A United Airlines pilot was arrested at London's Heathrow Airport yesterday for being drunk .  The co-pilot allegedly blew the whistle on pilot Erwin Vermont Washington just moments before they were to take-off . Washington denied he was intoxicated at the time of his arrest . As Scotland Yard detectives escorted Mr Washington out of the cockpit and into a waiting police car, he was heard shouting,  " You damned Brits still can't get over losing the colony 230 years ago ! "   Asked what he will do for a job afterwards, Washington told a reporter " I'll probably sign-up with Northwest Airlines . "

...the manager of a Jamaican reggae band was arrested at Kennedy airport and charged with smuggling 2 lbs of marijuana into the country.  The man insists he is innocent and was framed, but the authorities claim he was caught dread handed.  

No one was seriously injured after a plane hit an SUV and made a crash landing in the street during rush hour traffic in North Las Vegas. A pilot and passenger in a home-built Dragonfly aircraft had just taken off from North Las Vegas Airport when it grazed overhead lines and flew over six lanes of traffic before hitting Candace Porter's SUV. Then the plane crashed landed in the street. The pilot was taken to the hospital with minor injuries, while the roof of Porter's SUV was damaged.  ***MARLAR: Sounds like the driver should’ve been in a Dodge.

...it used to bother me every time i had to take my shoes off at airports, but now i'm used to it.  At the same time i'm really grateful that Richard Reid wasn't the underwear bomber.  

   Overheard at a local airport:  "What happened to that passion you once had for mountain climbing?"

   "I got over it." 

Those two Northwest pilots who overshot the airport had a valid excuse.  They were on their laptops testing out a new cockpit video game they'd designed together.  "We designed it for all those folks who'd like to fly a commercial airliner, but of course, will never be given that responsibility.  Just like us."

The pilots of that wayward Airbus A-320 now admit they were using their laptops while overshooting the airport by 150 miles . The laptop's names were : Flight Attendant Bette "Busty" Bennington and Flight Attendant "Fiery" Fiona Fiorentino .  Pilots Richard Cole and Timothy Cheney admitted to FBI agents and NTSB investigators, " That was one hell of a career ending Lap-Dance we got at 37,000 feet ! "

I just came back from a lovely trip, I just took my mother in law to the airport

The passengers aboard that flight that overshot the airport are now fuming.  The airline didn't even give them those 150 extra frequent flier miles!

After flying in circles 150 miles past the airport, NWA pilot Richard Cole told Federal Agents in Minneapolis he had little to report about the mishap . " we were not asleep , we were not fighting or arguing, and we weren't drunk ."  FBI agents interviewed several passengers who said everything seemed normal until flight attendant Bette "Busty" Bennington went inside the cockpit .  The voice recorder in the cabin didn't tell investigators much in the way of spoken words . However there were a lot of  " Ohhhhhh's,"  " Ahhhhh's," " Mmmmm's,"  and a few " Yes! Yes! Yes's " and many " Oh My Gods,"  heard on the tape .