The commissioner, or Grand Dragon, of the new All-White Basketball League wants to set up a game between his pasty pigment challenged players and the slightly more diverse NBA. He wants to call it Sno-ball vs Bro-ball. He believes his fundamentals will beat the flashy, crotch grabbing, slam dunks. In other news, the Washington Generals still think they can beat the Harlem Globetrotters.

 Why do the authorities have a problem with Universities that mail you a diploma once you’ve sent in a check? What’s wrong with that? Most Universities force you to fuck around for four years, doing unpaid work that nobody wants to look at while charging you absurd amounts of money before giving you the same piece of paper as the mail order college. I say that if you can get a Russian woman to marry you with nothing other than a PO Box and a checkbook, then I say that my PhD in Theoretical Physics from Southwestern Methodist Libertarian Arts and Sciences University Tech  is perfectly valid, even if the entire campus is located inside a Cracker Barrel. 

I'm sure we've all figured out President Barack Obama's alternate ego....Flavor Flave!!!!!!!!!!   YEEEEAAA   BOOOOOY!!!!!"We is gonna make some changes"

C-Crackers

H-Hate

A-aint

N-Never

G-Gonna

E-End

But now who's in control beotch?!?!?!?

One love, Peace!!!!!!!!!! 

Ticket prices.

Front Row Seats Prices= Small Suitcase Nuclear Bomb

Regular Seating Prices= Man-Portable Surface-To-Air Missile Systems

Balcony Seating Prices= Laser Weapon Systems

Seats Sitting On The Floor= Any of the following Bullets, Machine Guns (Russian or American), Hand Grenades, Firecrackers will not be accepted.

No Woman Allowed. Thankyou for purchasing your tickets throughTerrorist Master. Questions call us at 1-800-KILL-YOU

A Tenn. woman discovered 97,000 dollars in 1,000-dollar bills in a bag at a local Cracker Barrel restaurant. Billie Watts, 75, ultimately decided to return the money she found last Thursday in the woman’s restroom. Watts, who left the restaurant with the money managed to get in touch with the rightful owner, a woman who told Watts the money was the proceeds from the sale of her home. The women also told Watts that she was Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny and the Tooth Fairy.

The FBI is investigating as a possible hate crime incident in which a black woman was beaten to the ground by a white man at the entrance to the Cracker Barrel restaurant in Morrow, Georgia.

Who would have guessed that a place called the "Cracker" Barrel would be ground zero for any kind of racial attacks.

President Obama, V.P. Joe Biden, Prof. Henry Gates, and Sgt. James Crowley all met at the White House Rose Garden yesterday .  Obama said,  " I'm so glad we were all able to gather here today . Mrs Cindy McCain, the Anheuser-Busch heiress  was happy to donate a few kegs of  Budweiser for this important occassion . "   A very frustrated Prof Gates moaned , " I don't wanna be drinkin' that old Cracker Lady's beer . Gimme a Colt .45 instead ! "   Joe Biden agreed, " Yeah, I think I'll have a Scotch & Soda instead of the beer . "   Sgt Crowley joined in , " The Bud's fine but i rather they drop a shot of whiskey in mine and make it a Boilermaker . "    Not willing to be out done by his manly guests, Barack told the White House waitress   " Oh Missy , can i please have a double Pink Frozen Daiquiri ? " ........  Five minutes later the gang of 4 were heard whooping it up and telling Michael Jackson Jokes  .................................................................................(K&W)    

 Today I opened a box of Cracker Jack and the "surprise" was ten shares of GM stock.

Two men have been given the death penalty for their involvement in China's contaminated milk scandal.  Authorities say they will be fed peanut butter crackers until they die of salmanella.

Obama and his staff are apparently frustrated with the antiquated technology in the White House. Guess when Bush left they still couldn’t get rid of all those crappy cracker crumbs.