The #1 reason people fail on their diet, is simply people get tired of dieting, according to the About.com Health/InsightExpress dieting survey. 40% said they get tired of dieting, while 22% said their diet didn't allow favorite foods and 21% said their diet was too restrictive.  ***MARLAR: Amen to that.  I would’ve been fine on my diet if they’d allowed me to doctor up my Slim Fast with some double-chocolate chunk.

Men who marry a well-educated women boost their chances of living a long life. The higher a woman's education, the better the chance both she and her partner will have a long life, according to research from the Swedish Institute for Social Research in Stockholm. Oddly, the level of a wife's education was a stronger factor in lowering her husband's risk of dying over the next 10 years than the man's own level of education. Both men and women with less education and who made less money had a higher rate of death than those with more education and higher earnings.  ***MARLAR: In other words, if you’re looking for Mr. or Mrs. Right, stop looking in night clubs, start looking in chess clubs.

William Rudd, a 64-year-old retiree from Salem, has collected more than 1,500 prizes including food, gift certificates and other goodies under the state lottery's "Replay" program, which gives losing lottery tickets a second chance to win. Here's just a sampling of his haul: four bottles of maple syrup, 20 pizzas, 33 ice cream cones, 86 cinnamon buns, 92 steakhouse gift certificates, 161 chicken sandwiches, and 484 cups of coffee to wash it all down. Oh, yeah. And a one-month fitness club membership.  ***MARLAR: Well, the bible does say “the last will be first.”

Former police brutality victim Rodney King has become a boxer. It's no surprise, because we already know he can take a punch, kick, club... 

I've joined Oprah's Fruitcake of the month club. I'm just in time for my mother in laws birthday.

Thieves calling themselves “The Educators” have returned a statue stolen from disgraced investment guru Bernie Madoff. And they hoped his learned his lesson. The Palm Beach Post reports that the 10,000 dollar copper sculpture turned up Wednesday near the country club Madoff belonged to. A note attached read “Bernie the Swindler, Lesson: Return stolen property to rightful owners. Signed by – The Educators” A Madoff spokesman made it clear: lessoned learned. Madoff reported the sculpture stolen. In fact he just received a check from his insurance company, AIG. The checks amount, 1 billion dollars.

There is a club at Dartmouth College called "Swingers."

I attended the first meeting, then wondered why everyone was giving me dirty looks when I asked them if they wanted to fuck my girlfriend.

 Then I found out it was a dance club.

Maya Angelou is working on getting poetry clubs started in several prisons.The program will be called Prose & Cons. 

Despite protests that golf is an elitist and sexist sport, golf will return as an Olympic sport in 2016. To fend off criticism, Golf officials agreed to allow women in the clubhouse during the Olympics to serve drinks.     

Nationals top draft pick Stephen Strasburg has vowed to avoid drinking Cristal, hanging out at clubs and hooking up with random women. In other words, no Lil Wayne videos.