Sadly, some of the show's characters are getting a little long in the tooth.  For example, Big Bird is now wearing feather plugs.  

Jewy McJewstein and his huge bag of gold.  “By the power of my payis, I shall smite thee!  I’m gonna knock this shegetz right in his un-brissed blintz!”

Ulysses O’Flaherty who fights with a sack of potatoes and Catholic Guilt.  “Oh, no more dilly-dallying with te mitts!  I’m still tree sheets to da wind from the wake of the last guy I fought!”

Baba Ali, the Indian boxer who learned to fight in the slums of Mumbai. “Latika!!!”

White-Angst Mac: who fights with the strength of 10 lawyers trying to win back custody of Mac’s daughter.  “Did anyone see that Law and Order about the boxer?  What else was that guy in?”

Jafar from Aladdin.  (I think they actually did this one.)

From philosowii.tumblr.com

I work this promo job with all these characters. Most everyone is pretty cool though and I love my boss. But there are some people on the job that man…..One such duo is Tweedle Dumb and Tweedle Dumbass. They are these two best friends that work and live and do everything else together and they are always saying and doing stupid things. I didn’t gel with them at the get go so instead of seeking conflict I didn’t work on their same corner. The second player (because Tweedle Dumb and Tweedle Dumbass are one in the same)s tory is my promo partner who frequently talked about/texted her boyfriend on the job. Her big priorities in life are having men obsess over her, having trivial problems, her social life, wearing sunglasses so people cant see her doing a promo job, and last but certainly not least getting her drink on. I decided aside from being a little bit of a dipstick she wasn’t that bad. Well it all exploded yesterday.

Though I love my boss I hated the early morning hours we were forced to work, 6:45 am, not standup comedian friendly. So Tweedle Dumb and Tweedle Dumbass arrive as always smiling with that empty headed look in their eyes like nothing is going on and are already singing and completing each others sentences. No, they are not homeless, just out of work actors. In some ways even more annoying. So Tweedle Dumb tells our boss she is going to snot on him. WTF!?!?!!? I have not heard that since I was seven years old. Me and another one of the black chicks exchange glances like we are not going to say. Well Tweedle Dumbass replies, “No I will spit on you.” To which Tweedle Dumb replies, “I will snot on you And they start a nonsense argument between themselves. I wanted to say something so mean but it was too early in the morning to be an asshole. Yet they were making it so easy.

Well we go on our perspective corners and it is slow as Soho usually is. There is not much traffic. So our boss gives us orders to move and that does happen in promo work so okay. Well there is only one seat in the car. I figured we would all just ride the subway, right? Wrong!

So my dipstick partner goes, “I am just going to say it. I call the car.” I was like whatever. Was it a little self centered and stupid, yes. But having known her for almost two weeks I kinda would expect nothing less. Nonetheless it was early in the morning so I really didn’t care. So my dipstick corner partner jumps in his car and Tweedle Dumb says, “Its only two stops.” And Tweedle Dumbass echoes her by saying, “Two stops.” And then my dipstick partner overhears this and says, “Are they talking about me? What did they say?” I told her not to worry about it. Today was the last day of the promo and plus I have my own problems. And they really didn’t say anything. So this dipstick keeps nagging me and that’s when I go on the train, whatever.

When we get off the train I wanna bang this thing out and get my break and finish the promo. Despite the fact they are paying a large portion of my rent I am so over the promo itself since the weather has sucked. So this dipstick and I go to our corner. And then she keeps nagging me again and again and again and wont let up. I keep telling her it doesn’t matter what they said. Its our last day working with those two and who cares if there is bad blood? After this we never have to see them. And we didn’t even have to work with them directly. I didn’t like them but I was still able to be civil.

Finally after fifteen minutes of this dipstick nagging me I break down. I can no longer take it. That’s when I tell her about the simple exchange and then she says, “I have to clear the air with them.” And being the sane one I tell her after today it wont matter and who cares? Just do your damn job. Well she marches over to Tweedle Dumb and Tweedle Dumb ass and they start to have it out. First grade insults are flying around. I believe someone was called a meanie and someone else was called a poop head. I kid you not. As I am walking past them Tweedle Dumbass says, “Well we hear you talking about us. Its going around.” Meanwhile one of the black chicks is trying to interject to add some sense of this dumb white dramatic mess. She says, “Its too early in the morning for this. This is the last day of the promo. Not now.”

That’s when I decide to be the adult and get involved because hell, the dipstick already dragged me in. So I turn to Tweedle Dumb and Tweedle Dumbass and say, “Not only don’t we talk about you, but we really don’t give a fuck about what you do.” And this leaves Tweedle Dumb and Tweedle Dumbass speechless. It’s a concept that blows the one brain cell each of them has. So then after the dipstick walks away I asked her what the hell happened. She says, “I don’t want to talk about it.” I look at her like okay. Then I tell her “We are talking about this because you dragged me into it.” That’s when she turns away from me and starts pouting. WTF?!?! This is something I would expect from my younger cousins and even they are much better behaved. That’s when I tell her to piss off and go to her own corner.

I end up working the corner with the other black chick who got the rep as the crazy one in the whole team. But as the promo ended I realized she wasn’t so bad. She did her own thing, her own work, and she didn’t resort to seven year old behavior. I told her about the mad dramaz that went down and she laughed. She agreed the dipstick asked for it by getting in the car, people were going to say something. And of course perhaps it was for our boss to say something but the whole thing went down so fast and bam….she was in the damn car. The whole thing had me frustrated that I wanted to punch dipstick in the face and knock the heads of Tweedle Dumb and Tweedle Dumbass together. But as I said it was the last day of the promo and my boss was mad cool. I will miss him and the two black chicks as well as the little Indian girl. But not Tweedle Dumb and Tweedle Dumbass and the dipstick. Perhaps they should road trip and commit a bunch of bank robberies. That way they would certainly be world’s dumbest criminals and I would make a few bucks because they are as dumb as they come. Gosh, thank God for brain power. Love April

A high school principal in Southern California canceled a school production of Rent to prevent portrayals of homosexual characters. Hopefully she'll accept my puppet show alternative, Avenue Q. Nothing says wholesome, non-gay fun more than an acting troupe singing with their hands shoved up the back of a same-sex muppet.

A new museum created by the folks who give us the Animal Planet network have named three great, late comics to the Animal Planet Hall of Fame - John Candy, John Belushi and Hunter S. Thompson. A scientific expert on all Mammalian species says in some funny way, these three characters are related to each other but have no direct or indirect relation to any other Mammalians

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A man-sized talking rabbit appeared on television in Gaza [recently] to denounce Danish newspapers over cartoons of the Prophet Mohammad that offended Muslims.

The latest in a line of cartoon-inspired characters that take the message of the Hamas Islamist movement to Palestinian children, the actor in the Bugs Bunny-style outfit also railed against "Zionist filth" and Israel's control of Jerusalem.

"We will liberate al-Aqsa mosque from the Zionists' filth," said Assud, whose name means Little Lion...

Though some parents are uneasy about the show's message it has proved popular with children, not only in Hamas-controlled Gaza but also in the Israeli-occupied West Bank. One girl called Rasha said she was phoning in from Bethlehem, near Jerusalem: "Who has sabotaged the world if not the Zionist plans?" she sang down the line to the studio in Gaza. Dancing and singing along, Assud the rabbit chimed in: "They have bombarded us."