The Minnesota Vikings have a very unique way of celebrating victories.

It's always a nice Chianti and Favre beans. 

Richard Heene, who admitted orchestrating the balloon boy hoax, reported to jail Monday to begin a 90-day jail sentence.  Wait a minute, wasn't it Falcon who spilled the beans?

I've always been a cheap date and tonight my wife cooked my favorite meal, beans and hot dogs.  But she really outdid herself tonight and she added a can of crushed pineapples to the beans. 

 Delicious!

Now we're going to have Hawaiian music all night.

This Dialysis Center in my neighborhood has a great promotion to reel in the customers.............Free Kidney Beans! 

What made the Wimbledon line judge cry. "Fault!"?

Andre had a bowl of magic fruit [beans] the night before and was feeling a little Agassi. 

They are calling  Obama, Harper and Calderon the “Three Amigos Summit” or as we Texans call it the “Number Three Dinner”….An Enchilada, with Rice and Beans.

Police in northwestern Pennsylvania say a man broke into a house and the only items taken appeared to be jellybeans.

While police are baffled, the good news is you can win a prize if you can guess the correct amount of jellybeans that were stolen from the house.

The San Diego Padres are now offering fans a special hot dog wrapped in bacon, stuffed with onions, tomatoes, and pinto beans, and served on a potato bun smothered in mayonnaise and jalapeno sauce. It's the perfect snack for fans who love hot dogs but don't want to live to see the seventh inning.
 

We're closed but we plan to open any day now. Keep in mind, we fired the old guard and hired a whole new board of corporate spin doctors who are now spinning a spider's web of economic stimulus packages. These include ciphering off an estimated $780 million originally earmarked for Hurricane Katrina victims in southern Louisiana, Mississippi and Alabama that was inadvertently placed in a slush fund for slimy sea snail research in the Aleutian Islands. Other funding will come from a derivative package put together by a legion of compulsive gamblers who all hold MBAs and were recently released from a federal prison for insider trading deals.

Please note above everything, we fired our old CEO, CFO and Chairman of the Board, who, by the way, was the highest paid Corporate welfare cheat in not only North America, but in the entire Milky Way Galaxy. Yep, we fired the old coot (actually, he was only 29) but all he did was play golf, drink $1,000 fifths of overpriced wine by the crateful and try to accost and dismantle each and every female mammal that crossed his path.

Don’t worry, we have it all covered. We’re blaming George W. Bush and the first and only Ed MacMahon of all U.S. VP's, Dick "Chainsaw" Cheney for all of this, friends. It’s all their fault!!! They’re responsible for the recent hurricanes, recent tectonic plate explosions and the mysterious win, place and show tickets that have placed a slew of losing trotters and pacers in the winner’s circle in recent weeks at Yonkers, Northfield Park, Meadowlands and other equine fantasy fields. That pair of Machiavellian Voodoo doctors! Hyaaaa!

We at the Global Goodtimes Bank say "Good Riddance to Bad Garbage!" Come on in & sit (or set) a spell. We've got the coffee on, er- ah- actually we have hot water, bring `yer own java beans. Actually, we’re in need of a little coffee maker, do any of you have an extra one?

- Global Goodtimes Bank Inc., a community-oriented global Savings and Loan Society