A local guy is in the process of forming a group to promote breast feeding--for adult men.

   His tentative slogan:  "Human breast milk, a super-nutritious food--and udderly delicious!"

   A defensible viewpoint, to be sure.  Though it does seem an awful lot like taking candy from a baby. 

In 2001 the F.B.I. investigated Anna Nicole Smith in an alleged plot to kill E.Pierce Marshall, her late husband's son .  Anna told Federal Agents, " Just because i own a .357 Magnum revolver doesn't mean i would have used it on him . If i really wanted to kill Mr. Marshall, i would have boobie-slapped him to death and gotten away with it . "   A tearful Smith went on to say,  " How the hell did i wind-up with such a bastard son-in-law that was twice my own age, anyway ? "

Miss July is stacked, but I can't decide if her boobs are fiction or non-fiction. 

In a farewell speech today, Sarah Palin told reporters just how happy she was to be out of politics .  " Now i don't have to prove to anyone how smart i am .  I don't how to answer any stupid questions about what books i read, places i visited, or famous people i know about . All i have to do is show off my boobies and watch those checks come rollin'  in . "

An Open Letter to a Chick in the Subway To a chick who couldn't have been any older than 22, waiting with her friends to shove their way from a densely packed subway platform on 42nd Street and Times Square, into an even more densely packed car on the Bronx-bound 1 train at 6:28pm this evening. Nice tits. No, really. I mean that. Those were some mighty fine jugs. I'm assuming that's what you were going for with the fully unzipped winter coat and the thin, swoop-neck t-shirt (most likely purchased from American Apparel) that showcased your cleavage to anyone with functioning eyes, right? On a day where the wind chill had the temperature at 20 degrees below zero, on a subway platform with a world-renowned reputation for being anywhere between ten to twenty degrees worse than whatever the situation is outside. Yes? No? Surely that was your intent, wasn't it? So who would I be to allow your day to be completely in vain? So yeah - that was one bangin' rack you were showcasing, right there - with your arms akimbo, making certain your knee-length winter coat with the faux-fur trim stayed open for everyone to see. I doubt anybody even noticed the sweatpants. Why, as I descended the steps from a connecting R train from 6th Avenue and was blessed with the full sight of all your breastified glory, I was half-inclined to take out a pen, hold it overhead, and let it drop just to see if it would hold fast right between the twins. I decided against it at the last second, though. Mainly because I like my pens. Please don't take it personally, it's not meant as a knock on your tits. And I don't doubt for a second that you're very proud of them, either, as well you should be. Considering the slightly crooked teeth, the greasy, lifeless hair and the dark circles under the eyes and the undoubted burning hatred you might have towards your father...well hey, gotta hang onto those things that'll keep people noticing you. So again, to a chick who couldn't have been any older than 22, waiting with her friends to shove their way from a densely packed subway platform on 42nd Street and Times Square, into an even more densely packed car on the Bronx-bound 1 train at 6:28pm this evening...and I say this without any alterior motive save to pass along a heartfelt compliment...rockin' boobies. Kudos. Now zip up, for Chrissake. It's freezing.

 

Jenna Jameson has given birth to twin boys. She was walking to Starbucks when the two fell out of her over-stretched vagina.

As a Pittsburgh native I wanted to explain why we don't have cheerleaders. Instead we have a bunch of overweight men with boobs bigger than any cheerleaders. And unlike cheerleaders,they are shirtless no matter what the weather.