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SillyWilly
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Oscar the cat predicts when people will die.

By: SillyWilly  (M)
Submitted: Feb 8, 2010
Category: News  
From Hot Topic

Animal

1183 Jokes  36 Videos

Oscar the cat predicts when people will die.Oscar the cat can detect when nursing home patients have just hours to live.

Never mind all that, I’ve got a great idea. I brought all my comedy stuff up to the nursing home and laid it on the floor. Oscar walked all around my papers, not even looking at them or smelling them. Then he suddenly peed on a couple and a few minutes later he took a dump on another one.

This could be a professional breakthrough. I’ll let you know if he was right on those three jokes.

 


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Chris Martin
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Chris Martin: Cheney and the Portuguese Water Boarding Dog

By: Chris Martin (C)
Submitted: Feb 6, 2010
Category: MP3  
From Hot Topic

Dick Cheney

170 Jokes  1 Videos



"Dick Cheney is going out on Halloween night dressed as the Ghost of Torture Past." Richmond, Virginia stand-up comedian Chris Martin discusses David Letterman, the Obama's Portuguese Water Boarding dog, Mel Gibson, Jon Goselin, Michael Moore, Sarah Palin, Teddy Kennedy, Balloon Boy, Meghan McCain, Billy Ray and Miley Cyrus, Lisa Lampanelli and Artie Lange at Paradox Comedy's Motel Hell October 29, 2009. He's introduced by Jesse Wiley and Thomas George.

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SillyWilly
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Rush Limbaugh Says Liberals Are 'Retarded'

By: SillyWilly  (M)
Submitted: Feb 6, 2010
Category: Weird  
From Hot Topic

Rush Limbaugh

87 Jokes

Rush Limbaugh Says Liberals Are 'Retarded'

Rush Limbaugh has pounced on Rahm Emanuel's "retarded" blunder and is using the same offensive term to bludgeon his enemies on the left.

"Our political correct society is acting like some giant insult has taken place by calling a bunch of people who are retards, retards," Limbaugh said on the show.

"I mean these people are kooks. They are loony tunes. And I’m not going to apologize," he continued. "I think their big news is, Rahm is out there calling people f’ing retards. So now there’s going to be a "retard summit" meeting at the White House. Just like the beer summit meeting between Obama and Gates and that cop in Cambridge."

Now comedy writers can’t write funny shit like this.

 


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Dasher
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Tax Deductions

By: Dasher  (C)
Submitted: Feb 5, 2010
Category: News  

Tax Deductions

The IRS has ruled that a man's sex-change operation to become a woman is tax deductible.

Now, any man wanting to write-off that operation will simply have to use the 1040 short form. 

(With a tip 'o the hat to DailyComedy.com comedian Jeff Martin for the idea for the joke)


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Sean Lee
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Osama's latest.

By: Sean Lee (M)
Submitted: Jan 27, 2010
Category: News  
From Hot Topic

Osama Bin Laden

172 Jokes  7 Videos

Osama Bin Laden released another video praising the Christmas Day underwear bomber. He also plugged his upcoming slacker comedy, “Two Girls, One Cave.” It's in previews now.

-----------------

Sean Lee

http://seanmichaellee.blogspot.com/

http://www.seanmichaellee.com

 

 


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Terry Tyller
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BCS Trophy

By: Terry Tyller (M)
Submitted: Jan 26, 2010
Category: Sports  Staff Pick!
From Hot Topic

Football

1304 Jokes  12 Videos

The University of Alabama is going to display its new national championship football trophy at a place where most anyone can see it: Wal-Mart. In order to eliminate any confusion the following sign will be displayed as well: “This is the BCS National Championship football trophy. It has no affiliation with NASCAR,

WWE or The Blue Collar Comedy Tour.”

 


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SillyWilly
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Stop Posting on The Daily Comedy I can't get anything done

By: SillyWilly  (M)
Submitted: Jan 24, 2010
Category: Weird  

Stop Posting on The Daily Comedy I can't get anything done

You guys have to stop posting on this site because I can’t get anything done. I’m so damn busy reading all the funny stuff you guys post and then leaving comments that I don’t have time to post all my crap. Have a little consideration for an old guy.

I used white out on the screen to block all of your jokes but that didn’t work. I could still read them. Today I figured out a new method. I’m using a big black magic marker to block everything so I can type in my stuff BUT that isn’t working either. I can hardly see the screen.

 


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Chris Martin
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Chris Martin: the Artie Lange Driving School

By: Chris Martin (C)
Submitted: Jan 23, 2010
Category: MP3  
From LateNet Guest

Artie Lange

4 Videos  10 Jokes



"October 8 was National Depression Screening Day. I wanted to participate but I was too depressed." Chris Martin does stand-up comedy at Cafe Diem Comedy Night in Richmond, Virginia October 19, 2009. Celebs he skewers include Mel Gibson,Bob Dylan,Michael Moore,Meghan McCain, Levi Johnston,Sarah Palin, Teddy Kennedy and Lisa Lampanelli.


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Chris Martin
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I may be having a sitcom flashback

By: Chris Martin (C)
Submitted: Jan 21, 2010
Category: Entertainment  
From Hot Topic

Marriage

1577 Jokes  26 Videos

I may be having a sitcom flashback

Is it just me, or is Sofia Vergera, who plays Ed "Al Bundy" O'Neill's wife in the ABC comedy "Modern Family," an Hispanic version of Peg Bundy?


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Chris Martin
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There's a stand-up comedy open mic in Karachi, Pakistan

By: Chris Martin (C)
Submitted: Jan 21, 2010
Category: Entertainment  
From Hot Topic

Pakistan

52 Jokes

There's a stand-up comedy open mic in Karachi, Pakistan

Might be a tough crowd for Sarah Silverman and Jerry Seinfeld, though.


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