According to the Daily Mail, "Watching Mel Gibson jogging along the street talking to a beaver puppet, onlookers could be forgiven for wanting to call a psychiatric hospital.

"But the Mad Max star, 53, was simply filming his latest film role - playing a depressed man who believes his beaver puppet is real."

 Next thing you know, he'll believe the Jews are responsible for all the wars in the world.

Mel Gibson will star in a new movie called “The Beaver” in which he plays a depressed man who finds solace in wearing a BEAVER HAND PUPPET.  Jodie Foster will not only direct, but will play opposite Gibson as his WIFE.

Though he takes his work seriously, TMZ, given the recent history of infidelity, is ready to “scoop” the story if Gibson’s hand finds it’s way up the wrong beaver!

 

So this guy goes to a carpet store. The salesman tells him to take his shoes off and try the different grades of carpet. He steps on the first one and says " Hey, that's pretty nice, what's that?". The salesman says " That's Stainmaster and it's 50 per square yard". The guy steps on the next one and says " That's incredible, what's that?". The salesman says " That's 100% wool and it's 100 per square yard". The guy steps on the next one, a really deep shag, and says "This is amazing. I am in love, what's this?" The salesman says " I can't sell you this, it costs too much." The guy says " Why not?". The salesman says " Governor Sanford, that's Argentinian beaver and it will cost you everything.".

So this guy goes to a carpet store. The salesman tells him to take his shoes off and try the different grades of carpet. He steps on the first one and says " Hey, that's pretty nice, what's that?". The salesman says " That's Stainmaster and it's 50 per square yard". The guy steps on the next one and says " That's incredible, what's that?". The salesman says " That's 100% wool and it's 100 per square yard". The guy steps on the next one, a really deep shag, and says "This is amazing. I am in love, what's this?" The salesman says " I can't sell you this, it costs too much." The guys says " Why not?". The salesman says " Governor Sanford, that's Argentinian beaver and it will cost you everything.".

HILTON, SPEARS TO HEADLINE "SAVE THE BEAVERS" BENEFIT

HOLLYWOOD. Paris Hilton and Britney Spears top the list of entertainment industry superstars who will be featured in an environmental charity concert for the Save the Beaver Foundation, according to promoters of the event.

"Dig, dig, dig!"

"If you had to give an award to the person in the world who's done the most to promote, protect and preserve the beaver, it would be a tie between those two," said impresario Sol Matnick. "We are flattered and honored that they will be displaying their wares on our stage."

"Nicole Kidman can't make it?"

The beaver is a semi-aquatic rodent with webbed hind feet and a flat tail that constructs dams and underwater lodges. While considered a nuisance by some for the damage it causes, the term is also used to refer to a woman's pudenda, which is the entrance to a more sought-after enclosure.

"What's the big deal?  I'm just getting out of the car."

"I'm not sure why they asked me and Britney to appear, but nature sounds like a good cause," Hilton said as she pulled down her skirt in order to exit her limousine. "Nature is what you walk through on your way into a club, right?"

In recent weeks Hilton and Spears have attracted attention by appearing in public without underpants, a fashion trend that clothing industry sources say could hurt retailers' revenues. "First women stopped wearing hats, then came casual Friday and men stopped wearing suits and ties," complained Ellen Gerson, a buyer for the Hart's department store chain. "Once they get into women's underpants, we're screwed."

Copyright 2006, Con Chapman