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Search "Beave" returned 7 Jokes
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Chris Martin
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What's Mad Mel up to these days?

By: Chris Martin (C)
Submitted: Sep 29, 2009
Category: Entertainment  
From Hot Topic

Mel Gibson

134 Jokes  4 Videos

What's Mad Mel up to these days?

According to the Daily Mail, "Watching Mel Gibson jogging along the street talking to a beaver puppet, onlookers could be forgiven for wanting to call a psychiatric hospital.

"But the Mad Max star, 53, was simply filming his latest film role - playing a depressed man who believes his beaver puppet is real."

 Next thing you know, he'll believe the Jews are responsible for all the wars in the world.


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Flannigan McGaffigan
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The Beaver's Mel's

By: Flannigan McGaffigan (M)
Submitted: Jul 13, 2009
Category: Entertainment  
From Hot Topic

Mel Gibson

134 Jokes  4 Videos

The Beaver's Mel's

Mel Gibson will star in a new movie called “The Beaver” in which he plays a depressed man who finds solace in wearing a BEAVER HAND PUPPET.  Jodie Foster will not only direct, but will play opposite Gibson as his WIFE.

Though he takes his work seriously, TMZ, given the recent history of infidelity, is ready to “scoop” the story if Gibson’s hand finds it’s way up the wrong beaver!


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Andrew
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Deep Shag

By: Andrew  (M)
Submitted: Jul 4, 2009
Category: Political  Staff Pick!
From Hot Topic

Mark Sanford

38 Jokes

 

So this guy goes to a carpet store. The salesman tells him to take his shoes off and try the different grades of carpet. He steps on the first one and says " Hey, that's pretty nice, what's that?". The salesman says " That's Stainmaster and it's 50 per square yard". The guy steps on the next one and says " That's incredible, what's that?". The salesman says " That's 100% wool and it's 100 per square yard". The guy steps on the next one, a really deep shag, and says "This is amazing. I am in love, what's this?" The salesman says " I can't sell you this, it costs too much." The guy says " Why not?". The salesman says " Governor Sanford, that's Argentinian beaver and it will cost you everything.".


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Andrew
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Deep Shag

By: Andrew  (M)
Submitted: Jul 1, 2009
Category: Political  
From Hot Topic

Mark Sanford

38 Jokes

So this guy goes to a carpet store. The salesman tells him to take his shoes off and try the different grades of carpet. He steps on the first one and says " Hey, that's pretty nice, what's that?". The salesman says " That's Stainmaster and it's 50 per square yard". The guy steps on the next one and says " That's incredible, what's that?". The salesman says " That's 100% wool and it's 100 per square yard". The guy steps on the next one, a really deep shag, and says "This is amazing. I am in love, what's this?" The salesman says " I can't sell you this, it costs too much." The guys says " Why not?". The salesman says " Governor Sanford, that's Argentinian beaver and it will cost you everything.".


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Wild Willy Parsons
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Eager Beavers

By: Wild Willy Parsons (C)
Submitted: Jun 16, 2008
Category: News  
From Hot Topic

Gay and Lesbian

503 Jokes  23 Videos

Eager BeaversLesbian rights activists Del Martin, 87, and Phyllis Lyon, 84, were the first same-sex couple to receive a legal marriage license in San Francisco.

After witnessing them kiss, most of the awaiting "brides to be" ran out to give cock one more shot.

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Mark Jabo
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Dances With Tourists

By: Mark Jabo (C)
Submitted: Dec 7, 2006
Category: News  Staff Pick!
From Hot Topic

Florida

330 Jokes  2 Videos

 


Rank Group, PLC announced it will sell the Hard Rock Cafe chain to the Seminole tribe of Florida for E$725 million (US$965 million, BeaverPelt2.7 trillion).

Collectors are already lining up to order the latest T-shirt: Hard Rock Cafe - Little Big Horn

The new owners are expected to add some new menu items while still keeping the chain restaurant feel.  New menu items include Cherry-kee Cheesecake, Last of the Mochaccinos and Custard's Last Flan.


The tribe doesn't plan any major changes to the restaurants but has said they will no longer accept walk-in business.  You need to have a reservation.


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Con Chapman
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Save the Beavers!

By: Con Chapman (C)
Submitted: Dec 1, 2006
Category: Blogs  
From Hot Topic

Hollywood

175 Jokes  8 Videos

HILTON, SPEARS TO HEADLINE "SAVE THE BEAVERS" BENEFIT

HOLLYWOOD. Paris Hilton and Britney Spears top the list of entertainment industry superstars who will be featured in an environmental charity concert for the Save the Beaver Foundation, according to promoters of the event.

paris-hilton-wallpaper-6.jpg

"Dig, dig, dig!"


"If you had to give an award to the person in the world who's done the most to promote, protect and preserve the beaver, it would be a tie between those two," said impresario Sol Matnick. "We are flattered and honored that they will be displaying their wares on our stage."

beaver.jpg

"Nicole Kidman can't make it?"

The beaver is a semi-aquatic rodent with webbed hind feet and a flat tail that constructs dams and underwater lodges. While considered a nuisance by some for the damage it causes, the term is also used to refer to a woman's pudenda, which is the entrance to a more sought-after enclosure.

britney.jpg

"What's the big deal?  I'm just getting out of the car."

"I'm not sure why they asked me and Britney to appear, but nature sounds like a good cause," Hilton said as she pulled down her skirt in order to exit her limousine. "Nature is what you walk through on your way into a club, right?"

In recent weeks Hilton and Spears have attracted attention by appearing in public without underpants, a fashion trend that clothing industry sources say could hurt retailers' revenues. "First women stopped wearing hats, then came casual Friday and men stopped wearing suits and ties," complained Ellen Gerson, a buyer for the Hart's department store chain. "Once they get into women's underpants, we're screwed."

Copyright 2006, Con Chapman


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