, with investors of this film expecting a return of 55 percent with an estimated distribution of 200 million viewership worldwide. “Footprints in South Africa” is estimated to be released in late 2010. “Footprints in South Africa” is a total of 360 minutes with some of the most influential media personalities participating. “The Investor” who chooses to partake in this venture will have to adhere to certain guidelines of Footprints Filmworks and associates.
Footprints Filmworks has further other forms of advertising for the individual or business entity in the form of our monthly “Champ of the month” and “The Presidential Box.” Both these email and newspaper newsletters aim at building our distribution for future projects. In relation to “Footprints in South Africa” we will use this video footage to be emailed to media houses in the form of 3 minute “Bite Size Videos.”
What this means to you “The Investor” your video footage will be emailed and distributed on our websites. “Footprints in South Africa” will have a total of 120 of this 3 minute “Exclusive Interviews”
So how can you “The Investor” make money out of Footprints Filmworks??
Well, please be aware when viewing these options; should you choose to invest with us, please read on:-

Footprints Filmworks—FF News—January 2010—December 2014—Todays Times—Shareholders—
Page 4
Option 1: “The Investor”
1. Minimum Investment of R25000.00-----Maximum Investment—R49000.00
2. Allocated shares of 500(cost price of R48 per share) =R24000.00 worth of FFF Shares. If you “The Investor” invest R35000.00 you would still receive the same amount of shares of 500@R48.00 per share.
3. “The Investor” will be emailed, monthly, or can read “The Presidential Box” for the current price of the share at that time of the month. “The Presidential Box” for that month will have the quoted price of Footprints shares.
4. 100 percent of Capital Guaranteed. NO COMMISSIONS TO Brokers of Footprints Filmworks.
5. The 500 shares is non interest bearing and can be redeemed within 14 days from withdrawal.
6. “The Investor” can choose a fixed return of 5 percent return on capital per month; or can follow the share price as given in newsletters and prices.
7. Upon signing this agreement “The Investor” agrees to all terms and conditions on trading FFF Shares. The holder of “The Investor” is always a buy on Footprints Shares.
8. “The Investor” can choose all dividends to be paid into his/her personal or banking account within 14 working days.
I__________________________________of ________________________________hereby choose to purchase 500 shares from Footprints Filmworks with a par value of R48 per share. The amount is payable to___________________________________. I hereby agree to the above mentioned terms and conditions. The above dividend is____________. I cannot cash my shares at R81 on opening day of shares on 5 January 2010. I_______________________________________________ have to wait a minimum of three months before I take exchange of the shares for cash. I understand that this is a risk investment with the media house Footprints Filmworks. All withdrawals must be deposited in the following bank account________________________________________________.
Client Investment with Footprints Filmworks:_______________________________________________.
Client ID:_______________________________________________________.
Client Risk Profile: (Please tick)
Slow Medium Aggressive Go big
Client email address:____________________________________________________
Client Signature:_______________________________________________________
Client Motto:__________________________________________________________
Client Preferred way of contact:______________________________________________
Footprints Filmworks—FF News—January 2010—December 2014—Todays Times—Shareholders—
Page 5
Option 2: “The Phantom Menace”
1. Minimum Investment of R50.000------Maximum Investment—R99000
2. Allocated shares of 1450(cost price of R42.50 per share)= R61,625.00 worth of FFF Shares. If you “The Phantom Menace” invest R75000.00 you would still receive the same amount of shares of 1450@R42.50 per share.
3. “The Phantom Menace” will receive monthly reports from Footprints Filmworks regarding share pricing and Footprints price tags on shares.
4. Minumum time Investment one year with a maximum time investment of 5 years.
5. Commissions payable to Introducing Broker by Footprints Filmworks. R5500. Paid directly to Introducing Broker. The Introducing Broker is paid by Footprints Filmworks.
6. 80 percent Capital Guaranteed.
7. “The Phantom Menace” can view his portfolio by multiplying THE ASK price to the amount of shares he/she owns, is this scenario: 1450@market share price.
8. The minimum amount the share can move is 0.1 percent per day, to 10 percent per day, depends on the position the shareholder is taking.

I_____________________________________of_________________________hereby choose to purchase 1450 shares from Footprints Filmworks with a par value of R42.50 per share. The amount is payable to__________________________________. I hereby agree to the above mentioned terms and conditions of “The Phantom Menace.” The above dividend is________________________. I choose to “Buy” or “Sell” Footprints Shares.(Please tick). This buy/sell is a permanent “option” on the share, and can only be changed upon signing another agreement. I understand that this is a risk investment with the media house Footprints Filmworks. All withdrawals must be submitted to the following bank account:______________________________________________.

Client Investment with Footprints Filmworks__________________________
Client OPTION: BUY SELL

Client ID:____________________________________________
Client Risk Profile:

SLOW MEDIUM Aggressive GO BIG

Client Email Address:___________________________________
Client Signature:_______________________________________
Client Personal Interest__________________________________

Footprints Filmworks—FF News—January 2010—January 2014—Todays Times—Shareholders—
Page 6
Option 3: “The Bully Investor”
1. Minimum Investment of R100.000----Maximum Investment R249.000.00
2. Allocated shares of 2300(cost price of R50 per share)=R115,000.00 worth of FFF Shares. If you “The Bully Investor” invest R150.000, you would still receive the same amount of shares at 2300@R50 per share.
3. “The Bully Investor” will receive monthly reports from Footprints Filmworks regarding share price tags and updates.
4. 70 percent of Capital Guaranteed.
5. Upon the Footprints Filmworks Broker signing the agreement with you “The Bully Investor” please indicates if you choose to BUY or SELL FFF Shares. (Please read Annexure in following Footprints Pages.)Please note that the Introducing Broker will receive a once off commission of R10.000 for “Option 3.” Payable by Footprints Filmworks.
6. Minimum time investment of one year-ten years. Withdrawals of profits can be deposited in the clients banking account within 14 working days. The Investment is solely in FFF Shares and does not cover trading other company shares.
7. “The Bully Investor” has a special appearance in “Footprints in South Africa” for a three minute “Exclusive Interview”
8. “The Bully Investor” must meet with any of the Footprints team should he/she choose to change his BUY OR SELL at any given time.

I________________________________________________________of___________________ hereby choose to purchase 2300 FFF Shares at a value of R50 per share. The amount is payable to_______________________. I hereby agree to the terms and conditions of “The Bully Investor.” The above dividend is________________________.I choose to BUY /SELL Footprints Shares.(please tick). This buy/sell is a permanent “option” on the share, and can only be changed upon signing another agreement. I understand that this is a risk investment with Footprints Filmworks. All withdrawals must be submitted to the following bank account:_________________.

Client Investment amount with Footprints Filmworks:___________________________________
Client Option: BUY SELL
Client ID:__________________________________________________________________
Client Risk Profile:
Medium Aggressive GO Big I AM NUTS
Client Signature:____________________________________________
Footprints Filmworks—FF News—January2010—December2014—Todays Times—Shareholders—
Page 7
Option 4: “The White Horse”
1. Minimum Investment R250 000.00-----Maximum Investment R999 999.00---
2. Allocated shares of 10 000@R200 per share of Foootprints Filmworks.( FFF). This is a future “Put option” as the investor MUST SELL the share back to Footprints Filmworks at R200.00 per share in December 2014. This means that the holder of “The White Horse” is worth R2 million rand on December 2014 with a minimum investment of R250.000.00.
3. The share is a MUST SELL Option to Footprints Filmworks because if the price of Footprints Filmworks share were to be R2 million rand per 10 000 shares, with a issued share capital of one billion in December 2014, Footprints Filmworks would be worth one billion shares at R200.00 per share, which would be R200 Billion rand by December 2014.
4. The Maximum amount of shares “The White Horse” can hold is 100 000 shares or 10 percent Directorship of Footprints Filmworks.
5. The Maximum amount of shares any Director of Footprints Filmworks can hold is 26 percent.
6. “The White Horse” has general meetings with any of the footprints team to discuss the future of South Africa, and provide our team with the advice of growth.
7. “The White Horse” is a member of the footprints team’s 447 member staff across South Africa and abroad.
8. “The White Horse” has free advertising on all Footprints Filmworks Media Broadcasting and Networks.

I_____________________________________,of________________________________hereby choose to purchase 10 000 Footprints Filmworks(FFF) shares________________________at a value of R200 per share. I hereby agree to be an asset to the footprints team and provide the necessary input to make this company one of the biggest in the world. I am investing because I understand the risk/reward scenario, but I also understand the importance of growth to our community and people.

Client Withdrawal date is December_____2014.
Client Signature______________________________________.
Client OPTION: SELL 10 000 FFF on December 2014.
No of 10 000 shares Purchased by Investor:______________________________.
Bank Transfer:

CASH EFT EMAIL BANK


--Footprints Filmworks—FF News—January 2010—December 2014—Todays Times—Sharerholders—
Page 8
FF News: Share Annextures:
• If “The Investor” bought the Footprints Filmworks share at R48 in January 2010, and he looked at the Footprints Filmworks share price at R57.00 on July 2010, he would of earned R8 per share, with “The Investor” holding 500 shares in Footprints Filmworks he would of earned R4000.00 in one day of a Footprints Share.
• Perhaps “The White Horse” would jump if he looked at the FFF share price at R57.00 on July 2010, because his investment of 10 000 shares is worth R570.000.00 with his minimum investment of R250.000.00. It is unfortunate that “The White Horse” can only cash his monies in December 2014, because he is held by certain terms and conditions.
• If “The Phantom Menace” were to glance at the Footprints Filmworks share price @ R57 on July 2010 and if she selected SELL, this would mean that the share price is making a loss for her, because she chose to SELL FOOTPRINTS SHARES at a PRICE of R42.50, when the price is currently at R57.00. Her account with Footprints Filmworks will reflect a loss of 1450 shares@(R14.50 per share)=R21, 025.00.
• OPTION 1 is a MUST BUY SHARE for the Investor. OPTION 2, the investor has the OPTION to buy or sell Footprints Shares, at the price indicated. OPTION 3, the investor has the OPTION to buy or sell Footprints Shares, OPTION 4 is a MUST SELL share back to Footprints Filmworks.
• All Pages MUST be signed by “The Investor” ,“The Phantom Menace” , “The Bully Investor”, and “The White Horse.”
• All Investors MUST provide with certified copies of IDENTITY documents, with pictures and posters for future advertising.
• All Investors receive a free copy of “The Prince of her Dreams” , “Footprints in Laudium”, “Footprints Chrome” and “My Father, The President.”
• Thanking you for your support
---------------------------------The Footprints Filmworks Foundation-------------------------------------------------------

The Japanese company Fujitaka has invented a cigarette machine that determines if you're over the legal smoking age of 20 by figuring out your age from your face. Buyers have to look into a digital camera, and the machine counts their facial sags and eye wrinkles, examines their bone structure, and compares them to data from over 100,000 people to identify their age. The makers say it will stop minors from using fake IDs to buy cigarettes, and it will be convenient for adult smokers who won't have to prove they're over 20 anymore. ***MARLAR: The problem though is that if you smoke you’ll already have wrinkles and sagging skin by age 15.

Is Coca-Cola an effective form of birth control? Does rectal message cure hiccups?

Scientists who have devoted their research (and sadly, their lives) to these burning questions are converging on Harvard University for the 2009 Ig Nobel Prizes, an annual tongue-in-cheek tribute to studies that “cannot or should not be reproduced”.

Past winners of the illustrious award, include:

--Dr. Francis Fesmire, for a paper he wrote called “Termination of Intractable Hiccups with Digital Rectal Massage”.

--Ellen Kleist and Harold Moi, for the cautionary medical report “Transmission of Gonorrhea Through an Inflatable Doll”.

--Three doctors at a Navy hospital in San Diego, for research into “Acute Management of the Zipper-Entrapped Penis”.

By all accounts, the 2009 Ig Nobels are shaping up to be a fierce competition, with numerous projects worthy of taking home the top prize.

Among the favorites to win:

--Jon Gosselin, for a paper he wrote called “Marrying a Bitch Results in Birth of 8 Kids”. 

--Kanye West, for his research into “The Boundless Limits of the Celebrity Ego”.

--Thirty-seven doctors, for their study entitled “How in the Hell is Amy Winehouse Still Alive?” 

7-29-09

Now I don't want to pontificate but why in a modern age are we bound by the shackles of  irrelevant guidelines so out dated they make Alexander Graham Bell's first prototypes look like an updated iPhone from the year 2025?

I mean seriously between the rules of religious documents from other millenniums to the regulations of legal documents from other centuries the newest code we follow is 6 months older than McCain's great-great grandfather's baby journal photos on papyrus.

Gandhi said, before you break the rules, you must know them. Well hey study time is over, final exams are graded and it's time to cut loose over Spring Break in Cancun, alright?

Hey, stop waiting for Godot, pick up the pen, and let's make these arbitrary absurdities less strict than Fellini as Drill Master Sergeant at Fascism boot camp.

Seriously folks, I mean, let's not cite from the Sex Pistol's lyrics or the pages of the Anarchist's Cookbook.

But let's face it people, wind your sundial from BC to digital with a little Abby Hoffman revolution or James Dean rebellion by declaring a new independence from the old Declaration of Independence.

Alright, hell the Old Testament was old since the birth of Christ. It's so old that we consider it's 2000 yr young sequel the NEW one, okay!

What I'm saying is, if we don't upgrade from all these ridiculous relic restrictions then we're a twelve sided dice piece and nerdy-anal-retentive-level 6-wizard of middle earth away from following more stupid instructions than a level-1-newbie-dwarf in a dictatorship of Dungeons and Dragons.

Bottom line and truth be told, times change, people change, and so should our hand books of social norms.

On the other hand I said I don't want to pontificate, so whatever, y'know?

A digital baseball card featuring Bo Obama, theWhite House dog, has gone online this week and is available for users to download and print. Bo catches right and growls right.

The FCC fielded 800,000 calls last week after the government mandated switch to digital television.

How can they just switch everyones television signal to digital without giving any kind of advance warning.  They should have been running advertising warning people that this was going to happen.

This is why people hate the government.  They just don't communicate with the citizens about what's going on in their country.

Because the government refuses to communicate with it's populous I'm going to step in and inform you that the government has a plan to thin out the population by imprisoning, sterilizing and even euthanizing stupid people.

The first 800,000 to be rounded up will be the idiots who called the FCC about the switchover to digital TV.