The #1 reason people fail on their diet, is simply people get tired of dieting, according to the About.com Health/InsightExpress dieting survey. 40% said they get tired of dieting, while 22% said their diet didn't allow favorite foods and 21% said their diet was too restrictive.  ***MARLAR: Amen to that.  I would’ve been fine on my diet if they’d allowed me to doctor up my Slim Fast with some double-chocolate chunk.

Despite getting lectured by PETA, Al Gore says he isn't going on a vegetarian diet to save the planet. Hey, Al's so fat, if he just goes on any kind of diet, he may save the planet.

 A diet heavy in processed and fatty foods increases the risk of depression.  This may explain why Kirstie Alley has the suicide hotline on speed dial.

Good news for dieters – you now have a reason to quit.  A UCLA-UC Irvine study found that starving yourself doesn't help you live longer.  ***MARLAR: It just makes life FEEL longer.

"I thought my heart problems stemmed from poor diet and lack of exercise," explained Dick Cheney.

Venezuelan President Hugo Chávez and Libya’s Muammar Gaddafi have joined forces to urge the world to redefine the word “terrorism”. The diplomatic equivalent of Oprah and Kirstie Alley attempting to redefine the word "diet".

www.jerrywolski.com

Women in North Korea are eating more dog meat because of a rumor that it prevents wrinkles.  ***MARLAR: They believe the rumor was started by cats.  (If you want to prevent wrinkles, don't eat the Shar-pei!)

Hair will fall out faster on a person that is on a crash diet.  ***MARLAR: Boy does that mess you up getting ready for your high school reunion!  Now you have to decide whether you’d rather show up fat or bald! 

Oprah will travel to Copenhagen, Denmark to lobby for new Olympics events: celebrity confessionals, yo-yo dieting, Bonbon lifting and dubious medical advice-giving.

I'm on the new outer space diet.I hope to be weightless in 3 months.