There are matchmakers and then there are match breakers, such as the Huron County judge who sent a woman to jail for polygamy and gave her six months to divorce one of her husbands. Lorri L. Freesland of Kinde pleaded guilty to the charge in December.  Circuit Judge M. Richard Knoblock on Monday sentenced the 43-year-old Freesland to 15 days in jail and one year of probation. He also told her she had six months to resolve her marital status.  ***MARLAR: At which point she’ll likely still get half one husband’s stuff and still have access to all of the other husband’s stuff.  She breaks the law and still gets all-and-a-half from her husbands!

Breast reductions are the most popular form of cosmetic surgery these days – for men.  While going under the knife is always terrifying, men are proving that it takes a pair of balls to lose a pair of breasts.

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The manager of a bank in Essex has apologized to a customer after sending him a debit card bearing the name Dick Head.

The customer whose name is neither Dick nor Head, said he did not spot the insult until he was handing over the card in a supermarket to pay for something a few days after it arrived in the post.

"I couldn't believe it," he said.

"When I got the card out I saw the name embossed on it. I was so embarrassed I put it back in my wallet.

"I know I've been overdrawn a few times but I've done nothing to deserve this.”

Listen Dick, have you looked in the mirror lately?

(We seem to be passing germs around but thanks to Dasher for this germ) 

I still think it's funny

This just in NBC has announced that it will reinstate it's former reality show "Last Comic Standing"

With stars Jay Leno, Conan O'Brien, Jimmy Kimmel and if they can get contract releases David Letterman and Rosie O'Donnell.

The shows premise is Winner Take All everyone else leaves and then we can get on with more important stuff like:  Where is Tiger Woods?  Jon and Kate Gosselin's Divorce. The Charlie Sheen Fiasco. Who's screwing who in Hollywood.  And the even bigger news of who's Shooting who and/or Screwing who in Professional Sports

Andy Rooney's latest installment on 60 Minutes went something like this :  " Susie's mother sent me a box of Honey-Bell Oranges the other day . I bit into one only to find that little bastard Susie switched them with a box of orange-colored lemons . I really hate kids even more than I hate the holidays  .  Anyway, I was very happy to see sub-freezing temperatures in Florida recently . It was heart-warming for me to watch citrus growers scrambling to save their crops while losing millions of dollars in the process .       I enjoy the changing of the seasons here in New York . If I must suffer during these long, cold, winter months, so should the people who live in warm places like Florida and Hawaii . I also enjoy a few big snowstorms every year . I always wonder if somebody in my neighborhood will get a heart attack while shoveling snow ?   I hate to spend money, but at my age I rather pay a few bucks than die . Who wants to do all that back-breaking work when you can hire a couple of Mexicans for practically nothing ?   ........  I also look forward to those dark, cold, rainy days of winter that most normal people hate . I love a heavy soaking down-pour and seeing all those busy streets in Manhattan flooded . I enjoy seeing cold, shivering people all huddled together under one umbrella while waiting for a bus . I just can't resist the urge to hit the gas pedal of my big Lexus and aim for the puddles in the right lane . I wish you could see the terror on their faces when they know the're about to get hit by a wall of ice-cold water !  It really puts a big smile on an old man's face . .................................................................................disclaimer, not an actual quote by Mr Rooney   

Hey, tomorrow is Martin Luther Kings birthday.  I hope everyone has their MLK's Tree all set up and decorated.

I've got mine all set up with figurines of Abraham Lincoln and George Washington hanging on the tree.  Two presidents that had their rememberance shuffled off to make way for Martin. I also have a little figurine of Christopher Columbus hanging here.  As you have probably heard, many politically correct people want to do away with old Chris too. 

On the top of the tree I have a BIG Kawanza star to tie the two holidays together. I think to be politically correct we should use Kawanza to replace Xmas.  You know what the X stands for.

I also have a little Japanese figurine hanging here to commemorate another fallen holiday VJ Day. There are many other decorations but I think we should just light some candles and sing a few songs.

They say the holidays are a hard time for Alcoholics to Stay sober. I would venture to guess for a sexaholic Valentines day would be a trigger. That is the day Tiger Woods is being released from his Sex rehab. I wonder if they have marathon meetings on that day? 

Mark McGwire, who finally admitted to using steroids during his playing days, has been hired by ESPN to host a new sports game show.  The show will be called "Things Everybody Already Knew."