Carson as Carnac the Magnificent held up the envelope to his head, divined the answer -- "Yes and no, pro and con, for and against" -- opened the envelope and said, "Describe Jimmy Carter's position on three major issues."
 

Hamilton Jordan was Jimma Carters press sect , and was caught doing cocaine in his White House  office

Question:  What did Hamilton Jordan and Roslin Carter have in common?

Answer:  They both blew a little dope in the White House. 

When Jimmy and Roslin made love while in the Whitehouse,  why was Roslin always on top?

Ans:   Jimmy could only fuckup 

The Jimmy Carter Presidential Museum reopened this month after a major renovation that shifted emphasis to his post-presidency, since those were the years when he accomplished the most. After he dies there will be another renovation, to highlight how much more good he’ll be accomplishing than when he was alive.

Ex president Jimmy Carter wants Obama to take Hamas off the terror list.

Thats funny,most Americans would like Jimmy off the ex presidents list.

Amber Carter, 35, a fourth-grade teacher had a side job as a prostitute. The woman stated that the only reason she became a teacher was because the ‘dressing like a school girl’ routine was getting old.

Coincidentally, President Bush also had his bicycle stolen recently.  Police were perplexed because thieves don't usually target bikes with training wheels.  

Jimmy Carter and his wife just had their bicycles stolen while vacationing in Florida. It is speculated the thieves were members of the Olympic triathalon squad in 1980.

Barack Obama's Kenyan family has announced that when Obama wins, they will sacrifice bulls, chickens and goats to honor the victory.

And we thought Jimmy Carter had some embarrassing relatives.