THE END OF ENGLISH
-Now, I promise to prevent precipitous postulations and pointless pontifications.
Honestly folks, when did the 'now English' become the 'new Latin?'
Look, nowadays, English's exasperation of erudition and eloquence is dependent on life support system.
Hey, lately, it appears so close to death it's one late insurance payment away from being unplugged, you know?
I mean, listen, English tried to request euthanasia copious occasions.
Fact is, it couldn't find the words and needed a dictionary like dementia victims reading their own auto-biography and being surprised.
And, Oh, by the way, soon it'll be diminished, dead, and dismissed.
You see, yesterdays cassette tape walkman of languages erased by Espanola the iPod of tomorrows talk.
Hey, truth be told, English's existence is endeavoring endangerment edging extinction entirely.
Let's face it folks, museums will exhibit pre-Hispanic speaking era fossils of Thesaurus Nexus juxtaposing prehistoric non-speaking era fossils of Tyrannosaurs Rexes, all right?
Now, our vernacular, vocabulary, and will vanish at velocity while violins will play a minor key sonata.
Christ's sake, I mean, English's FINAL words will have to be translated by Rosetta Stone post humanely.
Of course, then we'll have misinterpreted wills, mispronounced eulogy, and misspelled tombstone.
Hey, bottom line folks, at that point, mourners will truly be speechless, okay?
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