Cuba is trying to rekindle its relationship with Russia.The government is hoping to get some Cubans involved in the Russian space program.If all goes well,they will explore the final frontier as Castronauts.

North Korea's President, Kim Jong il, has apologized to Cuba's Fidel Castro for a test missile that went astray and blew up Havana's largest Used '55 Caddy dealership, including its important parts department. The missile had been intended to hit a Hyundai dealership in Newark, New Jersey!

A new photo of ailing Communist leader Fidel Castro surfaced on Sunday, revealing a more healthy-looking man than in prior photos.

This is due to a low-fat diet, a strict regimen of vitamins and a new version of Photoshop.

So what will Castro use to write his memoirs on?  

In related news, two Havana boys were given life sentences for TP'ing Castro's house.   

Officials say the couple received very little money for their services but last year Castro did present them with a 1967 Buick. 

I work at a Mexican restaurant and tommorrow is Cinco De Mayo.  I told my co-worker that we're going to be really busy and he said they're going to be even busier in Mexico.  I said, "why is that, because Cinco De Mayo is a National Holiday in Mexico" ,  and he said, "no, because of the Swine Flu"  . 

Everything was going well, until the 82-year old ex-President of Communist Cuba started demanding too much. Said U.S. Rep Marcia Fudge, "I felt he was just blowing smoke up my ass!" 

The news caused a 35 percent drop in the stock price of Havana Rafts and Inner Tubes.

Big socialist rally at a stadium on Berkley Campus.  The crowd is huge. Attendees are hippie throwbacks, Berkley liberals, every pervert imaginable, all of Hollywood, and of course MSNBC.  Two Greek columns on the stage.  The crowd is waiting in anticipation.  Suddenly, the lightning strikes; the entire place fills with smoke; sparks are everywhere.  Out of nowhere, above the crowd, appears a giant, ghostly figure.  Floating above the stadium, the figure begins to talk, in a booming, rolling voice:

"I have bestowed a new doctrine upon thee!"
"Thou shall worship me and no other!"
"Thou shall covet thy neighbor's wealth, and thou shall enforce the mandatory tithing upon thy neighbor to the higher authority. The higher authority shall distribute thy and thy neighbor's wealth with wisdom!"
"Thou shall not succumb to the false temptation of profit!"
"Thou shall only abort thy first-born no later that the twelfth month after conception!"
"Thou shall bow down to my apostles Karl Marx, Fidel Castro, Che Guevara, and Vladimir Lenin!"

One of the throwback hippies, elbow nudges Cris Mathews and asks,
"Is this.....  Is this......"
Chris Mathews replies, "No - that's only God.  Sometimes he thinks he's Barack Obama!"