In an effort to curb alcoholism, the UK has banned drinking games. The move is also modeled to encourage weight loss, as it’s impossible to eat British food sober.

Actor Rip Torn – best known for his roles in Men in Black and Dodgeball – has been released on bail and will enter rehab after his arrest for breaking into a bank in Connecticut while armed with a gun. 

According to court reports, Torn, 78, was allegedly so intoxicated that he believed he was at home and had left his hat and boots by the door.

He was arrested on Friday night after he was found inside the Litchfield Bancorp bank with a loaded revolver.

Torn was charged with burglary, criminal trespass and weapons offenses, but was released on $100,000 bail and ordered to undergo alcohol rehabilitation.

Apparently, if you can dodge a wrench, you can dodge prison! 

Researchers have discovered that monkeys who experience increased hormonal reactions to stress while infants are more likely to consume large amounts of alcohol as they reach adulthood. They also found that male monkeys drank more than females, and those raised without adult contact drank more than those raised with their mothers.  ***MARLAR: They’re now doing a follow-up study to determine where the monkeys are buying the booze.

Q: Why did Tiger Woods go to Hattiesburg, Mississippi to a sex clinic?

Answer A: Because he had run out of white trash to pick up in Florida.

Answer B: One state down; forty-nine to go.

Answer C: Because Mississippi women like multiple partners. That's why they always say "Y'all come!"

Answer D: A sex clinic? Dude! That's like an alcoholic moving in at Jack Daniel's house!

Answer E: Because he thought the word "grits" meant a new sexual position. 

They say the holidays are a hard time for Alcoholics to Stay sober. I would venture to guess for a sexaholic Valentines day would be a trigger. That is the day Tiger Woods is being released from his Sex rehab. I wonder if they have marathon meetings on that day? 

A rule at the New York Jets final game against the Cincinnati Bengals at their stadium did not allow fans to drink alcohol during the game.  All drinking was done before the game.  By the Cincinnati Bengals.

The New York Jets will not be serving alcohol this Sunday during the game. All drinking will therefore need to be done on the way to the stadium on the team bus.

The New York Jets will not be serving alcohol this Sunday during the game.

All drinking will therefore need to be done on the way to the stadium

on the team bus.

South Dakota authorities say a woman found passed out in a stolen delivery van earlier this month registered a blood alcohol content of .708. The contents of the delivery van? I wouldn’t be surprised if it was beer.

How does Tiger Woods drink so much and still play such phenomenal golf? I don't know, but I've been drinking for years and I still suck at golf!