'Twas the night after Thanksgiving
and all through the nell,
not a creature was stirring
except Tiger on his cell.
Elin was stalking her man to find more.
With hopes to catch Cheetah texting
his whore.
The moms' in their nighties
laid down for some sleep,
Elin continued her search for that creep.
When all through the house
there arose such a clatter!
Elin found his golf clubs,
his face she would shatter!
Neighbors ran to there windows,
tore open the curtain,
Holy shit! It was Tiger
screaming and hurtin'!
Barefoot he sprinted barely
touching the grass.
Madly hoping and praying to save his own ass.
Help Jesus, help Buddah, Oprah, Tom Cruise!
Somebody please save me from the
obituary news!
Elin swift on his heels
screaming, swinging and crying,
I'll kill you, you Cheetah!
I knew you were lying!
A smack to his forehead,
crunch went his teeth.
OMG! Elin!
I never did cheat!
Tiger ran to the car,
tore open the door.
Crash went a window!
That's for your whore!
He glanced in the mirror,
chill ran through his bones.
The sight of white lightening,
with shrill, angry moans.
Yanked from the car
by inhumane power,
The rest was a blur,
He'll find out in the morrow.
Sirens came screaming.
On arrival they stopped,
snoring and dreaming layTiger
right where he dropped.
His beautiful angel,
silently there at his side,
What was he doing,
the officers asked.
Her blue eyes sparked
as she replied,
I really don't know,
He just went for a ride.
Silent night...