So said self confessed sex-addicted, Tiger Woods as he left the rehab clinic today . " I know without a doubt in my mind I am 100% cured of my need to hump beautiful Blonde White Women . As part of my treatment I was not allowed to talk to anyone on the outside or have access to TV or Radio . While I was away my agent picked up a major new product endorsement for me  . On Sunday, I will become the new offical spokesman for Toyota at the Superbowl . Right now,  I just can't wait to get my hands on a couple of  Young, Smokin'-Hot, Small-Boobed, Oriental Babes I met at the Auto Show last month  ! "

In the News--Breast Implant bombs are now the next terrorist threat.  Gives new meaning to the term "Check out those Bazookas!"

You are not going to get it anymore.  Nyah-na-ne na-na.

I didn't know how to spell Nyah-na-ne na-na in chinese.

Republican Version: 

Democratic version: 

...I dated a centerfold for a while but it got to be too much. We were always hounded by people wanting to take her picture.  She was a National Geographic centerfold, a real beauty with long legs, big boobs, and flies.   

there are two advantages to being fat. 

number one: if your trying to sneak shit into an airplane thats not allowed, you can just hide it in your fat, believe me, the airport police do NOT want to reach under those man boobs. i know that through experience...

 number two: you will always get invited if people are going to somewhere cold, they will think of you as their taun-taun 

moral: 1st option, if your fat and your going to die in the cold, make yourself useful.           

How do I apply for one of those full body scanning jobs???