Allen Iverson has placed phone calls with the Knicks and the Bobcats. Up next, the Suicide Hotline.

Includes an updated version of a holiday classic, "I'm dreaming of a Sammy Sosa Christmas."

Sponge Bob has bought the naming rights to the famous equation:

E=mc2.It will now be referred to, as E=mc2pants. 

My dad heard a Bob Marley cover on TV and shook his head saying "Nope. Only Bob Marley can sing that song."

I disagree. Anybody but Bob Marley can sing that song, because he's dead. 

Bobby Knight has declined an invitation to attend his induction into the Indiana University Hall of Fame. He became disinterested when he realized all seats for the event would be bolted down.

This is a warning to all the kids who stop at Dick Cheney's house this Halloween.You will NOT,I repeat NOT,be bobbing for apples.It's one of his water torture come-ons.

However, I'm most definitely not going to see "Splooge Bob Square Pants."

It's too bad Bob Dylan's Christmas album wasn't released during the Bush administration.   Al-Qaeda terrorists would have given up all their secrets.

One Colorado county clerk has an unusual response to staff cuts caused by budget shortfalls: Don’t answer the phones. The El Paso County Clerk and Recorder’s Office stopped answering telephones in three offices last month. The change was ordered by County Clerk Bob Balink, who was forced to lay off 19 staffers late last year. El Paso county resident Jason Marriot was asked what he thought of the new policy. His only comment “How is that any different than what they used to do?”

Authorities say a store owner and a patron thwarted a teen accused of trying to carry out a robbery by concealing a banana beneath his shirt to resemble a gun. Winston-Salem authorities said the 17-year old entered the Internet café Thursday and demanded money, saying he had a gun. The owner Bobby Ray Mabe, said he and a customer jumped the teen, holding him until deputies arrived. In a related story a teen was attacked at a Starbucks in Charlotte, by the female manager and her female assistant. Both of them were heard yelling “I know it’s not a gun it’s a banana” Onlookers were shocked to discover that the concealed weapon was neither a gun nor a banana, but rather the teenagers large man member. Police later confirmed that the teenager decide not to press charges and seemed to have a silly grin on his face.