I wanted to wish everyone a happy Black History Month.

Black History Month...or, as the Republicans call it...February.

Morning rush hour took an alarming turn Monday as a single-engine plane made an emergency landing on the New Jersey Turnpike.

Neither the pilot nor his passenger, a traffic reporter for Philadelphia media outlets, was injured.

When NJ State Troopers arrived on the scene, they immediately arrested the pilot… because he was black. 

Let's just cut to the punchline here.  I need to focus on a stupendous display of idiocy; The WBC.  No, this is not a media outlet, it is not a new political faction, it is not a new Pro Wrestling nor MMA Production.  This is Westboro Baptist Church.  These are the "God Hates Fags" morons that go around protesting Funeral Services of military service men and women because they believe that God hates homosexuals sooooo much that he is killing our soldiers to punish us for being a country full of people who accept/tolerate (whatever, you get the picture) homosexuals.  He is punishing us for our complacency...one IED at a time.  Gotcha. 

Okay, first, do these people even read The Holy F--king Bible?  Don't these assholes realize that the last time God was pissed off with flamers he turned Sodom & Gomorrah into dust? Do you think that God did that one soldier at a time?  I' not thinking so.  I'm thinking it was probably something grossly more catastrophic than that.  Further, if he could pick off one soldier at a time, could he not also pick off one homosexual at a time?  So, if he's so mad with homosexuals, then why not pick them off?  Makes a little more sense to go direct to the source.  I'm not suggesting that's a good idea, just trying to make a point.  I have nothing against anyone for their sexuality.  I simply don't care that much about a person's sexuality with the exception of the fact that I LOVE LOVE LOVE (written with a lisp) to make fun of flamboyant men.  Sorry, it's just the way it is.  Chinese people are bad drivers, too. Those fawkers are hilarious.  I almost spit up my tuna salad sandwich at Jersey Mike's subs while watching a very flamboyant man order his sandwhich.  He was a black man with an accent.  Perhaps Nigerian.  I know, it's already hilarious.  He was dressed in khaki pants and a loud button-up shirt with Aussie-style cowboy boots.  He also had those crazy contacts that make your pupils look like star-bursts.  He was on the phone the entire time that he ordered his sandwich, paid for it and exited--never put the phone down.  What an ass, right?  Anyway, this guy starts dancing, like two-stepping and shimming his hips and wriggling his butt to the music that was playing the sub shop, seemingly oblivious to the fact that he's doing it, all the while talking on the phone and ordering a sandwich. Freakin' hilarious!  But I digress....

Back to the WBC. These people showed up outside the Twitter office in San Fransisco (they must have thought they made it to the belly of the beast of the 8th Boglia of Hell!).Why are they protesting Twitter?   Here's the quote from one protester, "Twitter should be used to tell the punks of doomed America that God hates you!"  What?  I'm speechless.  That is so far beyond retarded that I don't know how to respond.  Seriously.

So, here's the really good part.  Apparently, the 9 intelligent people of San Francisco who had nothing to do that day decided to gather to PROTEST the protesters, making a mockery oft he WBC.  These folks were holding signs that said, "God Hates Ponies" and "Sodomy is So Much Fun," just to name a couple.  Love it!  Frickin awesome.

It took less than 30 minutes for the WBC to abandon their Twitter Protest. LMAO!

 Anywho, I don't pretend to know God's intentions nor his preference about people's sexuality, but I can tell you I'm pretty sure that I know what he thinks about assholes.  

Actor Rip Torn – best known for his roles in Men in Black and Dodgeball – has been released on bail and will enter rehab after his arrest for breaking into a bank in Connecticut while armed with a gun. 

According to court reports, Torn, 78, was allegedly so intoxicated that he believed he was at home and had left his hat and boots by the door.

He was arrested on Friday night after he was found inside the Litchfield Bancorp bank with a loaded revolver.

Torn was charged with burglary, criminal trespass and weapons offenses, but was released on $100,000 bail and ordered to undergo alcohol rehabilitation.

Apparently, if you can dodge a wrench, you can dodge prison! 

A visitor to the MMoA in NYC slipped and fell onto a 100 year old Picasso; cutting a six-inch slit through the canvas. This is the second painting by the Spanish master in the last 3 yrs to be damaged or destroyed. Art historians now refer to these works as Picasso's "Black and Blue" period....

 Hang in there.
 
The forest was full of Pine Trees thick as grass with a dirt road that led the fox up the path. The fox was collard by a leash of a chain. If you were to see the fox on a picture 20 feet in width, you would notice the chain of leash extended with no one in sight. The fox was not tired of being held by this chain for he had done it many times before. The fox was strong now and could smell he was on the right path. The fox had just made it up a light incline through the forest on the dirt grassy road.  He knew the holder of his leash was no where in site to be sure.. he had lost sight of the holder of the leash once he had made it around the bend in the road and hurried over the top of the hill.. The fox glanced back to be sure and looked over his right shoulder and all he could see was the leash that was still pulled tight off the ground pulling to the left tight around the bend in the road. The  fox knew this time by instinct his senses were right. As the fox traveled up further through the black forest his paws could feel the dirt and his sensitive smell made him turn to a look again behind. His nose sensed and saw three wild ducks or chickens crossing the path he moments before had passed. The fox said to himself screw them, I could eat them all if I wanted too but he pressed onward. The vibrations were getting to fabricate in his ears and he moved more swiftly towards the humming. All of a sudden the humming of the Queen bee engulfed his whole fox senses. At that moment a gigantic Queen bee appeared before the fox, and at that moment the collar was released from the fox and all the weight of the world and the chain dropped for the first time in years as the Queen bee carried the fox off to a pot of Honey and dropped him in. The honey tasted so good.
Thank you Mister Richards said the man behind the desk. Welcome to our company. Mr. Richards reached out his hand and shook the hand of the owner of the largest clothes manufacturer in the world and said thank you sir for hiring me. As Mr. Richards left the lobby and walked out into the street. He looked up to the Heavens and said “Thank You God, I’m glad that’s over.”
 
Scot Marinick

Peyton Manning, after living a full life, died and went to heaven. 

When he got to heaven, God was showing him around. 

They came to a modest little house with a faded Colts flag in

 the window. "This house is yours for eternity. Peyton", said God. 

"This is very special; not everyone gets a house up here."
Peyton felt special indeed, and walked up to his house. 

On his way up the porch, he noticed another house just around

 the corner. It was a 3-story mansion with a black and gold 

sidewalk, a 50-foot tall flagpole with an enormous Saints logo flag,

 and in eery window, a New Orleans Saints towel.
Peyton looked at God and said "God, I'm not trying to be ungrateful,

 but I have a question, I was an all-pro QB, I hold many NFL records,

 and I even been in the Hall of Fame."
God said, "So what's your point Peyton?"
"Well, why does Drew Brees get a better house than me?"

God chuckled, and said "Peyton, that's not Drew's house, it's MINE."

A chicken playing chicken? That's what's happening on a busy Glendale, California street where a black hen has been dodging cars, captors and coyotes for two months. Officials say the bird has been darting into traffic outside Glendale Community College since it was first reported Nov. 20. The chicken has drawn a growing crowd of photographers and journalists as animal control officers struggle to catch it.  ***MARLAR: Darting in and out of traffic and dodging coyotes?  Are they sure this isn’t a road runner?

Dr. J has put his Utah mansion on the market for $2.25 million. And just like that, there are no more black people in Utah.