Hang in there.
 
The forest was full of Pine Trees thick as grass with a dirt road that led the fox up the path. The fox was collard by a leash of a chain. If you were to see the fox on a picture 20 feet in width, you would notice the chain of leash extended with no one in sight. The fox was not tired of being held by this chain for he had done it many times before. The fox was strong now and could smell he was on the right path. The fox had just made it up a light incline through the forest on the dirt grassy road.  He knew the holder of his leash was no where in site to be sure.. he had lost sight of the holder of the leash once he had made it around the bend in the road and hurried over the top of the hill.. The fox glanced back to be sure and looked over his right shoulder and all he could see was the leash that was still pulled tight off the ground pulling to the left tight around the bend in the road. The  fox knew this time by instinct his senses were right. As the fox traveled up further through the black forest his paws could feel the dirt and his sensitive smell made him turn to a look again behind. His nose sensed and saw three wild ducks or chickens crossing the path he moments before had passed. The fox said to himself screw them, I could eat them all if I wanted too but he pressed onward. The vibrations were getting to fabricate in his ears and he moved more swiftly towards the humming. All of a sudden the humming of the Queen bee engulfed his whole fox senses. At that moment a gigantic Queen bee appeared before the fox, and at that moment the collar was released from the fox and all the weight of the world and the chain dropped for the first time in years as the Queen bee carried the fox off to a pot of Honey and dropped him in. The honey tasted so good.
Thank you Mister Richards said the man behind the desk. Welcome to our company. Mr. Richards reached out his hand and shook the hand of the owner of the largest clothes manufacturer in the world and said thank you sir for hiring me. As Mr. Richards left the lobby and walked out into the street. He looked up to the Heavens and said “Thank You God, I’m glad that’s over.”
 
Scot Marinick

During his acceptance speech, I thought Brown got a little carried away and went overboard in his promises.  He said he would do whatever it takes to locate Osama bin Laden and Tiger Woods. 

Chinese people who live in government-sponsored housing in a prosperous southern province may be evicted if caught repeatedly spitting in public, according to a draft plan.  The plan, carried on the Guangzhou Land and House Management Bureau's website (www.laho.gov.cn), also includes littering, making too much noise and gambling among more than 20 other "misdeeds" that would lead to eviction, based on a point system.  ***MARLAR: We have a similar thing here in America.  It’s called “college.”

Carrie Underwood just announced her engagement to hockey player Mike Fisher.  Bookies have started taking bets on whether or not she'll dress as Princess Leia for the wedding day.  

Police in the San Francisco area are trying to hunt down a prankster who has phoned in nearly 2,000 fake emergency calls to 911.  Authorities say the man who identifies himself as "Nomar" has reported being a victim of everything from a drug overdose and a possible heart attack to robbery and attempted suicide. A police spokesman says because they can't determine it's a false call, they send people out. The fake calls have tied up dispatchers and sent police and firefighters on wild goose chases.  Police have determined the phone originated with a company in Oklahoma that donated old employee cell phones to an organization that distributes them to the homeless. The phone has no service carrier, which has prevented investigators from discovering any further personal information about the caller.  Investigators are documenting all the calls in hopes of eventually prosecuting the man.  ***MARLAR: At which point he’ll be punished by his phone number being given to all of the world’s telemarketers.

Tiger Woods sent in his Christmas list to Santa today .  " Oh please Santa if I promise to be a good Boy will you please send me all those hot chicks from the Girls Next Door - Kendra, Bridget, Holly, Kristina, Karissa, and Crystal . Also Santa I would love to have  Carrie Prejean, Lady GaGa, Heidi Klum, Charlize Theron, and the tall Blonde that crashed the White House party last week ." ... A very annoyed Santa wrote back , " Tiger, because you have been such a naughty Boy this past year I'm sending you Oprah Winfrey, Whoopi Goldberg, and Gabourey 'Gabby' Sidibe "

In Prior Lake, Minnesota, Robert and Roberta Masters have been arrested and charged with a series of mailbox explosions over last summer. Police say the explosions were actually carried out by seven teenagers who had been given pipe bomb supplies by the couple. According to the report, Mr. Masters bought black powder for the kids and had said it "would be a good educational tool for them to build pipe bombs." Mrs. Masters allegedly encouraged the teens to learn on the Internet how to make pipe bombs because it would be "constructive." If it makes you feel any better she did say she had told them to "be careful!" ***MARLAR: Now Mr. and Mrs. Masters will get a good education on what it’s like to spend some time in jail.  It’s okay though, because it’ll be “constructive” – and they were told to “be careful.”

You are the carrier bag and life is one big supermarket. Now you're fully engrossed in that analogy, I want you to think of me as the store announcer. I yell "Attention Wal Mart shoppers"Clean up at all cash registers". 

 A true measure of economic under-development for America.

...Carrie Prejean says making her infamous sex tape was the biggest mistake of her life.  The 2nd biggest was making the other 6 sex tapes.  

It was insanity at CNN in Atlanta yesterday.  First, that ancient anchorman with the bad caps quit his job.  Next, the sex tape video-breast implant-California wacko Carrie Prejean nearly walked off The Larry King Show. The two of them were introduced  in the hallway: "Lou Dobbs, meet "New Knobs"!