Toyota's problems are widespread and scary! Everyone is frightened!

I got in a friend's Prius the other day and, when he turned the ignition on, the voice in the navigation unit started reciting the Rosary.

Tim Tebow, the Heisman winning quarterback, will be starring in a superbowl ad this Sunday stating his opposition to abortion, because his mother and father decided not to abort him.  Leaving aside the question of whether they were right or wrong, the fact is, both of his parents were itinerant preachers, wandering around the country "evangelizing" about Christ, while preventing young Tim from attending school....That's called "homeschooling".....Ya know I should tell my boss about "vacation-working"....Anyway,

Tim Tebow could recite the laws of Newtonian physics directly from the textbook and I would raise an eyebrow...........

He could tell me that the 8-sided red signs at the ends of many streets are stop signs, and I'd be highly skeptical.....

For Heaven's sake, Tim Tebow could tell me that the sun rises in the east and I'd think he was full of shit!

A man was charged with attempted murder after authorities said he drove his truck through the window of a service station. Jefferson County Chief Deputy Randy Christian said a 49-year-old man pulled into a BP station on Alabama 75 in Pinson Sunday morning and got into a dispute with the clerk because the pump was turned off. Christian said the station has a pay-first policy.  Christian said the suspect went back to his Ford Explorer and drove through the plate glass window and into the counter.  ***MARLAR: After making bail he tried to drive himself home... but ran out of gas.

An entire episode will be built around a nerve-wracking plot development: Hugo "Hurley" Reyes gets stuck in the hatch.

The only thing scarier than a groundhog waking up and seeing its shadow is Andie McDowell waking up and seeing her wrinkles.

 An old classic -----Three blondes meet at the Pearly Gates of heaven. St. Peter gave them an entrance exam. He asked the first blond, “What is Easter?”
She answered, “Oh, that’s easy. It’s in November and we all eat turkey…”
“Wrong,” St. Peter said. “You can’t come in.” He asked the second blonde, “What is Easter?”
“Oh, that’s in December, when we celebrate the birth of Christ, and exchange gifts, and eat lots of turkey.”
“No, no,” St. Peter said, looking discouraged. He turned to the third blonde and said, “Can you tell me what Easter is?”
“Of course,” he said. “Jesus was crucified by the Romans. They nailed him to the cross, made him wear a crown of thorns, and pierced his side. His friends buried him in a cave and sealed it with a stone.”
“Excellent,” St. Peter said. “Go on.”
“On Easter, they roll away the stone, and Jesus rises. If he sees his shadow, we’ll have six more weeks of winter.”

If you can dodge a wrench, you can dodge a ball. If you can dodge a ball, you can dodge a bank robbery conviction.

Well, knowing the frequency of rape in this country's prisons, maybe Rip Torn should change his name to something a little less provocative.

"Its time to put it on... the last suit you'll ever wear"