Humane officers say a Pennsylvania women marketed “gothic kittens” with ear, neck and tail piercing over the Internet. Officers with the Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals removed three kittens and a cat Wednesday from a home outside Wilkes-Barre, about 20 miles southwest of Scranton. In a related story, Laura Koenig of Altoona is marketing her line of “biker bitches”. The female cats and kittens will arrive at your doorstep ready to crap on your floor, drink large amounts of beer and spread goodwill to any and all male animals.

As part of his "King for Kids" charity bike-a-thon, LaBron James traveled through the streets of Ohio this week, which really isn't much different than what he does during the basketball games he plays in Ohio during the NBA season...

So...I'm in the middle of trying to eat my lunch, juggle my faxes, sort my emails, clear my voice mails and text messages AND I have two calls on the go and this cop pulls me over...as if I didn't have enough on my plate!  So he asks me if I was a 'wise guy'...

I didn't know how to answer...

Shaquille O'Neal has challenged Lance Armstrong in a bike race. Shaq plans on carrying his.

- A person who can't remember to walk the dog but never forgets a phone number.

- A weight watcher who goes on a diet by giving up candy bars before breakfast.

- A youngster who receives her allowance on Monday, spends it on Tuesday, and borrows it from her best friend on Wednesday.

- Someone who can hear his favorite singer 3 blocks away but not his mother calling from the next room.

- A whiz who can operate the latest computer without a lesson but can't make a bed.

- A student who spends 12 minutes studying history and 12 hours studying for her driver's license.

- A connoisseur of 2 kinds of fine music--loud and very loud.

- An enthusiast who has the energy to bike for miles but is usually too tired to dry the dishes.

- A young woman who loves the cat and tolerates the brother.

- A romantic who never falls in love more than once a week.

- A budding beauty who never smiles until her braces come off.

- A boy who can sleep till noon on any Saturday he suspects the lawn needs mowing.

- An original thinker who is positive that her mother was never a teenager.

Coincidentally, President Bush also had his bicycle stolen recently.  Police were perplexed because thieves don't usually target bikes with training wheels.  

Fox News anchor Gerald Gefstofferson today reported that Rupert Murdock was fired today as the second lead drummer for the Lynyrd Skynyrd band.

A Fox News investigative reporting team, which usually focuses on biting animals like small dogs, reported that the big guy himself, Ronnie, returned from the grave to personally fire Murdoch.

"It's pretty amazing that Ronnie returned from the dead to make such a management move," said a very proud younger brother of the great rock 'n roll legend, "Last year, we held a birthday party for my dear brother - like we do every year to celebrate Ron's birthday - he never, ever returns to visit, not even us, his family! We had about 35,000 people at the party - most of them looked to be outlaw bikers 'n such. We even tried to coax Ronnie back by having a really foxy looking biker chick smoke a cigarette with him. It's amazing Big Brother was a no show for even this - and we all know how Ron always has had a real soft spot in his heart for really good looking babes."

If global warming is good for bicycle riding.  Warm and sunny. And if riding a bike helps the global warming problem. If enough people ride a bike then the weather will become cold and rainy again and bad for bike riding.

Caught you George! You like to ride bikes, your old, in the Library with a Gun.

Think the U.S. is still number one?

The Chinese are buying Buicks.

We're buying bikes...

so we can pedal to the supermarket to buy a 1/2 a loaf a bread with food stamps.

And what goes well with bread?

Government cheese.

I'd really like corn on the cob but since the feds decided corn-based ethanol was a brillant solution to our oil addiction it's just too expensive.

The government will get my corn on the cob when they pry it from my cold hungry hand.

I'd like to join the revolution but only on a full stomach.

A black man asked me once “what are you?”  Like I had to be classified as either Democratic or Republican. I did not know how to answer, I never considered that for a moment.  This was back in 84 when I was protesting Abortion Mills.

That’s why I think it is funny when it’s okay for a woman to microwave her baby and it makes front line news, and she gets life in prison.  But to microwave a baby inside her womb is okay. I just do not see the logic.

I do not understand the logic of why Hollywood always votes and pulls for whoever is the democratic leader. It is like Cool to vote for the fool….

Same with Bikers, I never understood their mentality (the dress code) even though my Grandfather rode a Harley back in the 20’ his wife too.  Way to go Grandma! But the whole group thing I never understood.

It’s like the Hollywood group.  Never understood them and never will.

Gore, Clinton’s always made me sick at sight, but they were part of the group thing. Hugging and kissing and dancing and laughing. Just don’t get it. Same with Obama, he is part of the Hollywood group thing.

After 9/11 all of the Hollywood group thing was screaming and scared and asking for help, because the group broke up and they were alone, but a few months later they forgot….The group regrouped and believed they were in control again.

Now they are back at it again.. In the Hollywood groove!

Do they really think it makes a difference who they put in the Whitehouse? Presidents are just puppets. Controlled by others who really pull the strings..