Chinese police are looking for over two million defective condoms.

The University of Chicago is joining a nationwide trend of allowing male and female students to live not just on the same dorm floor but in the same dorm room. The university’s open housing program won’t include freshman and students won’t need parental permission to participate. In a related story, the Chicago area retailers have noticed a significant increase in the sale of glow in the dark condoms, porn and night vision goggles.

Men in India have been complaining that condoms are too large for them.As a result,a new size has been created........the condominimum. 

David Letterman has three young and very attractive ladies working in his office . The Brunette said , " Look girls, I just found a box of condoms in Dave's desk ."  .... The Redhead replied , " Yeah I know, I punched holes in all of them last week ." ....  "  You Did What ? "  Screamed the Blonde just before she fainted . 

10 ) THREE DOZEN LIFESTYLES MULTI-COLORED CONDOMS ................................

9 )   FIVE NEW TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS .......................................

8 ) AN OLD COPY OF  " THE JOY OF SEX  "  IN

PAPERBACK  ...................................................

7 )  90 DAY SUPPLY OF ROOFIES .........................................

6 ) EIGHT PAIRS OF LADIES BLACK SEAMED NYLON STOCKINGS  ..................................

 5 ) FOUR PAIRS CROTCHLESS EDIBLE PANTIES ( CHERRY FLAVORED )...............................

 4 ) ONE SONY HANDYCAM CAMCORDER AND MINI TRIPOD  ......................................     

3 ) ONE BOTTLE KORBEL PINK CHAMPAGNE    ..........................................................................          

2 ) ONE TROJAN  " HER PLEASURE VIBRATING TOUCH FINGERTIP MASSAGER "  WITH EXTRA BATTERIES ...............................................................

1 ) SUPREME COURT JUSTICE CLARENCE THOMAS' AUTOGRAPHED VHS COPY OF  " LONG DONG SILVER "  

The outcry of "Save the Wienermobiles!" has even touched the hearts of the porn industry.

Yesterday they donated a dozen of John Holmes' condoms to be used as car covers.

Bravo!!

Apparently, Brotherly Love is the only type of love people from Philly are getting. According to a survey conducted by Trojan Condoms, Philadelphians only have sex an average of 73 times a year. That ties them with Chicago and Dallas for the second-lowest rate of sexual activity in the country.

Joining in on the irony, San Francisco, the city where free love was founded, has the lowest number of sexual encounters a year. Citizens residing in the City by the Bay only get freaky 60 times annually.

Of course, it comes as no surprise that the city with the highest rate of sexual activity in the country is Slutsville, KY.

Bill Bubba Clinton doesn't know the difference between an embryo and an egg. Check out this one-minute CNN video.

Bill Clinton Shows His Ignorance on Embryonic Stem Cell Research, Biology:

“If it's obvious that we're not taking embryos that can -- that under any conceivable scenario would be used for a process that would allow them to be fertilized and become little babies...then I think the American people will support this,” Clinton said.

Over and over during the course of the interview, Clinton falsely indicated that embryos are not fertilized: “I believe the American people believe it's a pro-life decision to use an embryo that's frozen and never going to be fertilized for embryonic stem cell research....”

You would think that with all the fertilizer Bill Clinton has released into the world, he would know the difference between an egg and an embryo.

No wonder he didn't understand the need for condoms (Gennifer Flowers told us about that, remember?): If there's no embryo in the woman, then nothing can be fertilized.

So now one wants to ask him: Has Chelsea been fertilized yet?

This confusion also may be related to Clinton's inability to tell the difference between consensual and compulsory sex. 

"Desperate Housewives" star Eva Longoria Parker swore off plastic water bottles, "Charlie's Angels" actress Lucy Liu also vowed to help the environment by riding the subway, and "Two and a Half Men" star Charlie Sheen promised that when screwing hookers he would use biodegradable condoms.

And Olympic officials are distributing 100,000 condoms to athletes living in the Olympic Village. The condoms are just for the foreign athletes since most of the Chinese team members are still under the age of consent.