What did Bill Clinton say when asked whether he would have sex with Palin?

"You betcha!" 

Bill Clinton, John Edwards, Mark Sandford and Tiger Woods walk into a bar and there's one woman there.    

Edwards says, "I'm trying to look better in the public eye - can't do it."

Sandford says, "I've got this hot latin babe. I've gotta pass."

Tiger says, "Next time Elin's using a 2 iron and aiming lower. Can't risk it."

Clinton breaks out into a broad smile and turns to his secret service agents: "Boys - make sure Hillary's still in Afghanistan."

So far, Barack Obama has mentioned Jesus more often in his speeches than George W. Bush did. Of course, the President who made the most religious references while in office will always be Bill Clinton.

He used one religious phrase more than anyone else: "Oh, God! OH, God! Ooooh, God!!"

Los Angeles Lakers forward Pau Gasol was one of 10 NBA players donating $1,000 for every point he scored Friday night to the Clinton Bush Haiti Fund.  In addition, the NBA Players Association is sending Gilbert Arenas to help with crowd control.

Might be a good idea for Bill Clinton to cut back on the lap dances. 

Barack and Michele Obama with smiling faces, served up food at a homeless shelter on Martin Luther King Day . He announced to his hungry homeless guests , .... " I have a dream, too ! " ........ " I have a dream after the 2012 elections are over with, I will open my own Boston Market Family Restaurant ." .....  " I have a dream of offering affordable dinners to working class people who are too lazy to cook for themselves ." ....... " I have a dream of selling healthy kids meals for as little as $2.99 . "...... " I have a dream of offering senior citizens a discount of up to 10% with proof of age . " ........ " I have a dream of watching my wife Michele working the cash register and trying to give correct change to impatient White people . " ................ " I HAD a dream last night Hillary Clinton won the 2008 Democratic Primary and I wouldn't be here dreaming now ! "   

George W. Bush said he'd gladly help the other former presidents with the Haiti relief efforts.  "Heck, yeah, reportin' for duty!  Which island?  Tell my daddy and Clinton " I call Maui!"

On the sunday morning talk shows, former president Bill Clinton talked about making a modern Haiti. Apparently one where they bring him coffee via SMS.

It seems as though President Obama asked former President Bush to help lead efforts in raising money for the disaster stricken country of Haiti. One we'll be feverishly looking for trapped chubby Jewish women and the other will be wishing John McCain a happy birthday and clearing brush.