My wife isn't really a bad cook, she's more just pathetic.  Yesterday I found Lucky Charms floating in my cup of joe.

"What the heck is this, sweetie?" I asked her.

Miffed, she said: "I made you Irish Coffee!"  

Man walks into a church and heads to the confessional.

"Father, I've done something terrible."

Naturally, the priest is comforting.  "Now, son, God forgives all sins if you're truly sorry.  I assure you that nothing you've done is as terrible as some of the things I've heard before." 

The man then confesses to five-year adulterous relationship with a local beautician.

After sighing deeply, the priest says:  "Well, that's pretty bad stuff.  This isn't going to be any three Hail Mary's and an Our Father.  Naturally, you'll have to cut it off."

The man gulps.  "Cut it off?  Surely, there must be something else I can do, Father."

"SINNER!", the priest shouts.  "I'll accept no excuses.  If you're truly sorry you'll cut it off immediately.  If not, there's no absolution for you.  Now, go cut it off right now and come back here and tell me when it's done."

The man, obviously distraught, leaves the confessional in a hurry.  As directed, he returns within the hour.

In a slightly higher voice, he says to the priest.  "Well, Father, I've done it - I've cut it off."

The priest says:  "That's good son.  How did she take it?"   

James Cameron's AVATAR has just sailed past James Cameron's TITANIC to become the highest grossing movie of all time, domestically and internationally.

Wait a minute Avatar is not the grossest movie of all times. John Walters movie PINK FLAMINGOS is. It’s suppose to be funny but it’s grotesque, sick and disgusting. If you don’t believe me Google PINK FLAMINGOS.

Oh, hold on. They didn’t say “grossest”, they said “grossing”. SORRY. My Bad.

Guy dies and heads up to heaven.  St. Peter says, "Well, your record is a bit mixed, Harry. Some good deeds, some bad.  I'm afraid that banging your secretary for the last few months has tipped the scales against you.  It'll take a couple of months in Purgatory to cleanse your soul."

Harry is nonplussed.  "Purgatory? That's nothing.  My wife gave me Hell for doing that." 

 In the "You asked for it, You got it." category...More bad news for Toyota- a reported problem with the brakes on their Prius Hybrid. The good news -the Prius doesn't go fast enough for the brakes to be a major issue.

The two oldest of 19 Duggar children saved the life of a young girl when they pulled her out of a car accident and began CPR to revive her after she had choken on a chicken nugget during the automobile impact.

When asked about the heroic rescue, John, a volunteer fireman, said, "I didn't go out there thinking that today I was going to save the life of a total stranger. I just assumed I was related to her. My bad."

Bad time to be a Toyota owner. Gas pedals get stuck. Breaks in the Prius fail. Even its “new car smell” is noxious.

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http://seanmichaellee.blogspot.com/

http://www.seanmichaellee.com

Let's just cut to the punchline here.  I need to focus on a stupendous display of idiocy; The WBC.  No, this is not a media outlet, it is not a new political faction, it is not a new Pro Wrestling nor MMA Production.  This is Westboro Baptist Church.  These are the "God Hates Fags" morons that go around protesting Funeral Services of military service men and women because they believe that God hates homosexuals sooooo much that he is killing our soldiers to punish us for being a country full of people who accept/tolerate (whatever, you get the picture) homosexuals.  He is punishing us for our complacency...one IED at a time.  Gotcha. 

Okay, first, do these people even read The Holy F--king Bible?  Don't these assholes realize that the last time God was pissed off with flamers he turned Sodom & Gomorrah into dust? Do you think that God did that one soldier at a time?  I' not thinking so.  I'm thinking it was probably something grossly more catastrophic than that.  Further, if he could pick off one soldier at a time, could he not also pick off one homosexual at a time?  So, if he's so mad with homosexuals, then why not pick them off?  Makes a little more sense to go direct to the source.  I'm not suggesting that's a good idea, just trying to make a point.  I have nothing against anyone for their sexuality.  I simply don't care that much about a person's sexuality with the exception of the fact that I LOVE LOVE LOVE (written with a lisp) to make fun of flamboyant men.  Sorry, it's just the way it is.  Chinese people are bad drivers, too. Those fawkers are hilarious.  I almost spit up my tuna salad sandwich at Jersey Mike's subs while watching a very flamboyant man order his sandwhich.  He was a black man with an accent.  Perhaps Nigerian.  I know, it's already hilarious.  He was dressed in khaki pants and a loud button-up shirt with Aussie-style cowboy boots.  He also had those crazy contacts that make your pupils look like star-bursts.  He was on the phone the entire time that he ordered his sandwich, paid for it and exited--never put the phone down.  What an ass, right?  Anyway, this guy starts dancing, like two-stepping and shimming his hips and wriggling his butt to the music that was playing the sub shop, seemingly oblivious to the fact that he's doing it, all the while talking on the phone and ordering a sandwich. Freakin' hilarious!  But I digress....

Back to the WBC. These people showed up outside the Twitter office in San Fransisco (they must have thought they made it to the belly of the beast of the 8th Boglia of Hell!).Why are they protesting Twitter?   Here's the quote from one protester, "Twitter should be used to tell the punks of doomed America that God hates you!"  What?  I'm speechless.  That is so far beyond retarded that I don't know how to respond.  Seriously.

So, here's the really good part.  Apparently, the 9 intelligent people of San Francisco who had nothing to do that day decided to gather to PROTEST the protesters, making a mockery oft he WBC.  These folks were holding signs that said, "God Hates Ponies" and "Sodomy is So Much Fun," just to name a couple.  Love it!  Frickin awesome.

It took less than 30 minutes for the WBC to abandon their Twitter Protest. LMAO!

 Anywho, I don't pretend to know God's intentions nor his preference about people's sexuality, but I can tell you I'm pretty sure that I know what he thinks about assholes.