On Thursday, San Francisco Giants pitcher Tim Lincecum was awarded the NL Cy Young by the Baseball Writers Association and High Times Magazine.

120 Major League Baseball players have now filed for free agency. The group includes 45 pitchers, 33 infielders and 27 of Alyssa Milano's ex-boyfriends.

Major League Baseball is upset with the excessive number of mound huddles used by the Yankees during the World Series. Turns out they are just stopping periodically to count their money.
 

Bud Selig has promised to look into baseball's use of instant replay, claiming he's "not afraid of change." Except for his haircut.

Kentucky needs a Major-League Baseball team called the Fried Chickens.

Teenage lefty phenom Yusei Kikuchi rejected a chance to play Major League Baseball and will stay in Japan.  Where his mother will be safe from Steve Phillips.

Major League Baseball has announced that for the World Series, there will be no bottles, cameras, or large backpacks permitted in either stadium.  And no pets, except for the umpires' seeing-eye dogs.

The SEC has suspended one of its football officiating crews. They were immediately hired by Major League Baseball.
 

 Anybody who watches baseball knows that the Pittsburgh Pirates trade away all of their good players every year.  Ok, having said that, here's the joke.  

    Did you hear the news?  The Pirates traded away their mascot for a couple of minor league mascots!

I wonder if Native Americans celebrate Columbus day...It'd be like Detroit celebrating slavery.

There was a sign in the road that said no "U" turns, too bad it left out the cursive "V" turn....or upside down “n” turn......I think I'll take the cursive "V".

I know a genius....to bad he's retarded. 

When I was a kid, soccer was my anti drug, now that i'm all grown up, marijuana is my gateway drug. 

Cocaine is just sugar all grown up....Have you ever had the all grown up frosted flakes? ...............THEY'RRRRRRRRRRRREE... addictive

My girlfriend is so clingy and obsessed, i have a better chance getting rid of herpes than her.

Flies are like the herpes of insects, you can get rid of them for a while, but they always come back...ant's are like crabs....fucking everywhere.

Edible underwear are just fruit roll ups tied into a pretzel.

I'm pretty sure i'm good at drinking....but i don't remember.

I got a golden glove, not in baseball, in boxing....I always caught a good punch...with my face

I hate male porn stars, they make me feel shitty about myself.... and last time i tried to choke a girl like they do, she just kicked the shit out of me.

I tried hard in school....until the second day came.

Guys, I figured out what turns a girl on, the power button.

I'm good at sex, I've gotten every girl I've had sex with to scream “Get Off!!!” interpret that anyway you please.

My mind sucks at wandering....it always gets stuck in the gutter

I live life in the fast lane....of a traffic jam.

(talking to the crowd)Over the years, i've realized i'm a lot funnier the drunker you are......to an extent.

I approach every math problem with the same thing... a blank stare

I was late for work the other day, and my boss asked me why i was late, so i told him i got lost....He asked where....

I don't think prostitutes ever got the bird and the bees talk.

People say God is flawless...Have you ever seen the people from Kentucky??? The big guy forgot to double check that one.

If Jesus was the greatest man to walk the earth, can I be the second best?

I don't think Hitler was loved enough as a child.