He was so intoxicated he couldn't even log in on his laptop.

http://www.asylum.com/2009/11/03/forklift-accident-alcohol-crash-moscow/?icid=main|htmlws-main-n|dl8|link2|http%3A%2F%2Fwww.asylum.com%2F2009%2F11%2F03%2Fforklift-accident-alcohol-crash-moscow%2F

Did you see the forklift accident at Vodka wharehouse in Moscow? click link above.

I think the forlift driver may have been nervous that Sarah Palin might have been watching him from her house.

Siemens Mobile, a German telecommunications company, is developing the first cell phone that will tell you if you stink. It has a microchip that scans nearby air for smells, including halitosis, alcohol and atmospheric gas, and alerts users if their breath is bad or they are giving off offensive odors. ***MARLAR: And if the smell is really bad, it dials 911.

Former President George W. Bush made his debut as a motivational speaker Monday night, telling a Texas crowd it’s futile to waste energy chasing popularity.

The next stop on Bush’s speaking tour: a Texas rehab center… where he will tell patients that being an alcoholic and an addict doesn’t mean you can’t be President.

Bush will follow this up with an engagement at the National Convention for Motivational Speakers… where he will tell his colleagues that a poor vocabulary is, in fact, a prerequisite for motivational speaking.

In Hayward, Wisconsin, shoppers at Marketplace Foods got an unexpected surprise when a 125-pound black bear walked into the store and headed straight for the beer cooler! The furry beast calmly climbed up 12 feet onto a shelf in the beer cooler where it sat for about an hour while employees helped evacuate customers and summoned wildlife officials. The good folks from the Wisconsin Department of Natural Resources tranquilized the animal and took it out of the store. Store workers say the bear seemed content in the cooler and did not consume any alcohol.  ***MARLAR: Who knew that beer was considered a bear necessity? 

...Amy Winehouse spent roughly $14 million on partying while on a 7 month stay in St. Lucia.  Most of the money went to pay for drugs & alcohol, new clothes, and her next 3 re-hab stays.  

A billboard featuring an adorable baby sucking down a cold beer has residents of several Connecticut neighborhoods all abuzz. The billboard, which also shows two underage kids consuming alcohol, aims to curb teenage drinking, and poses the question: "You wouldn't do this then ... Why now?"   ***MARLAR: Don't babies come from drinking beer?

David Hasselhoff, otherwise known as the Hoff, was taken by ambulance to the hospital last week after suffering from alcohol poisoning. Apparently, he's been boozing a lot recently because America has talent and he doesn't.

I was talking to my friend Jessica last night, and she was saying how she rarely drinks, and has never done drugs.  Growing up she saw the effects of drugs and alcohol on her parents, and that's why she's mostly straight edge.

I learned a similar lesson with my mom's addictions.  Growing up she would do an enormous amount of cleaning only to have me mess up the house again. So as an adult bachelor I'm pretty straight edged about not cleaning... I'm just going to mess it up again.  That's called foresight and good time management. 

...David Hasselhoff has again been hospitalized due to alcohol poisoning.  Hasselhoff became upset and reportedly went on a bender after finding out that President Obama had no intention of naming him as Special U.S. Envoy to Stolichnaya.