Archeologists unearthed an Egyptian temple of the ancient cat goddess, giving many a better understanding of why god is so frequently sleeping on the job.

Animal protection advocates want to replace Puxsutawney Phil with a robot. Dr. Robotnik is reportedly interested in the job. 

The NCAA is requiring that the Florida State football team vacate 12 wins for cheating.  Despite their urgent pleas, none of the victories are being transferred to the New Jersey Nets.

A New York City fourth-grader was sent to the principal's office and nearly suspended for bringing a 2-inch toy gun to school.  Nine-year-old Patrick Timoney and a friend were playing with Legos in the cafeteria at Public School 52 in Staten Island on Tuesday when Patrick produced the tiny plastic machine gun and put it in the hands of a plastic police officer.  After Patrick's mother got a call from the school, his parents met with the principal and persuaded her not to discipline him if he agreed to leave the toy gun at home.  The boy's father, also named Patrick Timoney, says principal Evelyn Mastroianni "went overboard."  ***MARLAR: The toy police officer has been suspended for not confiscating the gun from the fourth-grader. 

40000 word vocabulary used to communicate, however kids today use 8000 no wonder my grand kids don't understand me when I speak!

So in 1992 Michael Jordan called up Magic Johnson and asked "Hey, wanna come play poker in Barcelona for two weeks?"

"Sure, why not."

"Okay, great. But there's a catch. We have to take three hours to beat Angola by 80."

Did you know Angola has a basketball team? Well they don't!

Tim Tebow, the Heisman winning quarterback, will be starring in a superbowl ad this Sunday stating his opposition to abortion, because his mother and father decided not to abort him.  Leaving aside the question of whether they were right or wrong, the fact is, both of his parents were itinerant preachers, wandering around the country "evangelizing" about Christ, while preventing young Tim from attending school....That's called "homeschooling".....Ya know I should tell my boss about "vacation-working"....Anyway,

Tim Tebow could recite the laws of Newtonian physics directly from the textbook and I would raise an eyebrow...........

He could tell me that the 8-sided red signs at the ends of many streets are stop signs, and I'd be highly skeptical.....

For Heaven's sake, Tim Tebow could tell me that the sun rises in the east and I'd think he was full of shit!