For the website Ananova.com, Gwen Stefani discussed the grounding nature of her family with rocker husband Gavin Rossdale.

Interestingly enough, she didn't have that much to say about her 10 month old son Zuma, except "He sh*ts strained bananas. B-A-N-A-N-A-S."

Citing excessive use of force, Mongo, President of Chimps of America, will sue the "anti-chimp" police in Stamford, Connecticut. Mongo admitted that "Travis, a chimp in his 20s and weighing about 200 pounds, did attack his owner, but police used unnecessary force by shooting Travis dead, as he tried to break into a police cruiser."

The Police Chief then called President Obama to find out how Kenya handles these incidents. Obama said, "I only know that chimps love bananas. Have you tried calling a chimpararium?"

                                                      Travis  At Age 16    

Female chimpanzees become more sexually attractive to males as they age, even into old age, according to research published today. Said one male chimp, "Older gals are just easier to deal with when it comes to sex. There are no emotional entaglements or silly games to play. It's understood from the get go we are just friends with bananas."

"Hey, Turkey!  Don't tell those bananas, but I screwed up the Contest Entries page on Daily Comedy!"

"I am the Jim Gaffigan of Paranormal Phenomena"

Charles Buntz is currently dazzling the nation with his powers to communicate to the dead through food. A gift he realized he had when he was just 12 years old after staring at a Creme Brulee for 20 minutes at a french restaurant. "I just want to make people happy, not many people know this but Jesus himself often communicated with his father through a Fig". Buntz also claims that Tofurkey and Bananas are a favorite due to the best connection and fewer dropped calls.

Here's a holiday tip...

Why bother wasting the "good" Thanksgiving food on your "mentally-challenged" relatives?

As you can see, they are just as impressed and grateful for some frozen turkey in a bowl of mashed potatos.

"Yeah I love Thanksgiving," says little Joey (pictured above)

Make sure to keep those bananas at a safe distance and out of Joey's reach.  We all remember that awkward doctor's visit last year. 

Female chimpanzees become more sexually attractive to males as they age, even into old age, according to research published today. Said one male chimp, "Older gals are just easier to deal with when it comes to sex. There are no emotional entaglements or silly games to play. It's understood from the get go we are just friends with bananas."