Barack Obama goes home to the big butt of Michelle Obama.

President Barack Obama assured American Indians that they have a place  on his agenda, telling tribal leaders they deserve more from their government.   Tribal leaders told the President they need more funding for such things as education, health care, and slot machines.

President Barack Obama signed a joint resolution of the Senate and the House that made Casimir Pulaski an honorary citizen, 230 years after the Polish nobleman died fighting for the American colonies against the British.   In a statement released today, Senator John McCain said, "It was a privilege and honor for me to fight along side this brave man."

In related news, Barack Obama announced he will increase funding for PBS and will appoint Elmo as his new media czar.

Barack and Michelle Obama were startled by several trick-or-treaters wearing white sheets. They initially thought they were members of the Klan.

 The White House is promising that new figures being released Friday will be a more accurate showing of progress in President Barack Obama's economic recovery plan. It aggressively defended an earlier, faulty count that overstated by thousands the jobs created or saved so far.  A sigh of relief came from the Nobel Selection Committee for not giving the Nobel Prize for Mathematics to the President!

   Modern liberal philosophy consists of the following precepts:  George W. Bush, stupid.  Dick Cheney, evil.   Sarah Palin, clueless.

   Admittedly, resentment of a  few  individuals hardly represents the breadth of  leftist thinking.  Therefore, to be comprehensive, I should include:  Barack Obama, good.

   (Joe Biden, asshole, is a bipartisan notion.)

Two Ohio troopers have won back their jobs after being fired for pulling a KKK-type costume prank the day before Martin Luther King Day. An arbitrator ruled the firings violated a union contract. Upon hearing this, President Barack Obama’s cabinet suggested getting the parties together for a drink, but instead the president announced he will blow up the state of Ohio.

MSNBC's Contessa Brewer has apologized for mixing up civil rights activists Jesse Jackson and Al Sharpton.   Unfortunately, this isnt the first time such a mix up has occurred   Last month Barack Obama was in the MSNBC studio and Brewer asked him to pick up her dry cleaning. 

   Blissful supporters of President Barack Obama believe him to be a revolutionary leader every bit the equal of George Washington.

   This claim appears about half-right.

   Obama, after all, cannot tell a lie--from the truth.