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SillyWilly
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Four Year Old on Viagra

By: SillyWilly  (M)
Submitted: Jan 30, 2010
Category: News  
From Hot Topic

Viagra

92 Jokes  5 Videos

Four Year Old on Viagra

He is only four years old but he regularly takes four doses of Viagra to keep him alive.

The toddler has a rare condition called pulmonary hypertension that causes chronic high blood pressure. Something as simple a chest infection could kill him. Viagra is an expensive drug but it's actually one of the cheapest to treat pulmonary hypertension.

 

Many of the neighborhood mothers pay mom to let them baby sit the little tyke.

 


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TL Jones
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T - Big Cat Daddy - Jones....Vol. 1

By: TL Jones (C)
Submitted: Dec 6, 2009
Category: Entertainment  
From Hot Topic

Parents

1321 Jokes  24 Videos

THE LOST TAPES…THE LOST YEARS…..VOL.1

Lonesome In The Dawn

 

LINER NOTES: In keeping with more recent re-interest in the blues, the series of films once airing on public television in the United States as “The Year of the Blues”, and, of course, in discovering more about the backgrounds and identities of the performers who sang them, a great deal of attention is being paid to the very many singers and musicians lacking more widespread notice and recognition. They represent in a way an undiscovered treasury of the past and a chronicle of the lives of people from and cultures of that time. Such a musician was T - “Big Cat Daddy” – Jones  Mr. T, Daddy (born circa 1933-1947…..d…?)  played regionally throughout the South, appearing most often on what has been called the “chitlin and hog maw circuit”….smaller spaces and venues frequented nearly exclusively by those of African American descent.

 

Not much of T - “Big Cat Daddy” seems to have survived however…mostly a few songs and what can only be called blues fragments…scraps of paper containing a variety of half-finished lyrics. There is only one known surviving recording to date: “Lonesome in the Dawn” for the now defunct MoonShine Record Label (MSR 001), uncovered by noted blues documentarian, Randolph (Who My Daddy?) Lomax…..the often rumored offspring of Allen (“No Child O’Mine”) Lomax…and a short-order cook by the name of Sadie (You Eat Grits… White Boy?) Stephenson. Repeated attempts to trace the heritage and paternity of the younger Mr. Lomax, through DNA sampling, have been repeatedly denied by the Lomax estate, who nevertheless have generously agreed to secure a “Hardee’s Big Boy” franchise in Texiola for the two eldest daughters of Ms. Stephenson….  Corinthia and Penelope….This aside, Mr. Jones followed in the footsteps of Robert Johnson, Robert Lockwood and Honeyboy Edwards, with a feeling and spirit much in keeping with that tradition.

 

As to the sole surviving 78 rpm vinyl disc for MoonShine Records, it was backed with Theodophilus “Small Mouth” Bass’ cover of.. “Gimme Some Fat Head Possum”.

On the strength of that recording, Mr. Bass quickly and deservedly faded back into obscurity. As for Mr. Jones, there have been persistent rumors that his blues career came to an abrupt end, owing to the reputed loss of two fingers in a bar fight…leaving him obviously unable to play guitar anymore. While impossible to trace and to satisfactorily verify, there is speculation that Mr. Jones went back to complete his interrupted schooling and ultimately became a man of the cloth, and perhaps, later… entered politics as well.

 

What follows is a printed version of the sole song that we know… written and recorded by T - “Big Cat Daddy” Jones.

 

 

Lonesome in the Dawn

 

Well, I cry in the morning

            weep come sun down too

Shiver from the cold

            sweat like day light dew

Lonesome come the dawn

            night bring solitude

 

Comfort passed around

            a bottle off the shelf

Women come around

            bad whiskey off the shelf

Too much and too many

            Lord, you forget yourself

 

Well, I cry in the morning

            weep come sun down too

Shiver from the cold

            sweat like day light dew

Lonesome come the dawn

            night bring solitude

 

 

Hard in the country

            hard in the city too       

It’s hard in the city

            pavement pounding dues

Walkin’ miles to nowhere

            bound to wear your shoes

 

 

Well, I cry in the morning

            weep come sun down too

Shiver from the cold

            sweat like day light dew

Lonesome come the dawn

            night bring solitude                                        

 

 

 

 

all music copyrighted: Litter Box publishing

for appearances and bookings, contact:

 

Box  873 Buffalo NY 14215

drtljonesged@aol.com


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Flannigan McGaffigan
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REPORTING NEWS IS GOOD JOURNALISM

By: Flannigan McGaffigan (M)
Submitted: Sep 21, 2009
Category: News  
From Hot Topic

ABC News

18 Jokes

REPORTING NEWS IS GOOD JOURNALISM

 

President Barack Obama, expressing his openness to a newspaper bailout bill, stated that good journalism is “critical to the health of our democracy."

Insiders report  that the proposal would allow ABC, NBC, CBS, MSNBC, CNN, NPR, L. A. Times, New York Times, Boston Globe, Washington Post, Chicago Tribune, San Francisco Chronicle, Newsweek and Time Magazine to copy news stories directly from FOX NEWS in support of said “good journalism.”


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Gary B.
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Marriage Ends, Health Declines

By: Gary B. (C)
Submitted: Jul 28, 2009
Category: News  Staff Pick!
From Hot Topic

Marriage

1577 Jokes  26 Videos

Researchers found people who ceased being married at some point in their lives were significantly more likely to have chronic health problems than those who stayed married.  I'm sorry I just don't buy it.  These researchers have never eaten my wife's cooking.


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Steve Etzkorn
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LeBron Loves the Chronic..

By: Steve Etzkorn (M)
Submitted: Jul 27, 2009
Category: Sports  
From Hot Topic

LeBron James

32 Jokes  1 Videos

LeBron James has revealed that he experimented with marijuana.. Reporters began to suspect the NBA star was high during his press conference when he stated his dope smokin' started in college..


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Dan Wilbur
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Philoso-Wii

By: Dan Wilbur (C)
Submitted: Feb 19, 2009
Category: Blogs  
From Hot Topic

Video Game

110 Jokes  8 Videos

Philoso-WiiA Wii-diculous blog already in progress!

Just when you were thinking, "Man, the internet needs have another comedian promote the shit out of a blog about nothing," Dan Wilbur delivers writing about his favorite hobby: Sadness.

http://philosowii.tumblr.com/


DEAREST Miis,

My name is Dan Wilbur. You may remember me from The Apiary, CollegeHumor.com, or that time I met your parents and did a poor job keeping the conversation going after the question “so…you’re a philatelist?”

This site is for YOU, the aberration from the norm that enjoys searching for Barbaro’s Treasure in Zack and Wiki, instead of gaining the trust of a young prostitute in your stolen car and beating her to death with a baseball bat after consummation.

For those of you who had the wherewithal to buy “cooler” or “less gay” video game systems, I invite you to leave any comments or questions you’ve been dying to ask a Wii player by e-mailing PhilosoWii@gmail.com.

This site will feature News and Reviews, but mostly it will chronicle a world seen through bluish-white glasses. If only I could type this all out with the mere flick of a wrist!

Until next time!

Wii’re all in this together!

Dan

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Violette
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Supernatural Public Service Announcement

By: Violette  (M)
Submitted: Jan 5, 2009
Category: Weird  
From Hot Topic

Animal

1183 Jokes  36 Videos

WARNING!

Beware. There have been localised reports of random itchiness in your area. This is due to a sudden infestation of Itchy Gnomes. Itchy Gnomes are extremely hardy supernatural beings that infest our homes for the purpose of driving us insane.

FAQ

How do I know if I have an Itchy Gnome in my home?

Does your head itchy when someone mention head lice? Do you have a chronic itch in the middle of your back in that spot you just cannot reach? Does you vagina or anus itch at inappropriate moments? Do you envy your dog when it scoots on the carpet? If you answered yes to any of these questions, then chances are you have an Itchy Gnome.

How do I identify an Itchy Gnome?

They are easily recognised by their rotund stomachs and helpful explanatory  t-shirts. If it doesn't say Itchy Gnome then you probably have something else, possibly a Sock Thief or maybe your short neighbour. Sprinkling them with salt will differentiate. If you have an Itchy Gnome, it will turn purple. If it is you neighbour, it will most likely just anger them.

What is the natural habitat of Itchy Gnomes?

They like to haunt bedrooms in particular. It gives them great pleasure delivering itches to those trying to get to sleep.

I have a very active gnome and it is driving me mad. How do I get rid of it?

In most cases a swift kick to its hind parts will give it the hint that its presence is not welcome. Be prepared for a chase though as Itchy Gnomes are extremely agile and fast and do not appreciate physical abuse. They also bite. If, despite kicking it, your infestation persists, try coating it in calamine lotion. This will cause it to instantly disappear.

Please pass this message on because for all you know, your friends are suffering in silence.

I. B. Feyridder.

Chef Media Officer for the Supernatural Health Department.

 


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Doug Chagnon
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Painful Balls

By: Doug Chagnon (C)
Submitted: Aug 8, 2007
Category: News  
From Hot Topic

Hooker

234 Jokes  5 Videos

When conventional medical professionals refused to remove a 62-year-old local man's testicles, police said he turned to mysterious "professionals" to relieve what he called chronic pain. They're called hookers.

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Steve Hofstetter's National Lampoon Sports Minute
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Sheffield Leaves Tigers

By: Steve Hofstetter's National Lampoon Sports Minute (C)
Submitted: Mar 17, 2007
Category: Sports  
From Hot Topic

Detroit Tigers

19 Jokes

In spring training news, Gary Sheffield left the Detroit Tigers for personal reasons, saying his chronic selfishness was too personal to talk about.

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Matt Golightly
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Just Part Of The Problem

By: Matt Golightly (C)
Submitted: Feb 2, 2007
Category: News  
From Hot Topic

MSNBC

34 Jokes  4 Videos

Just Part Of The ProblemTurner Broadcasting System CEO Phil Kent apologized today for the “botched publicity stunt in Boston” regarding the Aqua Team Hunger Force. His apology appeared in the USA Today, New York Times, Boston Globe, Wall Street Journal, The Washington Post, The Washington Times, The L.A. Times, The Houston Chronicle, Dallas Morning News, Associated Press, The BBC, Reuters.com, CNN.com, Bloomberg.com, The Drudge Report, the ticker on MSNBC, Fox News Channel, CNBC, CNN Headline News, Google News, www.postanapology.blogspot.com/2007/02/turner-apologizes-for-boston-stunt.html,
DailyComedy.com via this posting, Urban Dictionary.com, Wikipedia, Meatwad's Myspace page, and is currently being left under a bench at every airport in America.

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