...The Atascadero State Hospital for the insane has been evacuated because of an outbreak of the H1N1 virus.  State officials are referring to the crisis as "one flu over the cuckoo's nest."  

Knowing that people are suffering in the current economic crisis, 20 former pickpockets are helping a new program slip money to random people.

The program is a strip club. 

Cuba, in the mist of a serious economic crisis, is running out of toilet paper.

Due to this epidemic, all Taco Bell's in Cuba will be closed down. 

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 I am going to attend college this August and shits kind of scary 'cause the cost of  the CSU and UC tuition has once again been raised due to the California's budget crisis. Schwarzenegger has been taking money out of the public school's budget to pay for some bills. I'm Fuck'in piste I may not afford  to for tuition. 

I wrote a song that I will sent to Schwarzenegger's Twitter page: A remix of The Black Eye Peas' "I gotta Feeling".

Here it goes!......1...2....3...4....

I gotta feeling..... that tonight’s homework won't be turned in 
that today’s classes will be empty
that tonight I'm not gonna afford to attend university 

Tonight’s the night night
Let tuition's high
some students can't afford it
but we need an eduction

Go out and tell Schwarzenegger
like Oh My God
California budget crisis

is fuckin students.... up 

I know that we could try to stop it
if we get down
and go out
and advocate for our selves

I feel stressed out
I wanna transfer
drink and get drunk  
and have a chance to say " I love college" 

seems like the filthy rich can afford tuition
Mazal tov!
Look at them pull their wallets
pay in cash

university will be shut down
higher tuition means no students will be a round
and we gotta make sure it don't happen 

Lets Do it 
keep tuition low

I gotta feeling..... that tonight’s homework won't be turned in 
that today’s classes will be empty
that tonight I'm not gonna afford to attend university 

Tonight’s the night night
Let tuition's high
some students can't afford it
but we need an eduction

Go out and tell Schwarzenegger
like Oh My God
California budget crisis

is fuckin students.... up 

I got the potential to be educated
Mazal Tov (L’chaim)
if people have an education behind a occupation
the  Cala-forn-e-a's economy be strong, Schwarzenegger!

I myself will try to stop it
from a university shut down
i don't want to be a college drop out
I'll exercise my citizen's rights, I'll become an action star. Then 

ran for gov. of California and actually do my job.

I'll do it
I just need 3.5 million for my campain.

I'll do it, I'll do it

I just need to pick up allot of bottles and cans

Here we come
here we go
we gotta get an education

Easy come
easy go
if we could afford tuition

Feel the shot
of being cheated
Thank you, Schwarzenegger

Round and round
up and down
around the clock

Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday
Friday, Saturday, Saturday and Sunday

students keep keep  on going
 can't afford university tuition
every everyday
every everyday

I gotta feeling..... that tonight’s homework won't be turned in 
that today’s classes will be empty
that tonight I'm not gonna afford to attend university................... gotta feeling?

I see ads on the subway now addressing the crisis of gay domestic violence. Two guys beating on each other used to be called an even match, but now it's domestic violence. Reminds me of that gay domestic dispute between Bruce Lee and Chuck Norris...

In order to solve the budget crisis, today Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger announced that California was being bought by Fiat.

Americans are stressed out due to the massive layoffs happening recently.  Since the recession started, calls to crisis prevention lines and psychiatric lines are up 30 percent.

America - now you know where the jobs are!

President Obama is under fire for bowing to the Saudi king. However, the White House issued a statement defending Obama saying, “we’re in an economic crisis and the President was simply looking on the floor for loose change to help fund the next stimulus package.”   

WASHINGTON, April 9 (Reuters) - U.S. President Barack Obama declined to answer reporters' questions on Thursday on a hostage crisis off the coast of Somalia, where a U.S. ship captain is being held captive by pirates.

But he was quick to point out that he correctly predicted the winner of the NCAA men's basketball tournament and that people still mostly really like him in Europe.